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I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda bad ... - 9/19/2007 9:27:06 AM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
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I have this... distaste for men who end relationships with me only to then date somoene who isn't BETTER than me...

This is the one place where I believe my lack of maturity probably shows most...

To be BETTER, the new girlfriend needs to be...

prettier (which, admitedly, isn't hard), smarter, more energetic, more fun, more active, and more crazy about him than I ever was.

Currently, my ex just got involved with a horse...

Ok, well she's not a horse, but she looks like one.

and she's 22 and has a two month old child from a one night stand... needless to say, the father isn't in the picture...

(its not like thats the most terrible thing in the world... but surely not BETTER for a younger guy than having a girlfriend who doesn't have kids and can go do things freely...)

I mean, I guess thats his perogative to date a girl who's not anything special...

But... he's capable of more...

Is there ANYONE else who feels like this?

:: prepares to be flamed ::

Post #: 1

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 9:30:15 AM

Alumbrado

Posts: 5560
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What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 2

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 9:38:22 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28
I have this... distaste for men who end relationships with me

That is perfectly healthy to feel such a distaste.

Apparently, though, he did not succeed in ending the relationship, or your distaste in insufficiently strong, for you still present an attachment to him. Cut him out. Whatever he does after your relationship has ended cannot possibly be of any consequence to you. Its his life, not yours.

Turn away and walk your own path.

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 3

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 10:12:15 AM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28
I have this... distaste for men who end relationships with me

That is perfectly healthy to feel such a distaste.

that was taken completely out of context... and its only relative to the situation within the context that it was stated...

thanks though

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 4

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 10:13:01 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Let go. You need to let go....

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 5

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 10:22:07 AM

FatDomDaddy

Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
Status: offline

Katy's right as is rule.

Why waste another .07 seconds on him, that includes adding to this thread.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 6

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 10:27:18 AM

seeksfemslave

Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

satyrsnymph28
Currently, my ex just got involved with a horse...

Well you made me larf even tho' I was "feeling your pain" he he he he he he he

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 7

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 10:29:58 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

Personal preference is very subjective. "Better" is also subjective. There is nothing wrong with you- you are just not the right one for him. I'm sure there is someone who knows you are not only better, but the BEST one for him. It's time to move on.

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 8

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 10:49:56 AM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
Status: offline

honestly... i don't have the time to get involved with someone right now...

so, instead, i spend my "free time" (the time when theres nothing to do at work) posting stuff like this on here...

because its fun to see what people have to say...

and when things like this appear, it frustrates me... because we could still be dating after all this time if he wasn't so dumb...

he's dated a string of animals...
first there was the cow...
then there was the mouse... with 3 kids
and now the horse....

maybe theres something about him and animals...

it just... makes me frustrated, but at the same time i can't help but laugh...

i had this same discussion with another ex of mine who happens to be my best friend... he completely agrees... and now he always asks my opinion on everyone who he's thinking about dating...

its not to say i'm the best of the best... but i'm no farm animal...

:: giggles ::

(in reply to AMaster)

Post #: 9

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 11:08:48 AM

WickedBDSM

Posts: 37
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

he's dated a string of animals...
first there was the cow...
then there was the mouse... with 3 kids
and now the horse....

maybe theres something about him and animals...

its not to say i'm the best of the best... but i'm no farm animal...

:: giggles ::

Exactly, he might be into animals, or they may cater to him in a way that you didn't, or maybe he didn't appreciate the fact that you have no time...... or, or, or.......
Why dwell on it.......let him be........move on...

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 10

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 11:30:27 AM

HaveRopeWillBind

Posts: 514
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

No offense to you personally, but are you actually expecting people who choose to live on an earthquake fault line to act logically? That's not logical.

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 11

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 12:26:00 PM

Owner59

Posts: 17033
Joined: 3/14/2006
From: Dirty Jersey
Status: offline

Move on.Don`t try to make sense of it.

(in reply to HaveRopeWillBind)

Post #: 12

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 12:55:22 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

not to flame, but it doesnt matter if you think shes not better....it matters if he finds her pleasing.....

better is in the eyes of the beholder.....

and it may not be better, just different......youre young, not that that is a bad thing, but some day you will learn all you can do is be you-and not worry about how you stack up to others....whether you think youre better or worse than them....

good luck.....

edited to add "and when things like this appear, it frustrates me... because we could still be dating after all this time if he wasn't so dumb... "

if hes that dumb, why do you wish you still had him?

< Message edited by SeeksOnlyOne -- 9/19/2007 12:57:44 PM >

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 13

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 1:52:23 PM

leatherette

Posts: 255
Status: offline

satyrsnymph:

Don't let it get you, please. YOU can do better.
Find someone, on your own time, who is better for you and your for him +++

Some people actually feel most comfortable with someone they feel superior to. .
A few fear intelligence as they are insecure about their own brain and/or success.
If you are considered physically attractive - could be worried you'll leave him.
Inferiority complex all around?

Or, since I don't know you, him, or her - maybe there is something great about her that he appreciates?

< Message edited by leatherette -- 9/19/2007 1:59:04 PM >

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 14

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 2:03:17 PM

worththeeffort

Posts: 105
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline

OK, i'll jump in on your side, when an ex downgrades after me, i feel almost disappointed in them lol. And yes "downgrading" and "better" are all subjective, but when you see an ex and they introduce you to their new "somebody," who looks like they've been hit in the face with a shovel, has a good 90 pounds on ya, and you find out later about their meth problem, (when the ex calls to moan that he misses her while she's doing her stint in jail for posession) and her 4 kids, from 4 dads, none of whom live with her... i'd call that a downgrade. Call me judgemental, call me a bitch, but come on, you know you'd think it too!

While i don't know your situation, and can't comment on the specifics, yes, there are some of us who have the same idea.

~kitty

(in reply to leatherette)

Post #: 15

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 2:16:57 PM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
Status: offline

woohoo.. this thread hasn't sucked as much as i thought it would...

thanks for your opinions on the subject... i appreciate it very much...

i wish i could post a picture... lol

(in reply to worththeeffort)

Post #: 16

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 2:22:31 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Maybe you weren't "needy" enough for him? If not, IMO, consider it a complement he dumped you for someone with more blatant needs he seems to think he can fill.

Do not (I repeat) do not go out and do something to screw up your life (like have a kid from a one night stand w/no father in the picture), just so some guy can then feel "heroic" and date you, (because he feels "better" than you, is basically what it seems to amount to, really).

Some guys IMO really do "need to be needed" so badly they will attempt to "rescue" someone w/all kinds of seemingly "built in stuff" they will be able to help them cope with (IMO, some gals do this plenty as well).

If the new partner starts to get their act together, then sometimes fights start, and the relationship can fall apart, because their partner is no longer "needing them enough". Maybe that is what he is doing with these women. Maybe not - maybe they are all wonderful, and have no issues he can ride in and "take charge of", from day one.

Then again, maybe they will never question his "expertise", no matter how bad his advice may be for them (if it comes to that), because they have low self-esteem, and consider themselves oh-so lucky to have him at all. And he already knows it.

Who needs that? Do you want to be GF or a "project"? I already know you sound like you probably don't (and won't) - I was just emphasizing the point. And I am also just guessing, but - this could be what is happening w/him and women, maybe.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/19/2007 2:52:12 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 17

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 2:48:09 PM

FatDomDaddy

Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

he's dated a string of animals...
first there was the cow...
then there was the mouse... with 3 kids
and now the horse....

Sound like if you gain 75-100-150lbs he'll want you

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 18

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 2:54:22 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

quote:

satyrsnymph28
Currently, my ex just got involved with a horse...

Well you made me larf even tho' I was "feeling your pain" he he he he he he he

You see, in my family.........( horse crazy women ) ditching a guy for a horse is not all that bizarre of an idea.

The women in my family all have a motto of sorts when beginning a new relationship.....NEVER say,

"It is the horse/dog/cat/etc...or me!"

In reply you will probably get a "Bu byyyeee!" as we head back out to the barn.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to seeksfemslave)

Post #: 19

RE: I don't know how to say this without feeling kinda ... - 9/19/2007 3:35:27 PM

seeksfemslave

Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

quote:

satyrsnymph28
Currently, my ex just got involved with a horse...

Well you made me larf even tho' I was "feeling your pain" he he he he he he he

You see, in my family.........( horse crazy women ) ditching a guy for a horse is not all that bizarre of an idea.
The women in my family all have a motto of sorts when beginning a new relationship.....NEVER say,
"It is the horse/dog/cat/etc...or me!"
In reply you will probably get a "Bu byyyeee!" as we head back out to the barn.

Didn't I see you on an edition of Jerry Springer lol

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 20

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