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RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 9:45:33 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

 Come at me with eye-rolling, shoulder-shrugging, a big mouth, and poor attitude, then you still have the right of your desires, but don't expect me to see you as a submissive.
 




<stamps foot>


*arches eyebrow*
 


_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 10:16:50 AM   
OldFashionedGirl


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think it's bratty to have a certain type of person in mind when you are searching.  It's just a preference,everyone has them....I got told once because I said I prefer guys around my age instead of 15 years younger that I was 'ageist'.   Even when looking for a vanilla mate, you have preferences, just because you are a submissive or slave doesn't mean you give up your opinions....just the way they are voiced! 
 
Dina


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 10:20:52 AM   
teamnoir


Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline 		Sounds to me like a thinly veiled attempt to control through manipulation. They don't like either your requirements or your response and so attack it.

I dunno. I see something similar come the other direction. Actually, any time someone suggests that there's a "real" or "true" way that someone should be. Most of the time I think it just means that one person doesn't fit into another person's fantasy.

(in reply to Kelika)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 10:22:00 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

kdsub
 
its interesting you say this [Now think of this… a girl of average looks has no problem finding men, in fact they can be very choosey. That is not the case for the average man. ]   because from my perspective ( being woman and a submissive )  I feel its just the opposite......my point being> it is about perspective ...and even how we perceive the others perspective at times.......dang that made my head hurt.
 
 
Hi Cyndi

Yes we are all islands in the big universe… the only thing that is truly real is our perspective… whether it is true or not makes no difference.
Our comments say more about ourselves then people in general I suspect.

Butch
 
 

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 11:12:54 AM   
Kelika


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Cincinnati
Status: offline 		feastie, thank you for the constructive criticism.  What’s funny is I do try to be very careful with my word selection as I know that in a forum like this, all we have are our words.  There is no body language or inflection of tone that you can put (at least easily) in this type of situation.


  I do suppose that someone who makes more money or is more fit could be seen as me masking what it is I am looking for, but as I said before, it’s more about confidence than anything else.  It’s a difficult fine line in being confident with yourself and seeming to come off as egotistical.  I did read my profile to a man that I trust and value his opinions and he thought there was nothing wrong with it and agreed on the money thing. 


I’ve also put in a LOT of hard work on myself as I mentioned into being healthier.  It is not easy and I want my dominant and I to share that desire together…to be healthy. 


Thank you all again for the wonderful comments thus far…*smiles*. 

_____________________________

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~ Anais Nin

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 12:09:33 PM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		Butch.......  [Our comments say more about ourselves then people in general I suspect]
 
 
soft smile
agreed
btw ..thanks for responding

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 12:17:24 PM   
LostMyself


Posts: 72
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		um, picking someone you get into a relationship by learning about them and wether or not you like them is bratty?  That makes most of the planet brats.  especially a dom who you're going to respect and trust with everything.. be super-picky!

(in reply to Kelika)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 1:46:36 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

 Come at me with eye-rolling, shoulder-shrugging, a big mouth, and poor attitude, then you still have the right of your desires, but don't expect me to see you as a submissive.
 




<stamps foot>


*arches eyebrow*
 



<lowers eyes>

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 2:30:50 PM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		W. regards to the money thing, I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask for someone who is financially independent.  To want someone with *more* money than you...

...well, speaking as someone who makes a decent living, that's the sort of thing that would give me serious doubts.  But I guess those who are in search of dependent slaves would see it as a plus?


_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to Kelika)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 4:01:56 PM   
jaxnsax


Posts: 106
Status: offline
Greetings kelika
I am often told, from the Dominants at munches, that I am much the same way. I have a specific standard that I refuse to compromise on; often I am told that such an attitude is unbecoming in a submissive or slave. There are some though, who will tell me not to compromise; to stick to what it is that I want and need no matter what others may say about it.
I have found that keeping to my own standards has allowed me the privilege of meeting and interacting with some absolutely wonderful Dominants; one’s who take pride in another who can hold their own stand.
May you find good humor and health on this day
jaxon

(in reply to Kelika)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 4:02:57 PM   
Kelika


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Cincinnati
Status: offline 		Out of curiousity Total, why do you see it as something that would create doubts?

I explained -why- I wanted someone who made more money, for the benefit that it created problems when I made more in my last relationship.  Do you think if your slave made more than you do that you would feel that you are able to take care of her or would you feel, honestly, like it possible -could- make you feel a little bit insecure...or that she doesn't "need" you as much?

I read Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus and they said that men need to feel "needed" (but without neediness) and that women need to feel "wanted". 

Thank you in advnace for your reply!
Kelika


_____________________________

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~ Anais Nin

(in reply to TotalState)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 4:08:07 PM   
Kelika


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Cincinnati
Status: offline 		jaxnsax,

It's been much the same of the men in my life that know I will be a great slave.  They tell me to make myself so strong that no weak man will ever think of owning me.  Of course, some of them also believe that a woman cannot be a real slave if she -has- to work...to them it's a partnership and not slavery if he depends on her income.  Before anyone jumps down my throat on that, it is what -they- believe.  They simply see it as a Dom/sub situation and not M/s if he needs to rely on anything she has to give. 




_____________________________

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~ Anais Nin

(in reply to jaxnsax)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 4:09:39 PM   
MellowSir


Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		Well, having to have "more" money than you shouldn't be an absolute(unless he's a bigot, and thinks men should make more than women), so long as he keeps a roof over his own head lol. As far as fitness goes, well of course, how could he keep up with you otherwise(and vice-versa, fair is fair). And as far as pictures go,  he should have a few of himself, and not just pecker shots lol. Tho if he expresses curiousity as to how you appear nude too, then it'd also be fair trade, quid pro quo sweetie.    p.s.also a very nice black and blue dress :) 

< Message edited by MellowSir -- 9/9/2007 4:23:45 PM >

(in reply to Kelika)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 4:26:20 PM   
ArgoGeorgia


Posts: 256
Joined: 2/9/2007
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline 		From what I've seen of some "Dominants", and I use that term loosely, I think there are quite a few who lack confidence, maybe don't have a lot to offer, and so they wear the mantle of "Dom" with the thought that they are now in control and any sub, no matter their age, intelligence, experience, beauty or standards should now respect them and kneel before them.  It's as if they feel the title is all it takes to overcome all of their shortcomings.  Which, unfortunately, seems to be way too many.  But, I guess they do have their place, and that's to take what I call 'silly subs' out of the picture.  Silly subs are the ones who grovel at anyone's feet, offers submission to anyone and everyone ("Oh thank you, Sir!  I want the #2 Combo with a diet coke, if it pleases you Sir!"), and don't have a thought in their little head without it being given to them.  Some Dom's may like that, but I like a little something upstairs.  So, if the silly Dom's and silly sub's cancel each other out, maybe it helps to increase the quality for the rest of us!

_____________________________

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. No, seriously. They have t-shirts for everything nowadays.

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 4:34:32 PM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

 Come at me with eye-rolling, shoulder-shrugging, a big mouth, and poor attitude, then you still have the right of your desires, but don't expect me to see you as a submissive.
 




<stamps foot>


*arches eyebrow*
 



<lowers eyes>


you two are turning me on...gigglin

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 5:06:42 PM   
Kelika


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Cincinnati
Status: offline 		As a side note, a Dominant man who knows me here locally and I were talking about this and he mentioned the reason why he suspected I also have the "financial" thing.  Once he said it to me, because of some past experiences, it also made a lot of sense.  Since he's known me for about three years, I gather to say he sees things in me that I don't see in myself sometimes.  He said to me that my level and devotion to slavery would mean if I became someone's slave, I would turn over all financial responsibility like I did in my relationship before and I got burned pretty bad.

As anyone who knows about slavery knows...you don't get to choose how your money is spent, and probably I have a fear that someone might take advantage of me financially.  I take complete responsibility for my poor choices before in regards to my ex on this as I was not a slave...but as a slave, where would these lines be drawn? 

What responsibility does a slave have to make sure their finances are being used wisely because as a slave you don't own anything?  He believes because of my past experience I want to make sure that he doesn't want me or need me for my finances, but instead wants me for me.  I had to tip my head on that one.


_____________________________

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~ Anais Nin

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 5:13:50 PM   
MellowSir


Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		Well, chances are pretty good that if he's supported himself, alone, then it's not money he wants. And someone poor that still has good character, good friends and family and isn't co-dependant can be just as worthy or more so than a man with so many riches that he doesn't know who his true friends are, or places himself above others because he has more material things, as the saying goes, "A rich man has less of a chance at heaven than a camel has of fitting thru the eye of a needle".....

< Message edited by MellowSir -- 9/9/2007 5:14:24 PM >

(in reply to Kelika)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 5:25:25 PM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		I'd personally be worried that I was being scammed for money in some way.

But I'd like to make it absolutely clear that I'm not in a master-slave relationship.  Me and my partner are equal outside of scene related things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kelika

Out of curiousity Total, why do you see it as something that would create doubts?


_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to Kelika)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 6:40:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kelika
As anyone who knows about slavery knows...you don't get to choose how your money is spent, and probably I have a fear that someone might take advantage of me financially.

Um what?  I know plenty of slaves whose master ORDERS them to be in charge of the finances in the relationship, asks the slaves what is in the accounts and what needs to be paid and checks before taking money out.

And plenty of slaves whose masters want them to maintain their own finances and bills separately.

Now no, that's not the same as them getting to choose how they handle their money- they still have to act under the authority of someone else.

But that authority does NOT necessarily mean they have no control or choices.

quote:

What responsibility does a slave have to make sure their finances are being used wisely because as a slave you don't own anything? 

Now owning something isn't the same as not taking care of something. 

Your responsibility is to choose someone who IS responsible and will know best (or do their best to know what's best) on how to handle things- whether that's keeping things separate, having you handle them, having them handle them, or something completely different.  You have to go with what works for you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Kelika)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self ... - 9/9/2007 6:42:29 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

 Come at me with eye-rolling, shoulder-shrugging, a big mouth, and poor attitude, then you still have the right of your desires, but don't expect me to see you as a submissive.
 




<stamps foot>


*arches eyebrow*
 



<lowers eyes>


you two are turning me on...gigglin


*smiles*

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 60
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