The difference between play, and doing a scene: (Full Version)

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MasterShibari -> The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 12:48:11 PM)

Hello everyone, this is my first post, which I guess makes me a CM forums virgin so, be gentle.  –laughs-

I was having a discussion with a sub that I met through this site, and she asked me what I thought the difference between “play” and doing a “scene” was.  To me the answer was simple, play is spontaneous, something that simply occurs between two people who have a deep understanding of each other’s natures, their wants, needs, and limits. 

A scene, on the other hand, is something that must be negotiated or contracted out.  However, that is not to say those who can play with each other do not scene as well.  Under this definition, sceening would be an excellent way for two people who play together to introduce something new.

However, I quickly realized that this was MY definition of play, and MY definition of doing a scene.  I would like to hear other’s points of view on this matter.  I am particularly interested in what any of the old leather guard community have to say on the subject.
M. Shibari



toservez -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 1:06:28 PM)

Welcome to the boards and I must say I enjoyed how you thought about and wrote this post.

I tend to agree with your personal definition. My opinion is play is more spontaneous and mostly if not always for pure pleasure while a scene is more planned and might have more going on then just pleasure. I would though for my own definition take out negotiation but I am out of the casual/local community life.

I also think there is an element of many who just hate the word “scene” and just look for different way to express it. ;)



earthycouple -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 1:08:48 PM)

what you define as "play" I define as "life as I know it"

I don't negotiate every time that begs the contents of my toy bag to be splayed across the room.  I negotiate as needed with my victim.  Typically he's someone I know well enough that negotions are not necessary.  That's not to say I'm not fluid or allow fluidity...as we all change but if I negotiated everytime I pulled out my rope bag, I'd never get around to the gagging part *S*



hidngft -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 1:13:36 PM)

you always do have something very interesting to say  and you always get me thinking
and funny thing it is was helpful to me an i hadnt even asked the question
j~




MasterShibari -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 1:13:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

My opinion is play is more spontaneous and mostly if not always for pure pleasure while a scene is more planned and might have more going on then just pleasure.


Ooh, I like that.  And thank you for the kind welcome.



xoxi -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 1:20:50 PM)

Play for me is perpetual when I'm in a relationship.  It's when he smacks my butt when I'm making dinner, or when he opens the door for me but won't let me in until I give him a kiss, or when he grabs a fist full of my hair and takes me to the bedroom and.....yeah.  That.

A scene is something that starts at a certain point and stops at a certain point, and is discussed beforehand.  Just to illustrate the difference I would say the difference between rape play and a rape scene is that in rape play, he initiates sex, I fight back, and he makes me do what he wants.  In a rape scene, we coordinate a specific idea of what we want to happen, where it should happen, if we're going to play any 'roles' like kidnapper/victim or burgler/sleeping person (and I have ALWAYS wanted to be the burgler who gets caught and punished lol) and then we either set a specific time for it to happen, or give a general idea to keep the element of surprise.

A scene could also be used to define public play, as in putting on a 'scene' for an 'audience.' and I know plenty of people who use it that way as well.



MasterShibari -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 1:34:31 PM)

I agree with you compeltely xoxi.

I also like the part about scenes being something done in public.



chellekitty -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 1:38:36 PM)

i don't use either word...either i refer to the impliment that was used...ie i was whipped or flogged or cut or the like or if it was lots of impact "play" i say i was beat on...or something like that...freaks some people out but i explain it to them if it does....



Mercnbeth -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 1:40:32 PM)

Amazing - as beth and I lay panting (hey - I'm 51!) last night I asked her; "did we just 'scene', 'play', have sex? Maybe you can tell us.

We were watching the Yankees win again (GREAT because on the west coast it was still not yet 8:00), beth kneeling naked at my feet after just completing my weekly manicure. As a reward, I told her to get up on all fours and began spanking her. I liked the shade of pink her ass was turning but wanted to to increase the sensation so I reached for my small slapper and miniature crop I keep in my nightstand. Being in a good mood with the Yankee victory, and a generous giving Master in general, I allowed beth to periodically hump my leg during the process and gave her permission to cum a few times. After some length of time my pet's ass went from a pink 'medium rare' shade to a more red 'raw' and I got to thinking that there is nothing like a nice hot ass against your balls when you fuck from behind. I had her lay over the bed and enjoyed the ride, getting sadistic enjoyment of now NOT allowing her to cum during the process of sex and ongoing periodic spanking to keep the seat warm.

After some time of that going on, I realized I hadn't relieved myself since about the 6th inning and needed to take care of that. I had her crawl to our tub and beg for permission to "flush" which is how I refer to cumming when using my pet as a toilet. Once relieved she sought to serve as Master's cum receptacle, and again being the generous Master - I fulfilled her desire. 

So what was it, play, scene, or just another Wednesday night at 'Merc & beth's'?



MasterShibari -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 1:54:33 PM)

According to my definition, that was play.

According to what you seem to be implying, that wasjust another Wednesday night.  -grins-

Hope that helps.



MaamJay -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 2:21:33 PM)

I'll add to the welcomes, and say nicely thought out question too!

For Me, the 2 words are a bit intertwined. Like some others here I would definitely call it "play" when it's spontaneous, and that could be anything from Master doing silly walks up the travelator in the shopping mall ... to a quick spanking in bed ... to Him feeling me up with His foot in the lounge room in front of My sub! And a whole lot of other possibilities in between. [:)] Living with a Master Happy Nut makes life VERY playful ... and wonderful for it.

I would tend to call it a "scene" (though I tend to use "play session" in preference) when it's more formalised play, often prearranged timewise (as in "I'm planning on going down to the shed (Our Dungeon or play space) for a play session with My sub this afternoon Master, is that OK?"), and more thought out in terms of what types of play (there's that word again) will be done and how the transitions from one to another might go. It would also be used to refer to a series of play activities at a play party. So when I boil it all down, for Me a scene simply becomes a more organised sequence of specific play activities.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 2:23:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

So what was it, play, scene, or just another Wednesday night at 'Merc & beth's'?


Quoting less for brevity...
 
I so enjoyed reading that!  
 *laffing as I sign off*



RumpusParable -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 2:26:47 PM)

I generally agree with the OP but differ in the matter of a scene necessarily being a negotiated thing.  It often is, but I'd not call that a definer...

Rather, personally, I'd say that "play" is the physical or mental interactions that cause a response related to the dynamic between the people and may occur spontaneously or within a scene.

I'd say a "scene" was just a set timespan of "play".  A bit of time when attention is focused on "play" of some sort, rather than the "play" occuring around and during other activities.

As a loose summary:  A "scene" is time mainly focused on "play", but "play" can and does happen outside of "scenes".



BitaTruble -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 2:28:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

So what was it, play, scene, or just another Wednesday night at 'Merc & beth's'?


This just goes to show how very different everyone is in what it is that they do.

At our house, that would be a typical Thursday. [8D]

Celeste



Mercnbeth -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 2:40:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
So what was it, play, scene, or just another Wednesday night at 'Merc & beth's'?


Quoting less for brevity...
 
I so enjoyed reading that!  
 *laffing as I sign off*

Dusty,
You should have heard us! That was a true story. For some reason, as we lay there together, literally between panting, that was the silly thought going through my mind as I tried to work up the energy to move again. The posting of a need to label and/or absolutely define what we do to some kind of standard has always been silly to me and for whatever reason, this, pretty much spontaneous display of 'whatever', seemed to represent a opportunity to express a silly thought to that point. Never one to keep a silly thought to myself - I just had to ask beth the exact question I posed.

Now laughing and panting she answered; "I don't know what anyone else would call it, but I'd call it 'GREAT!'

Can't wait to see what Thursday night brings...

Edited to add:
quote:

At our house, that would be a typical Thursday. [8D]
[sm=biggrin.gif][sm=lol.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=applause.gif]



adoracat -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 2:47:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

what you define as "play" I define as "life as I know it"

I don't negotiate every time that begs the contents of my toy bag to be splayed across the room.  I negotiate as needed with my victim.  Typically he's someone I know well enough that negotions are not necessary.  That's not to say I'm not fluid or allow fluidity...as we all change but if I negotiated everytime I pulled out my rope bag, I'd never get around to the gagging part *S*


all true...but as you say, you know your victim, and things have been discussed at some point in the relationship (of whatever type it is). 

the scenes Sir and i have done, have been "this is what I am going to do to you,, lil one" because he knows i need the mental preparation.  but he doesnt negotiate every last bit of what he's going to do, because he knows me.

oh, and i'd like to note that you look lovely in the new pic!!

kitten, smiling



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 3:15:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

So what was it, play, scene, or just another Wednesday night at 'Merc & beth's'?


I'll take "just another Wednesday at Merc and beth's for $500 Alex.."[sm=smile.gif]



satyrsnymph28 -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 3:51:53 PM)

Thanks for bringing my question to the board, MasterShibari. 

I guess I could have asked here too, but its doubtful it would have sounded as good as you were able to phrase it. 


I don't agree with the concept of a scene being something you do in public because my most memorable scene was done in the privacy of the Top's apartment. 

So, that part of the defnintion doesn't work for everyone. 

I'm willing to bet, as we discussed, that its different for everyone.

I think that even within a scene, its always play... but play is not always a scene... and neither is exclusive to public or private. 

Just my two cents. 

Nymph



iammachine -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 5:12:03 PM)

Welcome to the boards.

My personal definitions of play vs a scene are rather similar to yours. Play is more spontaneous, with fairly loose guidelines. Play  for the sake of play itself, with no clear end  goal, other than obvious enjoyment of play. [:)] I have and do tend to negotiate on the fly, but this is probably more due to the casual nature of some of my play partners.

It is entirely possible that I may have impromptu play at a party, or at a [leather] bar night with someone that I do not or have not played with on a regular basis (or prior). Since I may not instinctively know where my bottom's limits are, and what might make the experience better overall - I'm probably talking and otherwise verbally checking in with them while I'm getting whatever I need together, and as needed while whatever we agreed to be doing is actually happening (flogging, fun with ropes, paying extra attention to my boots, whatev). This may blur the line a little between straight up play and a scene, but the reason for it is clear.

A scene, of course, probably has had a little more formal negotiation, and more of an outline and end goal in mind. Not necessarily scripted, but with some sort of loose plan in mind.



TNstepsout -> RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: (9/13/2007 5:24:34 PM)

Hmmm I had a very definition of "play" in mind. Since the term "play partner" is used so often, I always thought of "play" in lifestyle terms as meaning a simple form of BDSM interaction. Somewhat like getting a massage from a friend. I thought of a scene as being much more elaborate and generally having a D/s component to it that "play" might not have.

Although now that I see that most people think of the terms quite differently, if someone asks me if I want to play, I better ask what they mean. *g*



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