RE: Group Input Needed (Full Version)

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DivaDuchess -> RE: Group Input Needed (9/25/2007 8:47:01 AM)

Depending on where you live, a contract isn't worth the paper it's written on in this lifestyle.  There is not actual respect for it in the court system or government.  So ... breaking that down more ... it's more a symbol, like many see the collar.  It stands, in words, for what you have committed to do with and for each other.  It's also a tool to fall back on when there's a problem.  Bringing something out that may or ... may not readdress the reasons you are together in the first place.

Just my thoughts.





DominicsJoy -> RE: Group Input Needed (9/25/2007 9:04:23 AM)

Back to the "velcro collar" discussion. I will always say that the key to any relationship is communication. If you don't have a clear understanding of each other going into any situation, then of course there will be surprises (and not all good). If you love and respect each other... (loving a sub is not a sign of weakness-though some here act as if it is) then nothing cannot be discussed. Approach these issues before they occur and it diffuses them.

ie... I have noticed at munches that a couple of the Doms seem to show some attraction for me. I share this with Master who has also noticed. I share my feelings with him and acknowlege that I am flattered by the attention, but feel no need to stray. This not only takes care of any chance of jealousy that might sprout up, but it honestly tells him of my feelings in the situation. The problems seem to occur when people don't discuss these things, choosing to hide them. Situations occur, and people get hurt. If you can possibly keep an open dialog with your partner, and find out where their loyalties lie from the beginning, you have a better chance of having a long term relationship.

Best wishes to you.

Master's girl - joy



HottLicks -> RE: Group Input Needed (9/25/2007 11:15:20 AM)

My contract is the relationship itself.  Would I admit on paper that I am going to break the law?  Oh honey... not in this lifetime! lol Would it be nice to have a written agreement proving the one I was going to break the law on, wanted me to break the law on them... might be nice in a certain setting, but I won't get into that setting! Domestic abuse laws are good in the right setting, but I don't want to have to stand in court stating I had a contract that is now being ignored and used against me, that wasn't worth a darn legally in the first place.  What is important is the relationship and all that it is based on and I would make sure it was worth something major before I did something I could go to jail for.

As for respect of an established relationship.  Look at society around you.  You have your answer.  What isn't always answered is the response one would have if societies lack of respect influenced your relationship.  Now that gets rather interesting at times. {smile}



Pyrrsefanie -> RE: Group Input Needed (9/25/2007 1:44:55 PM)

If you feel, personally, that you require the assurance of a contract or some kind of formalization of the relationship, then go for it.  See also: marriage.

Otherwise, a legitimate power exchange can easily be implemented without the use of ceremony or pen and paper, assuming both people are devoted enough to each other to remain faithful and continue their roles within the relationship.

I'd also have to question the validity of a contract between a Master and slave, though.  If either party breaches the contract, can it be brought to court due to the lack of legality of BDSM in some states and countries, or would you show up with contract in hand and be promptly escorted out of the courthouse?  I can see where it would be helpful to lay out what both people expect from the relationship in plain view, but this can be done easily without the formality of a contract, either through conversation, or if you absolutely must have it written down, scribble some thoughts down on a piece of paper and compare notes.

As for formal ceremonies and the like, some of them out there are quite beautiful, but it was just as thrilling for me to have my Master look into my eyes while he fastened my collar around my neck the first time as it would have been if we'd gone through the pomp and circumstance of an actual collaring ceremony.

It's a matter of personal preference.  No matter which route you take, there will always be SOMEONE out there who doesn't agree, so there's no 'right' or 'wrong' here.

Hope that helps!



MidMichCowboy -> RE: Group Input Needed (9/25/2007 2:44:05 PM)

Good point ... marriage contracts don't work that well, why would a piece of paper that has no legal standing. Beside, it would mean I have to remember all the little points (which won't happen). How about .. I will love, cherish, control  and abuse you ... you will allow me to?



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