Disability

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Disability

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Disability

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Disability - 9/20/2007 12:37:42 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

It had to happen to me. It was seriously on the cards and in my karma.
What I do in my vanilla life, as my thing, the job I do and am committed to is to work with disability. You might want to call it impairment, or difference or in some cases neuro-atypical, indeed whatever it is which is culturally politically correct to call it. But to save time, and with apologies to everyone I am going to simply call it disability. I work with those who are disadvantaged and in pain psychologically and phtsically and I teach those with learning difficulties. I have severe manic depression running in my family AND I am blessed by a few extremely wonderful friends who are inpaired in some way. Indeed it's hard to define normal in my world.
I met a new Dom two days ago. He is 17 years my junior, has divine eyes and we kissed for the first time on the station platform. We kissed for about 20 long minutes and alll the world went away for me and his mouth was the centre of my world.
If YOU are reading this, my love, as you know what site I am on, then this is for you and about you ok.....
Anyway I have had one repetitive dream all my life, It is about a relationship with a man in a wheelchair. It wasn;t and isn't a metaphor for me being dominant as I am bi and only domme to women. I used to wake up crying and so missing this beautiful disabled lover.

Anyway back to reality. I knew from his profile he had lost a leg but there he was standing waiting for me and invited me home. It got hot, there was pain and power exchange and I went into my submissive mode. Eventually he asked me to go to his bed. It was going to be for some straightforward kind, vanilla sex but I knew it was a huge admission of him wanting me to see him naked. He is an amputee. It has made me feel safer, closer and SO admire his courage. He told me his story and how his fiancee left him after the accident. He is THE most non narcissistic man I have ever met. I believe (as I am psychic....sorry here we go again) that it was him in and out of my dreams.
But psychicisn't the issue here. The issue I wanted to raise was the fact of disability, and to question what role it plays in other's lives.
I'm besotted with him and apparently he doesn't DO LOVE. but we'll see as he fell asleep in my arms and it felt like the sleep of ages....a real handing over of his power to me. He is a very strong and absolutely together person.
I said eventually oh I'll get up then as soon as I can stand. He said oh you think you have problems. It was wonderful humour.
He's got me. prothesis and all.

Prinsexx

Prinsexx

Post #: 1

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 12:49:03 AM

naughtytoddler

Posts: 19
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline

Aww.thats awesome..I am disabled myself. I have CF(Cystic Fibrosis.). I've cheated death 9 times..out lived all my CF friends that I grew up qwith, out of all of them.I'm the last one & I still keep going, still keep fighting. Having a disability is harsh. You see these idiots cry about how they have a cold and want to call in sick from work when they havent been sick a day in their life but they havent walked in our shoes. We have it worse and see the world much different than most people do. I think those of us are a special breed of people. We value life alot more, cherish those around us more and stop take notice of the world around us and all it has to offer. I wish everyonje couild see the worl;d around us as we do. I'm not saying that I or We are better than everyone else..We arent, We are just different and a breed apart. It warms my heart and my soul to see another fellow disabled soul living their life happily. I know alot of disabled people that arent. -hugs to you.- -Darien.-

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 2

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 1:47:51 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

That was beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.

Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 3

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 3:00:13 AM

AGRTDOM

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/27/2007
Status: offline

Your story is wonderful and certainly touched me. I too have a daisability (MS). Life has certainly not stopped for me and I'm glad you see past a handicap. Our souls are what counts, not the container.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 4

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 3:14:37 AM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

My Husband/Dom is disabled - He has renal failure and diabetes. We have been together now for coming up 4 years, and married for 9 months.

He told me He was very nervous about me seeing Him nude for the first time. His body is covered with scars, a legacy of the horrible itching He suffers from. Things are better now, and the scars have faded, but at the time they were very visible. It is only in the last year He has felt comfortable with being completely naked....before He kept His T shirt on.

I will admit to being shocked when I first saw His body, because He also had a catheter in His tummy for peritoneal dialysis (which has since been removed). He did tell me about it before we got together, but it's different when you first see it. However the shock only lasted a few seconds, and then it was just Him, the lovely man I'd known online for over a year.

He tells me I am one in a million, because so many women would not even look at Him when He told them of His problems. However He believes in being open and honest, and so He told me all about His health before we even decided to meet. I made a three week first visit to Him, where I learned all about His problems and their treatment.....I even had to call an ambulance for Him in the first few days when He had a diabetic hypo and I couldn't wake Him.

Over the time we've been together He's been in hospital several times, had surgeries and now we are doing haemodialysis at home. There's no prospect of a kidney transplant, so this is our life. We take everything day by day, and love each other very much. A sense of humour helps, and we both are similar in that

There's lots of laughter in our house!

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 5

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 4:58:09 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

i have fibromyalgia and suspected of either lupus or MS. i have a lot of bad days. Sir makes adjustments in what we do on bad days.

i took care of james through foot problems related to diabetes, through 3 bouts of congestive heart failure and nearly kidney failure, till he finally died of a massive heart attack, at home, in my arms.

fal went fom cancer...submission was taking care of him and not losing faith/hope in knowing he was going to die. he was he one who ordered me to find someone new once he was gone, he wouldnt hear of my being alone.

disability happens. its all in how we deal with it. do we look at the disability or the whole person? i'm dealing with my never-ending nightmare coming true and still Sir wants to be there for me, as do my husband and my otherlove.

kitten

(in reply to Rayne58)

Post #: 6

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 5:07:45 AM

MamaDomme

Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline

Very beautiful. Yes, this is your man of your dreams.

And as you know from your work, the disability is NOT the person. I have a quad son and he is pure love.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 7

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 5:18:58 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

hates her body this morning....i will not have a seizure....they won't let me use the power tools in sculpture...and hey i only cut my self with the hand tools on tuesday...i was perfectly fine with the power tools...

i think the seizures are why i haven't played as much this year either....because i haven't been in a relationship, i haven't been able to go - hey i feel good tonight, can we...its...oh its party time, feel like shit...do food and go home...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to MamaDomme)

Post #: 8

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 5:34:38 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Logged in as: adoracat
Users viewing this topic: adoracat, SweetSarijane, sophia37

Tree Style Subscribe Printable Version
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Disability Page: [1]
Login Message

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

hates her body this morning....i will not have a seizure....they won't let me use the power tools in sculpture...and hey i only cut my self with the hand tools on tuesday...i was perfectly fine with the power tools...

i think the seizures are why i haven't played as much this year either....because i haven't been in a relationship, i haven't been able to go - hey i feel good tonight, can we...its...oh its party time, feel like shit...do food and go home...

*gentle hugs*

i get pseudo-seizures, often from too much sensory input. which includes....playtime and/or sex. desperately frustrating.

kitten, who also isnt supposed to drive any more but still does

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 9

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 5:36:26 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

Yup. A disabilty sometimes goes hand in hand with learning, love, compassion, strength humor and a love for life and living. Strange what the wolrd offers us.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 10

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 5:40:55 AM

UR2Badored

Posts: 506
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline

I hate to sound like broken record. That was a beautifully written and romantic love story......I hope this relationship fullfills your dreams and life. Best of luck to you and yours.

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 9/20/2007 5:41:35 AM >

_____________________________

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way
Mark Twain

(in reply to sophia37)

Post #: 11

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 5:53:06 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

just wondering what you mean by psuedo-seizures? because i didn't think mine were seizures till i went to a nuerologist and he told me that its just in one section of my brain...but they are, really, full blow, actual seizures...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 12

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 5:53:20 AM

apiercedkitty

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

~FR~
I think it's wonderful that you've met this man... i wish you both nothing but happiness.

i had the good fortune of falling desperately in love with a Dom that was disabled. Neither of us was interested in anything serious - but we met online and ended up becoming very good friends before we both plunged over the edge. It wasn't until we talked about me flying out to see Him that He disclosed His disabilities to me. He had suffered a near fatal drug overdose in college and it took Him a year to learn to walk again. Unfortunately, the effects of the drug left Him with permanent nerve damage and also aphasic (unable to speak). When He told me, my initial reaction was "So what??" i could have cared less that He was sometimes wheelchair bound. i did admit to Him that the only regret i would ever have was never hearing Him call me His. But, i reassured Him that it wasn't something that i needed either - as long as i had Him. Unfortunately, 6 weeks before i was due to fly out to meet Him for the first time, He decided that life was too much for Him and He took His own life. Of course, there's much more to the story - His childhood, etc. but i don't regret for a second that i fell in love with Him. i only wish desperately that i had been able to feel His strong arms hold me.
i guess my point is this - only someone who fears a disability would think twice about having a disabled partner - the ones that are secure in life don't care - it's the total package. Therefore, if someone has a problem with having a relationship with someone with a disability, they probably wouldn't have been worth the effort anyway - just my ho...

_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to UR2Badored)

Post #: 13

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 6:12:11 AM

nytekat

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline

That is one of the most moving, poignant, things I have ever read. I, too, have a disability... but one that people can't see. I was in a coma for a month and a half and, truthfully, the doctor's at the time didn't know I was going to live. So, I concider the fact that I am alive, live on my own, and doing relatively well to be a blessing.

What's interesting is my dad, himself, is an amputee. I have a very funny story of seeing for the first time dad ever had 2 legs. As long as I had known him, he had 1. :)

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

Post #: 14

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 7:24:57 AM

leatherette

Posts: 255
Status: offline

Dear Prinsexx: Thank you for sharing. Wonderful and inspirational ......

true respect to such grace

and why it is worth coming back here
thanks again

(in reply to nytekat)

Post #: 15

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 8:29:32 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

hates her body this morning....i will not have a seizure....they won't let me use the power tools in sculpture...and hey i only cut my self with the hand tools on tuesday...i was perfectly fine with the power tools...

i think the seizures are why i haven't played as much this year either....because i haven't been in a relationship, i haven't been able to go - hey i feel good tonight, can we...its...oh its party time, feel like shit...do food and go home...

waves of compassion to you
really truly

Prinsexx

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 16

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 8:34:36 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leatherette

Dear Prinsexx: Thank you for sharing. Wonderful and inspirational ......

true respect to such grace

and why it is worth coming back here
thanks again

Ahh but he is now away my one legged man, for two weeks.
It was something arranged before I knew him.
i am craving and mssing him in a way that I really simply do not have words for.
Because when he kissed me he GAVE
and when he HURT me he gave exactly right to my limit, to perfection.
I think through me he may want to punish all the women who have fucked him over.
But he'll have tp break me to keep my interest. What I mean by break me is break the hold that all that fascist body cukture has over me.....my insecurities about my face, my wrinkles, etc etc pale into insignificance.

Prinnsexx.

(in reply to leatherette)

Post #: 17

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 8:38:22 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty

~FR~
I think it's wonderful that you've met this man... i wish you both nothing but happiness.

i had the good fortune of falling desperately in love with a Dom that was disabled. Neither of us was interested in anything serious - but we met online and ended up becoming very good friends before we both plunged over the edge. It wasn't until we talked about me flying out to see Him that He disclosed His disabilities to me. He had suffered a near fatal drug overdose in college and it took Him a year to learn to walk again. Unfortunately, the effects of the drug left Him with permanent nerve damage and also aphasic (unable to speak). When He told me, my initial reaction was "So what??" i could have cared less that He was sometimes wheelchair bound. i did admit to Him that the only regret i would ever have was never hearing Him call me His. But, i reassured Him that it wasn't something that i needed either - as long as i had Him. Unfortunately, 6 weeks before i was due to fly out to meet Him for the first time, He decided that life was too much for Him and He took His own life. Of course, there's much more to the story - His childhood, etc. but i don't regret for a second that i fell in love with Him. i only wish desperately that i had been able to feel His strong arms hold me.
i guess my point is this - only someone who fears a disability would think twice about having a disabled partner - the ones that are secure in life don't care - it's the total package. Therefore, if someone has a problem with having a relationship with someone with a disability, they probably wouldn't have been worth the effort anyway - just my ho...

beautiful story
and exceptional love

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

Post #: 18

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 8:40:50 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Yup. A disabilty sometimes goes hand in hand with learning, love, compassion, strength humor and a love for life and living. Strange what the wolrd offers us.

a sense of humour eh? well with his prothesis he really has three legs...lol....yummie

(in reply to sophia37)

Post #: 19

RE: Disability - 9/20/2007 9:24:57 AM

LivingInSin

Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

Im so very happy for you. Ill light a candle for you and your love.

_____________________________

*Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom*

*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Disability

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.750