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Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 8:43:25 AM   
DustyPaddle


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline
I rarely login to my account at CollarMe.com.  I just don't have the time.  But when I do, I invariably come across comments to a profile submitted by a sub and/or slave that has been mistreated by some rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate bast#@& that identifies as Dom and/or Master.

As a rule they (the D/M) are pissed because some poor sub/slave has not taken the time to respond to a message sent through CollarMe.com.  So ........... They send another message wherein they rant to no end about how un-submissive like or un-slave like it was for the sub/slave not to respond.  At times they even post comments to their profile about "what a bitch" so-and-so sub/slave is because they did not reply to a message.  (or they replied and expressed no interest in meeting)

Here's the thing guys and gals (that identify as M and/or D) ........  You don't own this person.  They have a right to correspond with whomever they choose to correspond with.  Conversely....  They also have the right NOT to correspond with whomever they choose.

As for me....... I have asked that the sub/slave gals that I correspond with NOT to defer to me in anyway whatsoever just because I identify as D/M.  It makes me feel damned uncomfortable to be addressed as Sir (or whatever) by a sub/slave that does not wear my collar.  I try hard to treat these people with the same respect that I expect from a stranger and/or new acquaintance.

Whenever I hear of an instance where a sub/slave has been disrespected it makes me (almost) ashamed to call myself Master or Dominant.

So... for those of you that are in the habit of disrespecting sub/slaves....  Please rethink that whole process.  Please make an effort to understand why you have that particular propensity.  If you do, hopefully, you will come to realize that just because someone identifies as sub/slave does NOT mean that they should be subjected to your abuse.

For what it's worth,
DustyPaddle
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 8:46:14 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Well meant, think it will do any good?

(in reply to DustyPaddle)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 9:25:40 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Probably well meant and I give you the benefit of the doubt in your post but in all honestly we see people come over from the other side and post these types of things on a very frequent basis that their main goal is to build themselves up by tearing others down so when some one looks at them on the personal side.

It is easy to get an impression that there are a lot of dominants that are rude jerks and submissives are fakes from the words written on the other side of collarme but what you have written here few if any would argue how a dominant should act and therefore when this stuff gets entered over here is tends to look less about someone making an effort to contribute on a message board and more about someone laying the groundwork of their own superiority to people you have never met. For example, the fact you rarely log in because you are so busy type comment.

You come off as intelligent and I encourage you if you want to communicate with other about this life to find some time and to contribute topics and replies to other people’s threads to show what you are really about.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Rude Dom's & Masters - 9/1/2007 9:25:41 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		this is true most people with sarcastic wit are rude people and the people that find them funny are too.. they always make fun at the expense of others. i think there is something lacking in them. maybe  they need medication ..it is not a great thing to make fun of another's misfortunes or iwhen they speak their thoughts. to do such acts is a weakness.. but the world always deals with them in one way or another 

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Rude Dom's & Masters - 9/1/2007 9:37:58 AM   
mefisto69


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/19/2007
Status: offline 		my personal sense of humor is sardonic/sarcastic/triple entendre. i don't make it a practice to attack people on the boards, i don't reply often - especially not to 'up' my post count. if i find someone interesting enough to e-mail and they don't respond, i don't take it personally by sending insulting comments....i'm a grown man.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 10:02:04 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

As for me....... I have asked that the sub/slave gals that I correspond with NOT to defer to me in anyway whatsoever just because I identify as D/M. 
   I like this quote.   The actions of another unknown indiviual should not cause personal shame, it's sort of like feeling ashamed to be an American (although sometimes I can identify with that).    Nice post.  

(in reply to DustyPaddle)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 10:25:54 AM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		I can appreciate your post, I've received a few of those communications.
I'm not sure how much good it will do however.  Many who send those rude messages can not be bothered to even read a profile let alone a thread on a message board.

_____________________________

My mistakes are neither pretty nor little.

(in reply to DustyPaddle)
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RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 10:54:13 AM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		this is a topic that seems to be coming up a lot as of late,, there seems to be many a D/M who claim to be and are really nothing but acting and make it hard on those of us whom respect what the life is about ,, there is some sense of Etiquette ,, at least on my part,, and i know on the part of those whom are that honorable,, but they are far and few between ,, as for me ,, if one wants to call me Sir out of respect that is fine,, and understandable to me anyway,, as for the D/M who jsut come out and treat ppl they dont know lik SHIT ,, well Karma comes around,, and who knows they may be the ones whom never find what they are looking for for that reason,, and if they do ind what they are looking for ,,hopefully they didn't hurt the chances of  a sub/slave in their search,, i have seen it happen before,, when one adreeses a sub/slave in a dirogitroy manner and tehn turns the Vin, off of the life totaly for good,,
but then what do they care ,, they got their jolly off ,,,
nuff for the rant\\\\


MM

_____________________________

remember the Four corners: Communication, Honesty, Respect , and Trust

Try anything Once, Twice if you like it, Three times to make sure, four makes it a habit, and five makes it's a fetish.


(in reply to umisprite)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 10:57:08 AM   
chathamvahere


Posts: 81
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		We have met all types in the lifestyle, some good, some bad, (just our opinion) but we always try to be polite, being Dom is easy, always being polite is not. We agree, when we send a message to anyone we never start with something condescending, we do not own them, (they do not wear our collar) so why try to be something we are not???

(in reply to MasterMataeo)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 11:01:03 AM   
DarkWriter


Posts: 53
Joined: 7/13/2007
Status: offline 		The pity of it is that the people you refer to are a reflection of a larger societal problem in which rudeness and crass behavior is celebrated while those who take a more thoughtful and reserved approach are often ignored. 

_____________________________

"Many people hear voices when no-one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing." (Anonymous)

(in reply to DustyPaddle)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 11:02:40 AM   
Jill805


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline 		Its not just D/M who send rude communications.  I have just received a particularly nasty message from a sub that I have never corresponded with before.  Now where is that delete button?

(in reply to chathamvahere)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 4:01:07 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear DustyPaddle, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
For me, I see it more of a person/individual problem, as far as rude behavior.  We have hopes in dealing with adults and adult issues.  Unfortunately, some individuals must act out their insecurities in attacking others. 
 
If one and all (in general terms) can understand, that everybody has a right to be human.  That mistakes will happen to the best of the best; the need to package for public consumption 'perfection' will be replaced by seeing how anybody could make the same mistake or the choices made and all the frustrations that go with life (in general).
 
In the general population of BDSM, S&M, D/s and or M/s -- there are more polite Dominants than there are rude, crude, insecure, selfish and or greedy ones.  Unfortunately, like the newspapers, television and tabloids--the negative ones get the publicity.  For those attention vampires this is the behavior they seem to ask for and get.  The same for the scene/BDSM, etc.
It is a social/civilization issue.  Those who behave wonderfully do not get an honorable mention on a steady basis.  When good people do, it is out-done by the negatives.  In my personal opinion, if there was a real effort to focus on the positive individuals and positive things, those who feed on negatives, supply the negatives and push the negatives will loose their grip of controlling the drama.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 

(in reply to DustyPaddle)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 9:03:26 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		I think I posted this to another thread recently...There is no excuse for bad manners. Unfortunately, there are rude people out there, and we just have to deal with them the best we can. I do wonder, however, if in these cases it is a lot of people doing it, or just a few doing it a lot.
Joseff

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 10:32:56 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Why do they never seem to consider that something besides ignoring them might be the reason a submissive does not write back right away?

My father is in the hospital and he is ill right now. I have spent some considerable time there this week. Plus I am trying to get my house ready for sale. I did write a long rant on a thread in the Off Topic Discussion board, but it was mostly because I couldn't sleep. If anyone read that thread, it may have been apparent to anyone who knows me that I was not "my usual self", as I was pretty volatile in parts of that thread (even if I was attached to the topic being discussed). 

I could write a few people back who wrote me last week via CM e-mail  (and I will) usually I do - but I figured if I wrote them back this week (which was very stressful for me personally) that they will then write me back (even if I explain why I don't have time to write) and they'd get annoyed with me anyway for not writing (at least this week). Maybe weird reasoning, but it works (for me) this week. 

I also say right in my profile, that I am here mostly for the message boards, and explain that I do not always hop right on my e-mail. I am not purposely trying to hurt anyone's feelings by not writing back right away.

If somebody takes it personally enough that I haven't written back "soon enough" for them, and they have to descend into assuming I am just being rude to them, and there couldn't be any other reason, then I really just don't know what to say to that.

I don't know, btw, if anyone has done that - because this week I haven't opened my CM mail (not that I get that much of it anyway).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/1/2007 10:43:15 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Joseff)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 11:22:26 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		FR

If you really wanna see rude, stick around the forums a bit lol...... it's everywhere

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/1/2007 11:34:40 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		so umm i read this thread and the only thing i could think of the entire time was wow...a lot of referencing of Dungeon Monitors (yes i know ya'll meant Dominants/Masters, we won't get into that Dominants can be female or that Masters can be female or why males seem to never want to be refered to as Mistresses but anyway) and wondering if there was possibly an unanttened to fetish for orange vests........

chelle...who thinks that perhaps the vests should be another color...i like purple but its not very visable in a room full of people...neon green works for me...but no one has asked me...

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Rude Doms & Masters - 9/2/2007 12:17:20 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		 Chelle:  you really are a nut.  If I was a brunette with tattoos, piercings and hips that did amazing things, I'd probably ask you to marry me (teasing).

Dammit, I keep forgetting I'm straight.  Anyway, I've ran across several of your posts and just thought you were adorabe.  If the word adorable is offensive....ahh well, insert whatever form of flattery suits you. 

OP:  What topservez said.  Her post hit things pretty much on the head

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

so umm i read this thread and the only thing i could think of the entire time was wow...a lot of referencing of Dungeon Monitors (yes i know ya'll meant Dominants/Masters, we won't get into that Dominants can be female or that Masters can be female or why males seem to never want to be refered to as Mistresses but anyway) and wondering if there was possibly an unanttened to fetish for orange vests........

chelle...who thinks that perhaps the vests should be another color...i like purple but its not very visable in a room full of people...neon green works for me...but no one has asked me...


(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 17
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