Sub Drop

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LivingInSin -> Sub Drop (9/18/2007 11:10:23 AM)
So, I think I've had my first (hopefully only!) expierence with sub drop recently. Hmm cant say as I'm impressed with it either. So here is what I was wondering.....Have you ever expierenced it? Was it a mild drop or major for you? Did you know what was going on? Did it make it easier for you to drop agian? What are some of the ways you coped? See, I had never heard of sub drop before. I just couldn't figure out why I was depressed and not acting like myself. It really bothers me that I didn't know about this possiable "side effect". Any thoughts y'all have on this would really help me understand it a tad more.

iammachine -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 12:54:23 PM)
I've experienced top drop and sub drop a time or two. The first time it happened, it was quite delayed - I didn't drop until weeks later. That wasn't the endorphin crash that many players have become so familiar with, that was really more the result of an experience I had kind of being a catalyst for me to rethink a lot of things, and I was experiencing quite a bit of psychological dissonance (what I believed and what I felt weren't lining up). That particular drop took me several days of journaling and talking with my mentor until I started feeling "right" again, and I'm still learning from that experience to date. I didn't really feel "wrong" per se, but I was definitely off and not quite myself for a bit while I processed things. Endorphin (and whatever other fun chemicals your body has been saturated with as a result of a scene, like adrenaline) crashing definitely sucks. I, personally just treat it like a bad hangover, or that "give me chocolate or die" time of the month. I allow myself to be something of a baby while I'm not feeling tip top, and I do whatever I can think of that's comforting. I curl up with a fuzzy blanky, I might indulge in a little chocolate, maybe watch a movie or call up a supportive friend.

maedchen -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 1:24:04 PM)
i have never heard of it?! can you tell me? what is this supposed to be like? THANK YOU!

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 1:28:15 PM)
I have had mild cases of sub drop to severe. I know it coming and plan to be home or close to it. When the endorphin rush is gone the down feeling starts. I don't have it every time but often enough. Sometimes I am just exhausted and sometimes I get cramps and feel very down.

missturbation -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 1:32:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LivingInSin So, I think I've had my first (hopefully only!) expierence with sub drop recently. Hmm cant say as I'm impressed with it either. So here is what I was wondering.....Have you ever expierenced it? Yes. Was it a mild drop or major for you? Ive had mild to major. Did you know what was going on? Not the first time, i thought i was going a little doolally. Did it make it easier for you to drop agian? Not easier to deal with but more easily recognisable. What are some of the ways you coped? I shut myself away, find it easier to deal with on my own or with Sir.b See, I had never heard of sub drop before. I just couldn't figure out why I was depressed and not acting like myself. It really bothers me that I didn't know about this possiable "side effect". Any thoughts y'all have on this would really help me understand it a tad more. I wrote a bit of an essay on drop for my Sir. Dont really want to make it public but if you want to read it ill mail you it. It has all my thoughts on drop in. [:D]

LaTigresse -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 3:13:10 PM)
Where is LA with her awsome links?

dragonslave77 -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 4:47:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Where is LA with her awsome links? Not LA, but I'll post some of the links she posted on my recent sub drop post: http://www.collarchat.com/m_743958/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#744221 sub drop please help http://www.collarchat.com/m_649399/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#649697 Coming down from the glorious heights http://www.collarchat.com/m_522013/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#522021 sub drop, definitions, causes, cures, and prevention http://www.collarchat.com/m_512884/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#513003 Your insight is needed please http://www.collarchat.com/m_487853/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#488083 sub drop (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_460639/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#460834 regaining balance after deep subspace http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459 sub-drop what is it? http://www.collarchat.com/m_345419/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#345462 highs and lows http://www.collarchat.com/m_398653/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#399164 subdrop or what? http://www.collarchat.com/m_174958/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#174958 http://www.collarchat.com/m_166075/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#166180 http://www.collarchat.com/m_148659/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#148659 http://www.collarchat.com/m_147892/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#148507 http://www.collarchat.com/m_137374/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#137385 And the link to my post a couple weeks ago about sub drop: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1260798/tm.htm

dragonslave77 -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 5:00:22 PM)
Besides some of the suggestions found in those links, I'll throw in my opinion on coping. And this is just what worked for me, YMMV. The single most important thing is communication between myself and my Domme. Sometimes I don't need the emotional/psychological aftercare immediately after a scene/beating, but I do the next day. But, either because I was too proud or whatever, I wasn't letting Her in to give me what I needed. I have to be able to tell Her, hey I need a hug (or whatever), for Her to be able to that day after aftercare I need. We had a day after situation recently, where I was really hurting. I didn't say anything to Her, and because of that I denied myself what I needed from Her, and what She gladly would have given me. The drop I had was pretty severe, and I easily made it worse by not saying anything. Its something She and I talked about days afterwards, and now its something we are both more sensitive to as well. Just Her knowing that, knowing that I have this drop, has made things different as well. For lack of better wording, I was more secure the next time She and I scened. I had little to no drop afterwards, but also knew this time around, I wasn't going to be too proud to ask for Her help, Her hug, if I needed it. Again, this is just me, and what worked for me.

Phin -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 5:11:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dragonslave77 quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Where is LA with her awsome links? Not LA, but I'll post some of the links she posted on my recent sub drop post: and I will call you LA Jr.[:D]

onmykneesb4Him -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 5:45:39 PM)
i've had mild to severe sub drop experiences. The first time was the worst. i was freezing cold, shaking, and emotionally lost. my Sir had no idea and neither did i because at the time i had no idea what sub drop was. He sent me to bed alone, where i just lay, feeling like i was in shock. The next few days were awful. Extreme depression that seemed to come out of the blue, along with panic at random intervals. It stopped after a few days and it really helped to talk to Him about it at length. i've had other more mild experiences. i have a feeling they are a lot easier to deal with now because i know what they are, and i know what kind of play typically triggers them in me. And Sir is a lot more attentive after playing now that He knows how much it can affect me. i think, just as in so many aspects of this, communication is the key. Talk about what you need to feel better or prevent it from happening. When it does happen, make sure you are taken care of.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 6:07:57 PM)
Thanks :) That's the 4th time subdrop has come up in the past month. Sadly, all AFTER they experienced it and didn't know how to deal. Everyone's so into doing the scene, no one ever thinks about AFTER the scene. Oh and LA is going to be busy during the days for awhile. Everything seems to be doing pretty fine without me thus far though so I'm sure that will continue.

LivingInSin -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 6:30:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation I wrote a bit of an essay on drop for my Sir. Dont really want to make it public but if you want to read it ill mail you it. It has all my thoughts on drop in. [:D] that would be greatly appreciated. thank you.

LivingInSin -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 6:32:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dragonslave77 Besides some of the suggestions found in those links, I'll throw in my opinion on coping. And this is just what worked for me, YMMV. The single most important thing is communication between myself and my Domme. Sometimes I don't need the emotional/psychological aftercare immediately after a scene/beating, but I do the next day. But, either because I was too proud or whatever, I wasn't letting Her in to give me what I needed. I have to be able to tell Her, hey I need a hug (or whatever), for Her to be able to that day after aftercare I need. We had a day after situation recently, where I was really hurting. I didn't say anything to Her, and because of that I denied myself what I needed from Her, and what She gladly would have given me. The drop I had was pretty severe, and I easily made it worse by not saying anything. Its something She and I talked about days afterwards, and now its something we are both more sensitive to as well. Just Her knowing that, knowing that I have this drop, has made things different as well. For lack of better wording, I was more secure the next time She and I scened. I had little to no drop afterwards, but also knew this time around, I wasn't going to be too proud to ask for Her help, Her hug, if I needed it. Again, this is just me, and what worked for me. see the person that I've been playing with isn't mine. or me his. sooooo I dont want to be a burden to him.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 6:34:57 PM)
Well it's not his burden at this point anyway, even if you tried to make it so. He could be nice and try and help you out- but it wasn't part of what you agreed together and he really has no serious responsibility here. It will be YOUR responsibility from now on to let people know of possible subdrop issues and choose to play with people with that understanding. Some may be ok with it, some may not.

LivingInSin -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 6:35:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Thanks :) That's the 4th time subdrop has come up in the past month. Sadly, all AFTER they experienced it and didn't know how to deal. Everyone's so into doing the scene, no one ever thinks about AFTER the scene. Oh and LA is going to be busy during the days for awhile. Everything seems to be doing pretty fine without me thus far though so I'm sure that will continue. It will be YOUR responsibility from now on to let people know of possible subdrop issues and choose to play with people with that understanding. Some may be ok with it, some may not. i knew about aftercare, and subspace but whenever I did bring up a question of anything happing after a scene that was positive all I got told was.....why would anything go wrong?....GRRRR. if i wasnt totally impaired when i talked to him, my understanding was just that. play is play. nothing more. so yep, i realize that it is my problem to deal with.

MaamJay -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 6:55:55 PM)
It REALLY annoys Me when Dom/mes play with subs and DON'T pre-warn them about the possibility of sub-drop, why aftercare is important, and how and why they should be contacted if any signs and symptoms of drop occur. To Me this is blatantly irresponsible, contravenes RACK principles (how can you be risk aware if not made aware of the potential for drop and its possible impact on your life for a few days) ... and the Domly excuse that "I didn't know about drop" simply shows that they haven't done the basic research themselves and shouldn't be playing! Yep, you got it, that was a rant LOL! Mainly because time and again I have encountered traumatised subs who had no idea about this till after the event and thought they were going nuts because of it. I was a bit cross with one girl Master and I played with when she didn't tell Us till after she had recovered that she'd dropped, but at least she was aware of it beforehand, so recognised it when it happened, knew We were available for help, but made her own choice to go it alone. I have a long Word doc which explains the biochemistry of drop as well as some other suggested readings about how it feels. If anyone is interested, you can msg Me on the other side (ie using Maam Jay), but you will have to give Me a non-collarme email addy to send it to, as CM is only set up to handle pics, not text-based docs. I can send it in other formats such as rtf if you can't read Word. This is part of My reading program for new subs that generally precedes even meeting them, but definitely precedes any play. Maam Jay aka violet[A]

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 7:09:56 PM)
Something i have never asked and am not sure about Does Sub drop have to be related to something BDSM or can it just be when a sub is feeling down and maybe depressed about something ?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 7:24:48 PM)
"Sub drop" is not the same as general in the dumps or depression. Subs who get depressed are just subs who get depressed. Sub drop is a specific response to some sort of kink related high

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 7:27:26 PM)
ahh OK so my sub drop would be when i went threw a depression from my needle marks going away but not what i feel now OK cool now that that is understood ;) Thank you

MaamJay -> RE: Sub Drop (9/18/2007 7:31:20 PM)
Generally, in My experience of all that I have read, people I have talked to etc, I've seen the term "sub drop" limited to the reaction that can occur as a result of the hormonal changes that occur during bdsm play or experience of some kind. It doesn't necessarily have to be a heavy scene though ... some subs space quite readily on triggers that wouldn't affect others at all. For eg, one sub I know spaces quite deeply just by kneeling at Her feet and brushing his Mistress's beautiful long hair ... to the best of My knowledge he's never dropped after such a space event, but I guess it wouldn't be impossible, especially if something negative happened while he was emerging from space. General depression in a sub would be just that ... still very important, still needing to be addressed ... but probably not technically sub drop, less likely to self-correct in a few days, and probably needing more than the general aftercare. Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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