RE: marriage with an expiration date?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: marriage with an expiration date?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: marriage with an expiration date?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/21/2007 9:55:40 PM

ChainsandFreedom

Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I was asked a question, ChainsandFreedom, and I answered it.

- I was responding to what you wrote, which was interesting, and If I came off as attacking/belittling you, I wrote badly as this was not my intent. I apologize if this was the case.

(in reply to Sinergy)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/21/2007 9:58:33 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LivingInSin

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070921/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_germany_politics_marriage

So I came across this article and thought "wow, what a wonderful idea!" what are your thoughts?

I think that when I marry I intend to marry for life, not 7 years. Because of my personal views on marriage, I think it's a rotten idea. If your marriage doesn't work - get a divorce.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/21/2007 10:01:23 PM

luckydog1

Posts: 2736
Joined: 1/16/2006
Status: offline

I read that in Iran this is common, you can get "pleasure" married for a little as a 1/2 hour. You just have to pay the local mosque, and its not a sin.

(in reply to RRafe)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/21/2007 10:49:55 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

(There isn't a man that could answer this with any level of honesty....that wouldn't get in trouble).

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/21/2007 11:11:31 PM

LivingInSin

Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

For those who wish to stay married the seven years can be renewed.
I think a law such as this would prevent a lot of the spousal abuse, and child neglect.
Having a law such as this, though does damage the certain states, such as my own of Arizona, that have what is called a "Covenant" Marriage. The only grounds for divorce are spousal abuse, life time sentence to a federal prison, or death. I think they both will do the same thing.
Too many people do go into marriages with the whole "if it doesnt work, i can always get a divorce" mentality. Both of these methods would be great for "spur of the moment" marriages.

_____________________________

*Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom*

*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/22/2007 2:24:37 AM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

I love the idea, and think it would cut down drastically on the divorce rate.
Knowing that the day will come this phucker will have to leave without any court orders or lawyer involvement. Just done, buh bye! Next, lmao.

M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/22/2007 12:52:14 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: LivingInSin

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070921/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_germany_politics_marriage

So I came across this article and thought "wow, what a wonderful idea!" what are your thoughts?

I think that when I marry I intend to marry for life, not 7 years. Because of my personal views on marriage, I think it's a rotten idea. If your marriage doesn't work - get a divorce.

This is what almost everybody says, AquaticSub. I am simply pointing out that from a statistical perspective, it is betting on a losing horse.

If it were as easy to get a divorce as Steve Martin posited (Say I break with thee 3x, and then you throw doggie poopie on her shoes) it would be a no-brainer to do as you suggested.

What happens is that an emotionally charged breakup now comes replete with child-rearing and property issues, at a time when the emotional connection of love has been flipped to the emotional connection of hate.

The 7 year approach is simply intended to ward off future attorney fees when the marraige ends.

As Neo pointed out to Agent Smith in the Matrix; everything that has a beginning has an end.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/22/2007 12:56:49 PM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

a driver,, hunting, fishing, gun license all expire as does a passport.
tho a birth certificate doesn't.

it might be a good idea. tho- 7 yrs is a long time if one is waiting.

(in reply to Sinergy)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/22/2007 5:41:12 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LivingInSin

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070921/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_germany_politics_marriage

So I came across this article and thought "wow, what a wonderful idea!" what are your thoughts?

Every idea has its benefits and drawbacks.

I'll begin with the positive aspects of this propostion. Making marriages expire within a set time frame would allow people to carefully consider the nature of their commitments to one another. People have been known to remarry each other or renew vows; renewing marriage could prove to be as positive and affirming. If the couple discovers they are better suited not being together [and this should be weighed very carefully, especially where ums are concerned!], letting the vows expire would be more practical in the long run...assuming the costs were preset and minimal, as splitting off to live in a new residence and caring for an um on one's own is not cheap.

From the negative aspect, redefining marriage as something that expires can lessen its significance. Religious- and gender-based views aside [for both are mentioned in the cited article], marriage is first and foremost a commitment. Although the middle road of simply living together without being married was initially frowned upon, it now serves many people with a period of time wherein they can discover for themselves whether they can handle such a significant act. I would, from that mindset, liken a temporary marriage with temporary parenthood. Is there a point where it is acceptable to walk away from being a parent, role model, teacher? If not, then perhaps marriage is a corresponding parallel that encourages the long-term thought process that IMO, more people could bear to discover.

My personal stance would run in a vein similar to thoughts already expressed. Know what you're getting into, and then if you can still move forward, do so. If a marriage is not meant to work, for whatever reason, lessen the financial burdens it brings so that life can at least move forward without one more thing to fear. Whether together, or apart, remain humane as best you can - if both sides practiced that mentality, divorces would likely lessen in number [know yourself; know your partner; know the consequences; enjoy...good things in D/s and vanilla, neh?] and be far more civil.

If you marry an ass...well, yes, it sucks, and yes, you'll be angry, probably rightly so. All the more reason to weigh the matter beforehand, and be it harsh, it's a good lesson in life [one I've had several times, though only from engagement - I have not married yet].

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/22/2007 9:46:43 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Yeah, I want to get married, but just for tonight.

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/22/2007 11:28:47 PM

ChainsandFreedom

Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I think a law such as this would prevent a lot of the spousal abuse, and child neglect.

but wouldn't the abusing spouse just pressure the victim into renewing the marriage any, the same way they pressure the victim into not getting a divorce today?

quote:

Too many people do go into marriages with the whole "if it doesnt work, i can always get a divorce" mentality. Both of these methods would be great for "spur of the moment" marriages.

wouldn't this just encourage 'if it doesnt work, I can get a divorce mentality to happen even more?

-some would say the key to a sucessful marriage is not to be spur of the moment, anyway. I think we'd be much better off making a law saying two people had to live together for a certain amount of time and get rid of the shot-gun weddings, if we wanted to have less divorces.

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/22/2007 11:31:58 PM

onlyHisgirl

Posts: 101
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline

Very interesting...i had friends that got married last year in one of those "covenant" marriages. they both want a divorce now but have to "wait" a year and go through counseling first. However he is refusing so she may be able to get out of it.

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/23/2007 12:39:28 PM

LivingInSin

Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom
-some would say the key to a sucessful marriage is not to be spur of the moment, anyway. I think we'd be much better off making a law saying two people had to live together for a certain amount of time and get rid of the shot-gun weddings, if we wanted to have less divorces.

that is a good idea as well. You never know anyone as well as you think you do until you live with the 24/7.

_____________________________

*Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom*

*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*

(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: marriage with an expiration date? - 9/23/2007 1:20:02 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

~fast reply~

perhaps a return to Brehon Law...

marriages were never permanent. you made a contract for a year and a day, and if no children came of it, divorce was not an issue, your spouse could easily be set aside. marriage was a way to give children a name, and a place in society. bastards were frowned upon because they wouldnt know where they stood in society.

kitten

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 34