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MDTopCouple -> RE: Frustration! (9/24/2007 6:35:35 PM)
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The two events (the self-inflicted injury and the using of illegal substances) happened at two completely different times.
No, not once during either of these times did anyone "scream" at her or degrade her for being "stupid" as some may have suggested.
We did in fact spend a considerable amount of time talking, apologizing, and in general "debriefing" after the self-inflicted injury inicident. We all discussed (yes, with our clothes on) what we wanted to do from this point forward. We discussed the option of going our separate ways, of persuing the relationship, or simply stepping back for a few days to allow some time to think. We also made sure that our submissive was soothed and calmed before discussing anything. We listened to what she had to say, we apologized for our shortcomings, and she did the same. This was several weeks prior to the illegal substance actions.
Let me be upfront and clear when I say, there was no "suicide" attempt in this situation.
We discussed (talked, cried, got angry, apologized.. etc.. you name it) this until the early hours of morning the next day. When we parted from that 4 day visit (this submissive was fairly local), we left all options open to continue discussions. In the end, We took her back into our home for a second chance because of the continued discussions and communication that occured in the following weeks. It was some time before she came again- not for any specific reason. We had continued scheduling conflicts, work obligations, etc...
The night that I mention as "the final straw" came some time later- 3 weeks in fact- and we had enjoyed an evening of hard play. We thought things were ok with her- she had been soothed by us and we thought she had received the level of aftercare she needed. It turns out that she was feeling jealous about our (mine and my husband's) close relationship. However, she would not or could not communicate that fact to us until much later. She became angry when we said goodnight and she stormed out of the house despite our repeated protests. We did not want her leaving the house so upset. This was not the first time she had not or could not communicate her feelings to us. We had offered many opportunities to do just that in a variety of methods (writing, e-mail, talking to one of us, both of us- we thought we tried it all). Nothing seemed to work. I realize now, looking back, that this should have been a *major* warning. In my profession, I am fairly good at giving someone an outlet to express themselves. No, I am not perfect at it. I was truly at a loss to understand what this submissive was feeling when I saw her as locked up.
I will not give more details about her actions then- but her car was parked outside our home she ran from our house to her car- and she engaged in an illegal activity at that time.
My husband went out to try and reason with her. She in fact, began screaming at him and making unfounded accusations. It was a heated argument that did end with both of them eventually returning to our home. Since it was very late at night by this point, we agreed that she should stay the night and leave in the morning. We did feel responisble for her safety (as we should) and did NOT want her driving at that point.
After that, We agreed that she was not a good match for us. I think that much is self-explanatory.
My main point in even starting this thread was sort of lost in my (inappropriate) rant about one bad situation. I was feeling stung and I brought it to these public boards, which I guess does demonstrate a lack of responsibility on may part.
Either way, I have been given a lot to consider and think about. I do appreciate all the feedback.
-Daisy
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