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time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 12:40:58 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		ok- i met bill and his wife on a free cycle site. they  live a few miles away- they very much want a friendship. i let the gay thing out of the bag and they are ok. i explained i am a male. i view myslef as such. we have alot in commen.

the other day i had to refuse a dinner invitation.

ok- this is why. i cant breath per their smoke. it isnt them- simply the smoke - if my mom or family did so- i still would have to decline.

i dont expect them to quit as they has serious medical troubles. it is none of my business....is my opinion.

anyhow - i soon must come clean as to why i been blowing them off.

an ideas? help
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RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 12:41:55 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		tell them the truth.......sweetly of course

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 12:56:00 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yep, just explain it to them nicely.

Smoking is one of my hard limits. Will not allow it in my house and will not get physically close to anyone that smokes. The smell makes me want to puke. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
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RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 3:09:17 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Yep, what they said.  I would refuse, and simply state the truth.  I get a sore throat when I am around cigarette smoke.  Plain and simple.

How about an outside BBQ instead?

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 3:22:56 PM   
Satyr6406


Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Yep, what they said.  I would refuse, and simply state the truth.  I get a sore throat when I am around cigarette smoke.  Plain and simple.

How about an outside BBQ instead?


Yeah, because the smoke from the burning charcoal NEVER bothers ANYONE'S throat? LOL!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,


Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 3:42:32 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		after playing in clubs for years before they had smoke eaters i am one that yep smoking does not work for me can not stand nor deal with ti just be honest

(in reply to Satyr6406)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 3:48:59 PM   
slaveboyforyou


Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I smoke, and it doesn't offend me if someone tells me they are allergic to it or it bothers them.  I would just tell them what the smoking does too you.  I make a point to ask people if they mind when I light up in my house.  I never smoke at other people's houses unless they are smokers too.  If they do mind, then they don't have any manners.  If that is the case, you are better off without their friendship.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 3:55:05 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		My advice is like everyone else's- tell them the truth. Smoke bothers you, it bothers a lot of people, I'm willing to bet they've heard it before. It's better than them thinking you just don't want to be around them.




_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to slaveboyforyou)
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RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 5:38:27 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		        Tell them the truth, and quickly.  I'm a smoker, occasionally militant about it when I'm outdoors, but I'm willing to be very accomodating to friends with health issues. 

       If your issue is with the simple odor of cigarettes, rather than a cloud of secondhand stuff, it gets more complicated to work things out.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 7:46:20 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

ok- this is why. i cant breath per their smoke. it isnt them- simply the smoke


You could tell them that for health reasons you can't be around smoke, but maybe they would like to go out to a restaurant sometime where they can go outside for their smoke, or even to your place if they can go out to smoke.

BTW i love freecycle, just gave away a lot of crap.  For those who aren't familiar with it go to www.freecycle.org and find your local area.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 8/27/2007 7:48:14 PM >

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 8:02:30 PM   
Solaise


Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline 		I'd give them the option of putting their butts out so they can hang out with you. But if you can't do that, I would just simply tell them what the real deal is, and leave it at that.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/27/2007 8:32:25 PM   
FatDomDaddy


Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not a smoker myself but I love women who smoke and drink.

Cigarettes and whisky and wild wild women.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: time to come clean advice sought -smokers - 8/28/2007 5:19:57 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		ok- thanks everyone!  my gut feeling- that to come to the point. [even the bitchy dont smoke by me one] is better then a percieved snub.

im glad to have your opinions. i want to get along with others. Bill and his wife are good people. it isnt often i can meet local folks for genuine friendship!!!

this is a small town- i did not go to highschool here so i am forever an outsider. thats fine.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)
Profile   Post #: 13
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