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My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:06:25 PM

sarahshakti

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

Tonight was my first experince of BDSM, it was pretty intense. I eventually stopped the scene as it became too much for me.

I lost my anal virginity tonight and at the time found it slightly painful, scary, overwhelming and pleasurable in a way I couldn't relax into. Now I'm home and relaxed I've started to find it deeply arousing again and wish I hadn't stopped the scene and come home.

How does my first time compare to yours? I am experiencing normal feelings? :)

Post #: 1

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:34:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_311113/mpage_1/key_first/tm.htm#311125
your first experience

http://www.collarchat.com/m_291346/mpage_1/key_first%252Ctime%252Cclub%252Cplay/tm.htm#291346
1st Time at the Wet Spot

http://www.collarchat.com/m_195507/mpage_1/key_first%252Ctime%252Cclub%252Cplay/tm.htm#195507
Behaviors and Reactions During Play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_78610/mpage_1/key_first%252Ctime%252Cclub%252Cplay/tm.htm#78610
Question about First Time Scenes

http://www.collarchat.com/m_249091/mpage_1/key_first%252Cscene/tm.htm#249091
My first real scene!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_221923/mpage_1/key_first%252Cscene/tm.htm#221923
First Play party

http://www.collarchat.com/m_202913/mpage_1/key_first%252Cscene/tm.htm#202913
Novice Reactions

http://www.collarchat.com/m_95381/mpage_1/key_first%252Cscene/tm.htm#95381
"playing" on the first meet?

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Post #: 2

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:35:08 PM

sarahshakti

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

Oh sorry, I didn't think to search.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:38:19 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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My 1st session was 26 hours...and very intense. I too used my safe word( the guy was using a chain flogger OUCH!) I really enjoyed it....although it seemed like a whirlwind....we did SO much in the 26 hours...HOLY SMOKES!....Any virginity I had left I lost that day/night LOL

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 9/21/2007 3:51:24 PM >

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Post #: 4

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:39:24 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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Yeah, you're normal

Sometimes you just need time to sit and mentally process what just happened, let it sink in. That's a lot for a first-time experience.

Hopefully your Dom will realize it and maybe not try to "introduce" you to so much all at once next time.

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RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:43:06 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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No need to apologize :) We've got a chunk of newbies who could stand to share and enjoy the feeling of togetherness.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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Post #: 6

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:43:38 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

No reason to apologize. Reading other's experiences in archives might lack the fun and interaction of sharing that you can get from an exchange of experiences with people who respond to your post. Its always good to research things when you are looking for things like technical advice, but I'm sure you want to SHARE not study :)

My first BDSM experience was amazing. I didn't stop the scene, but was shocked to come to my senses and realize I'd climbed the cross. I had to get help coming down off it. After that, we chained my hands AND my ankles.

I've had many experiences that I'd wished had gone more intense but its better to quit early and have a good first experience than go too far and have a potentially traumatic one. Just think how much more fun you'll have next time.

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Post #: 7

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:46:04 PM

sarahshakti

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

Lol, well I wouldn't blame the Dom, I begged and begged for my ass to be fucked!

It was strange though, I couldn't get my head around it when it was happening and afterwards on my way home I felt totally submissive, like I would have said yes to anything.

And now I feel really high and want to do it again!

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 8

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:47:05 PM

sarahshakti

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

No reason to apologize. Reading other's experiences in archives might lack the fun and interaction of sharing that you can get from an exchange of experiences with people who respond to your post. Its always good to research things when you are looking for things like technical advice, but I'm sure you want to SHARE not study :)

My first BDSM experience was amazing. I didn't stop the scene, but was shocked to come to my senses and realize I'd climbed the cross. I had to get help coming down off it. After that, we chained my hands AND my ankles.

I've had many experiences that I'd wished had gone more intense but its better to quit early and have a good first experience than go too far and have a potentially traumatic one. Just think how much more fun you'll have next time.

Thanks, that's really helpful.

x

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 9

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:47:59 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Remember your entire body and mind have had a bit of an upheaval in a short space of time. Take the time to absorb all those feelings, let some feelings out if you want to and just be for a little while.

Sometimes it can all seem a little too much, but there's plenty of time to explore. It isn't necessary to try everything on the first day.

Good luck!!

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Post #: 10

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:50:42 PM

sarahshakti

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

I really wanted to be a better sub and let the Dom do everything he wanted, I do feel I let him down but I think that I was overly optomistic about what I could take the first time.

After he did my ass I felt so overwhelmed and confused.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 11

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:52:56 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sarahshakti

Oh sorry, I didn't think to search.

No, no need to apologize for asking, this is a forum after all.

Lucky is to be appreciated though for advancing information
at a snap, that you can find easy access to your query.

You are normal, and smart to end something which you
found becoming to intense to handle. No need to rush
into that banquet which lays before you. One delicious
morsel at a time, savor the flavor, digest, then visit the
buffet when you know you are ready for another taste.

Bon Appetit

chia* (the pet)

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Post #: 12

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:56:27 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Yep, you are feeling normal feelings. At least i know i did but my Dom took it much much slower. Yea he showed me the different spanking impliments and gave me a few swats, but that was pretty much it. The rest we talked and became more comfortable with each other, so far, knock on wood, i have not had to stop a scene. He knows my limits and respects them so he'll take it slow. But why a intense scene to start off beats me, but again that's just me

. Glad you had a good time though in the beginning.

(in reply to sarahshakti)

Post #: 13

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 3:58:25 PM

sarahshakti

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Yep, you are feeling normal feelings. At least i know i did but my Dom took it much much slower. Yea he showed me the different spanking impliments and gave me a few swats, but that was pretty much it. The rest we talked and became more comfortable with each other, so far, knock on wood, i have not had to stop a scene. He knows my limits and respects them so he'll take it slow. But why a intense scene to start off beats me, but again that's just me . Glad you had a good time though in the beginning.

I did get what I asked for, though we did it in the middle of nowhere in the dark with me bent over his car, that made it just a bit too much for me I think.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 14

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 4:54:50 PM

mistresspunisher

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sarahshakti
[I did get what I asked for, though we did it in the middle of nowhere in the dark with me bent over his car, that made it just a bit too much for me I think.

Im so glad you enjoyed your first experience. I do get a feeling from your words that while you enjoyed it you felt a little overwhelmed. Please excuse me if I am wrong on that. Perhaps it may be a good idea to have a chat with your Dom on how you feel. As others have said your mind and body has taken a lot. Communication between the two of you may help you both learn about each other and recognise when you are pushing your limits but dont have to stop a scene. That way you can relax, feel safe in your surroundings and trust he recognises the signals and perhaps take things slower if necessary.

I like to push my sub a little but I would rather we stop before he feels as though it was a bit too much so he always comes back wanting more! Good communication by both partners is so important.

take care, play safe

< Message edited by mistresspunisher -- 9/21/2007 4:58:59 PM >

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Post #: 15

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/21/2007 5:01:10 PM

dollylima

Posts: 48
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

Well, I didn't "stop the scene" and I also didnt post the details. So, in those ways, we differ.

I do remember at one point in the middle of the night when he had decided I was to go downstairs and make him a midnight snack and things getting a bit intense, processing in that moment, that if I was going to be up for this relationship I was going to be up for this whenever and however he wanted. And I had to ask myself "If this is how it's going to be, do I want this relationship?"

Like I said, I didn't "stop the scene".

I also identify with your feelings about anal. It's deliciously awful. I wax poetic about it and then when it happens, my internal monologue changes pretty significantly...

< Message edited by dollylima -- 9/21/2007 5:02:08 PM >

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Post #: 16

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/22/2007 7:41:51 AM

HollyBlue

Posts: 144
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sarahshakti

Lol, well I wouldn't blame the Dom, I begged and begged for my ass to be fucked!

It was strange though, I couldn't get my head around it when it was happening and afterwards on my way home I felt totally submissive, like I would have said yes to anything.

And now I feel really high and want to do it again!

I think it's wonderful that you were left feeling that way! You got just enough to make you long for more, and not more than you could take.

At first, when my Master and I were very, very new, I stopped a few things (didn't have to safe, just communicated) that I probably could have withstood a little longer, in retrospect. I learned from those experiences, shared them with my Master, and they made our future sessions that much better.

I think as a beginner, you were right to err on the side of caution, and any decent Dom will understand and also be delighted that you're willing to admit you might have been able to take more.

Regardless, it sounds like you're at the beginning of a wonderful adventure, and I can definitely identify with that. Although my first experiences were in March of this year, and I've now been living with my Master for nearly 4 months, I still feel as if I'm at the beginning of a wonderful adventure.

If both of you keep the lines of communication wide open, it can only get better and better.

Oh, and finally, about the search thing...yes, it's nice to be able to find information, but sometimes I also think we need to make contact, to talk about our experiences in the present and relate to people. I wouldn't apologize at all, if I were you, for making your OP. It's gotten an interesting discussion going, and you've gotten some very good responses.

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Post #: 17

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/22/2007 7:45:16 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sarahshakti

Lol, well I wouldn't blame the Dom, I begged and begged for my ass to be fucked!

i can relate....i don't remember a whole lot of my first experience, lots of experiences since then and lots of drugs and seizures since then too unfortunately and well that kind of ruins memory cells...so that sucks....but one thing i do remember is coming very close to anal fisting that night and i was an anal virgin.....

edited to add: i was lucky...he had lots of experience and i was in no way harmed and was safely stretched and worked up to taking a lot of his huge hand.......................lol

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 9/22/2007 7:46:26 AM >

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Post #: 18

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/22/2007 7:45:51 AM

HollyBlue

Posts: 144
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dollylima
I also identify with your feelings about anal. It's deliciously awful. I wax poetic about it and then when it happens, my internal monologue changes pretty significantly...[/font]

ROTFLMAO!

For me, that's true of several D/s activities, not just anal..

"Deliciously awful" is a great description of the phenomenon.

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Post #: 19

RE: My first time tonight... - 9/22/2007 8:13:24 AM

SirCache

Posts: 159
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline

It helps a bit on the more intense scenes to have him reassure you as things come down. Especially in cases where you are brand new to something, it's important that you get the reassurance and acceptance. Still, welcome to the wonderful world of anal. :)

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Post #: 20

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