Kelika
Posts: 56
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Cincinnati
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: came4U
A woman should have her own esteem and betterment of judgement intact.
Honestly, if a guy is the only ensurance for a gal's self-esteem and betterment via her submission is it truly submission or him doing something that her parents and community should have done?
If a man chooses such a woman who is that weak in her own mental reserves and she is in need of mentorship that is of life-strategy tactics, isn't he manipulating an idiot? Isn't this the job of her friends, family and communitity and THEN she can come forward as a submissive out of need, not out of necessity by being a weaker individual? What kind of man chooses a weaker person? A weaker man.
This is hard for me to swallow also for this reason; there are a -ton- of people that come to this lifestyle having not understood that they were submissive and longed for this type of relationship but instead came from an abusive relationship.
Also, there were some life skills I didn't have until I came into the lifestyle and I had a guide/mentor. I had come from a place where personally, I was in a relationshp from the time of 18-30 with the same person. Hell, someone that guided/mentored me helped me learn how to date as an adult...*chuckles*.
Not to mention, self esteem -should- be something that your parents teach you but that isn't always the case and was NOT with me. I'm not going to go into details, but both of my parents were abusive. What my guides/mentors did in the beginning was keep me safe as possible from those that would do me harm. I think it's important to say I didn't come to this lifestyle out of lack of self esteem though, but something I had in me but didn't know what it was when I was as young as 14.
I get the impression that to mentor/guide someone means you would take advantage of them from what you said. Hell, despite my best efforts one of my mentors has never done anything with me sexually or bdsm wise...lol. That was not the role he took and over the last 2 years 1/2 years he never breached certain things. He simply tried to help me become a better woman.
If you don't have good people out there mentoring people, then those that do have issues when they come to this lifestyle are going to be eaten alive by people claiming to be dominant when in fact they are not. I see nothing wrong with a mentor/guide choosing to do help. That doesn't make them weaker at all. I think it makes them a good, caring, kind, honorable person (if they don't take advantage of it) who see something of value in that person and don't want them taken advantage of.
But that's just me....
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I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~ Anais Nin
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RE: Is mastering yourself only something for Dominants? - 
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