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Lumus -> RE: marriage with an expiration date? (9/22/2007 5:41:12 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LivingInSin
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070921/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_germany_politics_marriage
So I came across this article and thought "wow, what a wonderful idea!" what are your thoughts?
Every idea has its benefits and drawbacks.
I'll begin with the positive aspects of this propostion. Making marriages expire within a set time frame would allow people to carefully consider the nature of their commitments to one another. People have been known to remarry each other or renew vows; renewing marriage could prove to be as positive and affirming. If the couple discovers they are better suited not being together [and this should be weighed very carefully, especially where ums are concerned!], letting the vows expire would be more practical in the long run...assuming the costs were preset and minimal, as splitting off to live in a new residence and caring for an um on one's own is not cheap.
From the negative aspect, redefining marriage as something that expires can lessen its significance. Religious- and gender-based views aside [for both are mentioned in the cited article], marriage is first and foremost a commitment. Although the middle road of simply living together without being married was initially frowned upon, it now serves many people with a period of time wherein they can discover for themselves whether they can handle such a significant act. I would, from that mindset, liken a temporary marriage with temporary parenthood. Is there a point where it is acceptable to walk away from being a parent, role model, teacher? If not, then perhaps marriage is a corresponding parallel that encourages the long-term thought process that IMO, more people could bear to discover.
My personal stance would run in a vein similar to thoughts already expressed. Know what you're getting into, and then if you can still move forward, do so. If a marriage is not meant to work, for whatever reason, lessen the financial burdens it brings so that life can at least move forward without one more thing to fear. Whether together, or apart, remain humane as best you can - if both sides practiced that mentality, divorces would likely lessen in number [know yourself; know your partner; know the consequences; enjoy...good things in D/s and vanilla, neh?] and be far more civil.
If you marry an ass...well, yes, it sucks, and yes, you'll be angry, probably rightly so. All the more reason to weigh the matter beforehand, and be it harsh, it's a good lesson in life [one I've had several times, though only from engagement - I have not married yet].
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