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ownedgirlie -> RE: Master needs Vs subs Needs (9/2/2007 2:29:32 PM)
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Master decides what needs will be met and for whom. I trust his decisions and I follow and obey them, in all cases. Yes, I do put Master's needs above mine, unless he instructs me otherwise. In other words, I think of his needs first and foremost and that is what I aim for. If I am unsure, I ask. If I am off course, he redirects me.
There are times he has put my needs over his. There are times he puts my wants over his. There are times he puts my needs over his wants. It really depends on the situation and what he thinks is best.
As for your examples:
The first example about the 2nd girl would not work for us, since we do not live together and money is not an issue with him. I do know that he has always made it clear he is not monogamous, and for more than half of my relationship to him, I had emotional issues I needed to overcome about that, even though I accepted it from the start. He said he would shelter me from it so that I would not need to obsess about it. He said depending on how he felt I would handle it, he would either share his other relationships with me or not. His preference was to include me. But he set that aside until I could handle it.
As for the mother's death. Well my Master had priorities he needed to attend to when my father died. He did not need to be physically with me to "be there for me." We were on the phone constantly. We talked on webcam so I could see his face and hear his voice. I felt him. I felt his love. He was with me every step of the way. He set his desire for my service aside and instructed me to take care of my Dad when he was getting sicker and sicker. He put all my assignments on hold after Dad died until I was strong enough to do them again. He chose not to have me miss a critically important part of my life (my relationship with my Dad was beautiful). His desire to have an emotionally healthy and stable slave overwrote his desire to be tended to at that particular time.
He wants to have me move closer to him or even perhaps with him. But he felt it more important for me to be close to my parents - to help my Mom care for Dad when he was dying, and then to take care of my Mom afterward, until she got on her feet. It's only been a year and she's not quite there yet.
In my case, I don't get to decide how things get prioritized. In most cases, he comes first. But as you can see from my answers to your examples, in some cases he puts my needs first, which ultimately makes for a healthier slave and consequently a happier Master. So in that way, I guess he is still putting his desires/needs first, because ultimately he wants a healthy and stable slave who can give him her best.
But there is no "always." And yes, if I were bleeding on the floor and he said "spread 'em" I would spread 'em. Less than a week after surgery he wanted just that, and that is exactly what I did. And I was grateful for it, because I really needed him to!
And yes, in my case ALL of your questions would differ for me greatly if I were in a vanilla relationship. It would be night and day for me. I do not submit in a vanilla relationship.
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