SusanofO
Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005 Status: offline
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ChainsandFreedom: I do too, if there was a way to fairly implement the idea, I would definitely be all for licensing people to become parents. Because I think there are plenty of folks out there who just aren't very good ones, and appear to not really even want to be parents (but they are). That the woman referred to in the aticle made no mention of the potential impact of this idea on children told me all I needed to know about her, frankly. On the other hand - I don't think it's all that revolutionary an idea - because most people who don't want to stay married these days, simply divorce anyway - before (or after) 7 years are up. So - it's not as if there doesn't already exist a way for people to end their marriages. *The new twist here - is that they could end their marriage out of boredom, etc. - and a "7 year review" of the state of their marital circumstances might in fact, IMO, encourage this. Maybe the parents are bored with eachother after 7 years - but I am pretty sure some of their kids might not be too happy if they decided to split up simply due to this, and for no other reason. Of course I am sure this woman will justify her ideas by claiming we all have a right to pursue our own interests, be happy, etc. - well, fine. Except if that is all you are interested in - pursuing your own interests - then why bother getting married at all? There is nothing wrong with being single, or in living with someone (although IMO, if people are gonna have kids, I think it's nice if they're married (but that is my own preference in these matters). Because the minute you become married - you have automatically enmeshed another person's fate with your own, in ways that have some distinct ramifications - in terms of legal rights, ability to make medical decisions, property rights, etc. Add kids to the mix, and you are involving several other people in your "life plan" - no matter how selfish or screwed up it is - as well. **I won't argue that some of the "spark" can (and often does go out of a marriage after X number of years). Maybe for childless couples, it's not a bad idea. Alhtough I still know people who would not have any other partner than the one they originally chose to marry - even after decades. But the idea that everyone is like this is, IMO, nonsense (to me). I am no big believer in the idea that "the one" exists for people seeking and finding LT partners. What I have a problem with, though - is that this idea doesn't appear to me to be a very well-thought-out idea, as far as it considers many of the other things that sometimes come with being married, and the most important of these, IMO - can be children. This might sound "old fashioned" of me, but I don't care. It's just my opinion. This woman in the article doesn't exactly strike me as un-selfish, or as a very deep, long-term thinker. I suppose one could argue that the reason this idea might seem threatening to UMs, is just because they are "used to" parents stay together - it is pretty much (as an idea anyway) a social convention for this to be considered "ideal". However, even if UMs might be slowly convinced, were this idea implemented, that it's normal for one of their parents to have a different partner every 7 years - (which could mean 2 or 3 different "moms or dads" for them, by the time they are 21 and of adult legal status) - I still think it is an idea I'd not want to risk the emotional welfare of children to "test out", in terms of trying to revolutionize it's base-line social acceptability. Because I've seen the fall-out from frequent disruption of UMs lives due to selfishly-motivated parenting. And I include this idea in the broad realm of what I'd consider to be selfish motivations for ending a marriage, when children are involved. -Susan
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/21/2007 11:32:54 AM >
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"Hope is the thing with feathers, That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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