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Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 11:10:23 AM

LivingInSin

Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

So, I think I've had my first (hopefully only!) expierence with sub drop recently. Hmm cant say as I'm impressed with it either.

So here is what I was wondering.....Have you ever expierenced it? Was it a mild drop or major for you? Did you know what was going on? Did it make it easier for you to drop agian? What are some of the ways you coped?

See, I had never heard of sub drop before. I just couldn't figure out why I was depressed and not acting like myself. It really bothers me that I didn't know about this possiable "side effect".

Any thoughts y'all have on this would really help me understand it a tad more.

_____________________________

*Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom*

*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*

Post #: 1

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 12:54:23 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

I've experienced top drop and sub drop a time or two. The first time it happened, it was quite delayed - I didn't drop until weeks later. That wasn't the endorphin crash that many players have become so familiar with, that was really more the result of an experience I had kind of being a catalyst for me to rethink a lot of things, and I was experiencing quite a bit of psychological dissonance (what I believed and what I felt weren't lining up).

That particular drop took me several days of journaling and talking with my mentor until I started feeling "right" again, and I'm still learning from that experience to date. I didn't really feel "wrong" per se, but I was definitely off and not quite myself for a bit while I processed things.

Endorphin (and whatever other fun chemicals your body has been saturated with as a result of a scene, like adrenaline) crashing definitely sucks. I, personally just treat it like a bad hangover, or that "give me chocolate or die" time of the month. I allow myself to be something of a baby while I'm not feeling tip top, and I do whatever I can think of that's comforting. I curl up with a fuzzy blanky, I might indulge in a little chocolate, maybe watch a movie or call up a supportive friend.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Post #: 2

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 1:24:04 PM

maedchen

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/19/2007
Status: offline

i have never heard of it?! can you tell me? what is this supposed to be like?
THANK YOU!

(in reply to iammachine)

Post #: 3

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 1:28:15 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I have had mild cases of sub drop to severe. I know it coming and plan to be home or close to it. When the endorphin rush is gone the down feeling starts. I don't have it every time but often enough. Sometimes I am just exhausted and sometimes I get cramps and feel very down.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Post #: 4

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 1:32:39 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LivingInSin

So, I think I've had my first (hopefully only!) expierence with sub drop recently. Hmm cant say as I'm impressed with it either.

So here is what I was wondering.....Have you ever expierenced it?
Yes.
Was it a mild drop or major for you?
Ive had mild to major.
Did you know what was going on?
Not the first time, i thought i was going a little doolally.
Did it make it easier for you to drop agian?
Not easier to deal with but more easily recognisable.
What are some of the ways you coped?
I shut myself away, find it easier to deal with on my own or with Sir.b

See, I had never heard of sub drop before. I just couldn't figure out why I was depressed and not acting like myself. It really bothers me that I didn't know about this possiable "side effect".

Any thoughts y'all have on this would really help me understand it a tad more.

I wrote a bit of an essay on drop for my Sir. Dont really want to make it public but if you want to read it ill mail you it. It has all my thoughts on drop in.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Post #: 5

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 3:13:10 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Where is LA with her awsome links?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 6

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 4:47:14 PM

dragonslave77

Posts: 32
Joined: 8/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Where is LA with her awsome links?

Not LA, but I'll post some of the links she posted on my recent sub drop post:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_743958/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#744221
sub drop please help
http://www.collarchat.com/m_649399/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#649697
Coming down from the glorious heights
http://www.collarchat.com/m_522013/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#522021
sub drop, definitions, causes, cures, and prevention
http://www.collarchat.com/m_512884/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#513003
Your insight is needed please
http://www.collarchat.com/m_487853/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#488083
sub drop (2)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_460639/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#460834
regaining balance after deep subspace
http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459
sub-drop what is it?
http://www.collarchat.com/m_345419/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#345462
highs and lows
http://www.collarchat.com/m_398653/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#399164
subdrop or what?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_174958/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#174958

http://www.collarchat.com/m_166075/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#166180

http://www.collarchat.com/m_148659/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#148659

http://www.collarchat.com/m_147892/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#148507

http://www.collarchat.com/m_137374/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#137385

And the link to my post a couple weeks ago about sub drop:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1260798/tm.htm

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 7

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 5:00:22 PM

dragonslave77

Posts: 32
Joined: 8/8/2007
Status: offline

Besides some of the suggestions found in those links, I'll throw in my opinion on coping. And this is just what worked for me, YMMV.

The single most important thing is communication between myself and my Domme. Sometimes I don't need the emotional/psychological aftercare immediately after a scene/beating, but I do the next day. But, either because I was too proud or whatever, I wasn't letting Her in to give me what I needed. I have to be able to tell Her, hey I need a hug (or whatever), for Her to be able to that day after aftercare I need.

We had a day after situation recently, where I was really hurting. I didn't say anything to Her, and because of that I denied myself what I needed from Her, and what She gladly would have given me. The drop I had was pretty severe, and I easily made it worse by not saying anything. Its something She and I talked about days afterwards, and now its something we are both more sensitive to as well. Just Her knowing that, knowing that I have this drop, has made things different as well. For lack of better wording, I was more secure the next time She and I scened. I had little to no drop afterwards, but also knew this time around, I wasn't going to be too proud to ask for Her help, Her hug, if I needed it.

Again, this is just me, and what worked for me.

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Post #: 8

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 5:11:46 PM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dragonslave77

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Where is LA with her awsome links?

Not LA, but I'll post some of the links she posted on my recent sub drop post:

and I will call you LA Jr.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to dragonslave77)

Post #: 9

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 5:45:39 PM

onmykneesb4Him

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

i've had mild to severe sub drop experiences.

The first time was the worst. i was freezing cold, shaking, and emotionally lost. my Sir had no idea and neither did i because at the time i had no idea what sub drop was. He sent me to bed alone, where i just lay, feeling like i was in shock. The next few days were awful. Extreme depression that seemed to come out of the blue, along with panic at random intervals. It stopped after a few days and it really helped to talk to Him about it at length.

i've had other more mild experiences. i have a feeling they are a lot easier to deal with now because i know what they are, and i know what kind of play typically triggers them in me. And Sir is a lot more attentive after playing now that He knows how much it can affect me.

i think, just as in so many aspects of this, communication is the key. Talk about what you need to feel better or prevent it from happening. When it does happen, make sure you are taken care of.

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 10

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 6:07:57 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Thanks :) That's the 4th time subdrop has come up in the past month. Sadly, all AFTER they experienced it and didn't know how to deal. Everyone's so into doing the scene, no one ever thinks about AFTER the scene.

Oh and LA is going to be busy during the days for awhile. Everything seems to be doing pretty fine without me thus far though so I'm sure that will continue.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)

Post #: 11

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 6:30:47 PM

LivingInSin

Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I wrote a bit of an essay on drop for my Sir. Dont really want to make it public but if you want to read it ill mail you it. It has all my thoughts on drop in.

that would be greatly appreciated. thank you.

_____________________________

*Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom*

*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 12

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 6:32:59 PM

LivingInSin

Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dragonslave77

Besides some of the suggestions found in those links, I'll throw in my opinion on coping. And this is just what worked for me, YMMV.

The single most important thing is communication between myself and my Domme. Sometimes I don't need the emotional/psychological aftercare immediately after a scene/beating, but I do the next day. But, either because I was too proud or whatever, I wasn't letting Her in to give me what I needed. I have to be able to tell Her, hey I need a hug (or whatever), for Her to be able to that day after aftercare I need.

We had a day after situation recently, where I was really hurting. I didn't say anything to Her, and because of that I denied myself what I needed from Her, and what She gladly would have given me. The drop I had was pretty severe, and I easily made it worse by not saying anything. Its something She and I talked about days afterwards, and now its something we are both more sensitive to as well. Just Her knowing that, knowing that I have this drop, has made things different as well. For lack of better wording, I was more secure the next time She and I scened. I had little to no drop afterwards, but also knew this time around, I wasn't going to be too proud to ask for Her help, Her hug, if I needed it.

Again, this is just me, and what worked for me.

see the person that I've been playing with isn't mine. or me his. sooooo I dont want to be a burden to him.

_____________________________

*Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom*

*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*

(in reply to dragonslave77)

Post #: 13

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 6:34:57 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well it's not his burden at this point anyway, even if you tried to make it so. He could be nice and try and help you out- but it wasn't part of what you agreed together and he really has no serious responsibility here.

It will be YOUR responsibility from now on to let people know of possible subdrop issues and choose to play with people with that understanding. Some may be ok with it, some may not.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Post #: 14

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 6:35:18 PM

LivingInSin

Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Thanks :) That's the 4th time subdrop has come up in the past month. Sadly, all AFTER they experienced it and didn't know how to deal. Everyone's so into doing the scene, no one ever thinks about AFTER the scene.

Oh and LA is going to be busy during the days for awhile. Everything seems to be doing pretty fine without me thus far though so I'm sure that will continue.

It will be YOUR responsibility from now on to let people know of possible subdrop issues and choose to play with people with that understanding. Some may be ok with it, some may not.

i knew about aftercare, and subspace but whenever I did bring up a question of anything happing after a scene that was positive all I got told was.....why would anything go wrong?....GRRRR.

if i wasnt totally impaired when i talked to him, my understanding was just that. play is play. nothing more. so yep, i realize that it is my problem to deal with.

< Message edited by LivingInSin -- 9/18/2007 6:37:14 PM >

_____________________________

*Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom*

*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 15

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 6:55:55 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

It REALLY annoys Me when Dom/mes play with subs and DON'T pre-warn them about the possibility of sub-drop, why aftercare is important, and how and why they should be contacted if any signs and symptoms of drop occur. To Me this is blatantly irresponsible, contravenes RACK principles (how can you be risk aware if not made aware of the potential for drop and its possible impact on your life for a few days) ... and the Domly excuse that "I didn't know about drop" simply shows that they haven't done the basic research themselves and shouldn't be playing! Yep, you got it, that was a rant LOL! Mainly because time and again I have encountered traumatised subs who had no idea about this till after the event and thought they were going nuts because of it. I was a bit cross with one girl Master and I played with when she didn't tell Us till after she had recovered that she'd dropped, but at least she was aware of it beforehand, so recognised it when it happened, knew We were available for help, but made her own choice to go it alone.

I have a long Word doc which explains the biochemistry of drop as well as some other suggested readings about how it feels. If anyone is interested, you can msg Me on the other side (ie using Maam Jay), but you will have to give Me a non-collarme email addy to send it to, as CM is only set up to handle pics, not text-based docs. I can send it in other formats such as rtf if you can't read Word. This is part of My reading program for new subs that generally precedes even meeting them, but definitely precedes any play.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Post #: 16

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 7:09:56 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Something i have never asked and am not sure about
Does Sub drop have to be related to something BDSM or can it just be when a sub is feeling down and maybe depressed about something ?

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 17

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 7:24:48 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

"Sub drop" is not the same as general in the dumps or depression. Subs who get depressed are just subs who get depressed.

Sub drop is a specific response to some sort of kink related high

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 18

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 7:27:26 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

ahh OK so
my sub drop would be when i went threw a depression from my needle marks going away but not what i feel now OK cool now that that is understood ;)
Thank you

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: Sub Drop - 9/18/2007 7:31:20 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Generally, in My experience of all that I have read, people I have talked to etc, I've seen the term "sub drop" limited to the reaction that can occur as a result of the hormonal changes that occur during bdsm play or experience of some kind. It doesn't necessarily have to be a heavy scene though ... some subs space quite readily on triggers that wouldn't affect others at all. For eg, one sub I know spaces quite deeply just by kneeling at Her feet and brushing his Mistress's beautiful long hair ... to the best of My knowledge he's never dropped after such a space event, but I guess it wouldn't be impossible, especially if something negative happened while he was emerging from space.

General depression in a sub would be just that ... still very important, still needing to be addressed ... but probably not technically sub drop, less likely to self-correct in a few days, and probably needing more than the general aftercare.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 20

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