Speech Restrictions

Speech Restrictions (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

kyraofMists -> Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 6:06:31 PM)
A comment made by Merc in the Slaves vs Subs thread that is currently running inspired this question. His comment was essentially that beth is restricted from using words when the letters N and O are next to each other, i.e. no, knowing, another. This requires extra thought on the part of the slave to express themselves while conforming to the restrictions. In my relationships, I have certain speech restrictions. Alandra and I are required to say "my pleasure" instead of "your are welcome". We are not allowed to use his given name and there are others as well. I personally enjoy having these restrictions; they force me to make a conscious effort to follow his will and they reinforce for me that he has authority over everything, even the words that I speak. What, if any, speech restrictions do you have in your relationships? When they were first imposed how did you incorporate them into your life? Knight's Kyra

missturbation -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 6:17:11 PM)
What, if any, speech restrictions do you have in your relationships? To call Him Sir, not use His given name. If asked if i am ok, i'm fine is not an acceptable answer. To use yes, not yeah. To not use the word ok. When they were first imposed how did you incorporate them into your life? I found calling Him Sir uncomfortable at first as we had been friends a while and i had always called Him an abbreviation of His real name. I still struggle with not saying the others i mentioned and occasionally slip up.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 6:18:57 PM)
quote: What, if any, speech restrictions do you have in your relationships? When they were first imposed how did you incorporate them into your life? The only speech restriction I impose on my slave is that she is to address me as "Sir" or "Master". It's a holdover from my time in the Marines; it's ingrained in me that such is the gesture of respect that is every leader's due. As for how it is incorporated, it is articulated in the formal rules I have for the house. It is what is expected of any who would serve my house.

BitaTruble -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 6:28:27 PM)
I'm allowed to use titles when speaking to Himself which reflect either a) my respect for him (Master, Sir, Himself, Mr. G) or b) my love and affection for him (babe, love). I am allowed to use his given name (Michael) but not the derivative (Mike) which is what everyone else calls him. I'm also allowed, on occasion, to be a wise-ass, but I won't go in to what I call him at those times. ::grins:: I am allowed to use the word 'no' in a context other than as a response to a command Neither am I allowed to use some fungible word or phrase which results in a negative response to that given command. "Fetch me a drink." "Fetch it yourself," garners the exact same consequence than if I had just said, "No," so I don't go there. I really, truly, don't want to find out what the consequences of such a response would entail. I'm not allowed to answer the phone/doorbell while I'm serving dinner to him or eating dinner myself nor am I allowed to tell callers whether or not he's even home without his permission. Caller ID comes in very handy in our house and my response to any question as to his whereabouts is to be, "I can take a message for you." There are weekends where we engage in strict high-protocol where my speech is almost non-existant, I'm not allowed to look at him or speak unless it's to answer a direct question. I enjoy that on occasion because I'm a big-time talker and it allows me a cleansing silence. (No one probably understands that but me! lol) He also prefers me to say "my pleasure" over 'you're welcome,' although it's not required. That said, because he prefers it, I tend to use it. All these were imposed as soon as I moved into his home and, while I messed up on occasion in the beginning, I don't anymore. Like anything else, it was a matter of his tweaking me and giving me time to acclimate to his requirements until they became second nature. Celeste

MadRabbit -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 6:53:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists We are not allowed to use his given name and there are others as well. Just out of my own personal curiousity, I was curious as to what you call him in replacement of his given name.

kyraofMists -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 7:05:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists We are not allowed to use his given name and there are others as well. Just out of my own personal curiousity, I was curious as to what you call him in replacement of his given name. Mostly, we (Alandra and I) call him "my Lord" and it is used with every sentence. These days it flows rather naturally for me, though in the beginning I talked a little less than normal because it was awkward at first. The only time that title is not used is when we can be overheard by people he does not want to hear that title. In those times, we call him "my Love", but it is only used to get his attention. Even in an introduction I will not use his name. I will present someone to him and then he will give them his name. In play, anything goes and I can call him whatever comes to mind. His name is not something that comes to mind though. Even when others use it I do not immediately know who they are refering to. Denika and I were chatting once and she used his name and it took me a few minutes to figure out that she was talking about him; I had a good laugh over that. Knight's Kyra

MadRabbit -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 7:09:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists We are not allowed to use his given name and there are others as well. Just out of my own personal curiousity, I was curious as to what you call him in replacement of his given name. Mostly, we (Alandra and I) call him "my Lord" and it is used with every sentence. These days it flows rather naturally for me, though in the beginning I talked a little less than normal because it was awkward at first. The only time that title is not used is when we can be overheard by people he does not want to hear that title. In those times, we call him "my Love", but it is only used to get his attention. Even in an introduction I will not use his name. I will present someone to him and then he will give them his name. In play, anything goes and I can call him whatever comes to mind. His name is not something that comes to mind though. Even when others use it I do not immediately know who they are refering to. Denika and I were chatting once and she used his name and it took me a few minutes to figure out that she was talking about him; I had a good laugh over that. Knight's Kyra Interesting. Thank you

kyraofMists -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 7:15:26 PM)
My pleasure, MadRabbit. Thank you to everyone who has responded so far. And Celeste, I simply cannot imagine you as a wise-ass... tongue firmly in cheek Knight's Kyra

Cyntilating -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 7:28:31 PM)
I don't use his given first name...generally answer with " yes, Master" or "yes, Sir." " yes, i understand" ...don't say " nope" "ya" "yep" ( well sometimes when I'm playful, and the mood is right, I will say " yeppers" ) ... He frowns when I answer a direct question about how I am feeling by saying " I'm fine" ..or " ok" ...I know that when He asks me that question > He wants details and always forthright answers. am absolutely not allowed to cut myself down in anyway....or use derogatory words to describe myself or my appearance. I can't remember ever using terms of endearment in place of saying "Master or Sir" .. honey..lamb..sweetie...etc <no no altho' in my mind "Master" is a term of endearment when I say it.. not something He told me not to do> but I don't start a sentence with " I disagree" or " I think you are wrong" .. yikes ( just got a cold chill down my spine thinking about it ) .. but when I do have an opinion/question I will say " Master, can we please talk about that a little more in depth?" and then He knows I have an opinion that might not entirely match His lol.. .............as I said in a previous post.....I am encouraged to express myself and my views...feelings certainly..............but the approach/delivery/manner/respect and tact is the key : ) How I incorporated them into my life? many of them were easy.....and just general politeness and respect...{I was always very polite and respectful to my father and used terms like "yes sir" .."no sir" and proper respectful manners and english vocabulary he insisted upon, so this was easy to incorporate for Master }. the "using derogatory terms" towards myself > was immediately addressed by Him and was the most difficult thing for me to stop slipping up on... ( I had been so use to doing that for so long in my life ) The "endearment terms " lesson I learned ( the hard way ) from my prior relationship with a Top/friend....I called him "cookie" once....but never again!....::cof n groan:: so that had already been impressed upon me by the time I met Master. Never was difficult to call Him "Master or Sir".. what was difficult was not to ( I was collared for 8 years..then there was a 2 yr timeframe when He was still in my life but I was not collared) and during that time it was very hard not to call Him " Master" ..and to use His first name... felt so foreign and unnatural.. I am premitted ( and expected ) that when I speak about Him to my family, his family, or friends..co-workers... > I use His first name..rather than calling Him my Master... thats hard sometimes to remember to do.. and recently, now that we find ourselves in a temp LDR, He has decided that we have a new rule> He doesn't want us to dwell on the negative...so we don't say " I miss you" He feels we are still right next to each other in all aspects except the physical and so this is His way of keeping us focused on what we do have ...rather than what we miss... btw HE was the first one to break that rule the other day grinz.. we both laughed tho' ....we both have a good sense of humor...I really think that is key to all we have been through together.. oh...and He amended it by saying "HE can say he hungers for me" ... Masters can always bend their rules yanno ? [;)] great Topic Kyra ! : )

devotedsylph -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 7:39:25 PM)
I am not allowed to call Master by his first name unless he specifically says so (so far, in nearly 2 years, the few times he has asked me to use his given name were all during particularly tender bits of sex). I am to speak to him respectfully - particularly when I'm voicing a complaint or disagreement. What I call him will really depend on the situation we're in. I'm allowed to call him Master, Sir, Amo (Spanish for Master or My Lord) and any affectionate term (honey, sexyman, etc.). If I am not certain, I will whisper to him and ask. When we're just together and not actively engaging in conversation, I don't speak very much. I am a big fan of silent communication (looks and gestures). In the beginning, I struggled a lot because I REALLY WANTED TO use his given name, but now I can't imagine freely using it. simply, sylph

denika -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 7:41:49 PM)
It took me a while to say Sir without feeling akward, it's a term I use for strangers at work so changing my though process on it's meaning took a bit of time. Knight is the only one I actually call Sir, Rob prefers just his name or the collection of nicknames we have come up with over the years g lol we have come up with some unique ones s At times I think Rob wishes he imposed speech restrictions on me g I can babble with the best of them. The only thing he gets upset with me about is when I use derogitory terms for myself, which unfortunity is a habit of mine, right up there with avoiding mirrors. It's a work in progress tho, baby steps as he would say. Aside from that we have no set protols. denika

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 7:47:20 PM)
Angel calls me Mommy, and as we are progressing, he is not allowed to refer to himself as a male when he is "in character". He calls himself mine, my girl, or my baby, but never my little boy. When we are out and bieng vanilla, he uses my given name, and a host of other silly nicknames and such. At home he knows better. Also, in character (I call it that for now since his age play dynamic cant be full time while he is at school) we are working on restricting his use of grownup words, and he is absolutely not allowed to swear. If he asks for something, he has to say May I and not Can I. Little things for him to work on, all of shich we are still instituting... its a work in progress just like all other aspects of Angels training. DV

NControlofU -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 7:48:01 PM)
The only restrictions on how my slave speaks to me or around me is to always speak respectfully, to address me only as sir or master and to never raise her voice to me. Other than that she is free to say whatever she wants except when I gag her or tell her to shut up.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 7:56:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble There are weekends where we engage in strict high-protocol where my speech is almost non-existant, I'm not allowed to look at him or speak unless it's to answer a direct question. I enjoy that on occasion because I'm a big-time talker and it allows me a cleansing silence. (No one probably understands that but me! lol) Ha. Believe it or not, I get that. :) Like others have said, I can not say No to an order. I can say "Yes, Master" or I can ask for clarification. If I have concern over an order, I may voice it respectfully - once and only once. In fact, I am allowed to make any reasonable request of him - but only once. I call him Master, Dear Master, Darling Master, My Love, or Mr. Wonderful. I never to call him by his name. (Last night I called him Mr. Meanie, and Cruel Man, but that's not a common occurence, heh) I am not to respond to him with "OK"; I am to say "Yes, Master." I am not to instruct him anything. "Here, read this - you'll like it." should be, "I saw this article you might like and I'm leaving it here for you to read if you wish." (or some other variation) He prefers I speak well, using correct English. I ask "May I" rather than "Can I." Also, I will be corrected for incorrectly using words like "alternative" when "option" should be used. For example: B would be the alternative to A, whereas B, C, and D would be options to A. Alternative is a second choice. Options are several choices. If I misuse a word, I will be corrected. I thank him for every order or instruction or correction or punishment if one should occur. This is not required; rather it is something I do of my own accord and he appreciates it. When asked what am I thinking or feeling, I am to figure it out and tell him. "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer. I am always to speak respectfully to him. I raised my voice once, a long time ago, and well, that only happened once for a reason.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 8:16:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists What, if any, speech restrictions do you have in your relationships? When they were first imposed how did you incorporate them into your life? don't have any - Daddy's not into speech restriction protocol

aSlavesLife -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 8:22:55 PM)
I have no protocol regarding speech for my pet. I sometimes have to silence her with a simple " Shut up! " because it seems that New Yorkers like to talk...a lot. Depending on her mood, this will hold her from 10 minutes to an hour. If I am reading I might have to threaten her with a gag in order to get her to find something other than me to busy herself with. For the most part I enjoy listening to her, caustic accent and all. Owner of slave L

shyinini -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 8:28:31 PM)
My restrictions are not to mention to anyone what is currently going on in our relationship. I have no fear in going to him with anything, He knows that so of course I have no need to share as others do about their concerns. There are times I'd like to banter about some of my past issues,which many times haunt me or I am still working on, but I wont spread my shit around. I have learned around here. I am not restricted from continuing to use the past relationship in examples of how I learned and moved on. Besides he doesnt come to this side of the boards nor does his "slave." Sometimes I do feel pretty close to a good diss on him, which would displease Sir, so I try to be civil. beth's task is so fabulously unique....it would put me hard pressed to think fast. But then I never use the N or L word anyway, so go figure. I applaude beth in her challenge. Sir's girl

kyraofMists -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 8:48:43 PM)
LOL Okay, so the post the inspired this thread was meant as a joke by Merc, but I still enjoy speech restrictions and I appreciate hearing what others have shared. Knight's Kyra

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 9:11:37 PM)
Nope- we love our sarcasm, humor and wordplay. It would be way too limiting for us. Not that I think speech control necessarily limits people, I think in some ways it can foist creativity in itself to work within boundaries. But I grew up with a family joke being to ask for a favor and immediately be told NO, followed by a warm smile and asking what you needed- it is a form of recognition and closeness for us. And countless other examples. Any person who can't handle that for me, is not someone I can consider part of my "family."

Mercnbeth -> RE: Speech Restrictions (8/26/2007 9:22:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists LOL Okay, so the post the inspired this thread was meant as a joke by Merc, but I still enjoy speech restrictions and I appreciate hearing what others have shared. Knight's Kyra Oh boy - I really hope nobody got offended! Sorry for the misunderstanding. It just goes to show it is impossible to type inflection to indicate humor. It was a concept that came to mind when someone used the ability to say "no" to distinguish slave v. submissive. Expanding on the concept that a slave should never say 'no' I thought the point better enforced by eliminating the two letters appearing together. Although now that the idea is out there... However, on a serious note, I require beth to use third party speech 24/7. Exception is granted in business settings and with family, but as people who have met us will confirm - she uses it all the time. My purpose was and is to focus outside herself. she's a very capable and intelligent woman and I think he use of third person speech is beautiful. It empowers me, but it also empowers the relationship. We both serve the relationship. We say this often. Whenever we're asked about whether its appropriate that a person (slave or sub - whatever...) is required to or prohibited from doing something we always tell the person from either side of the flogger to ask why. If there is a reason that make sense to both parties use the prohibition or employ the requirement. It becomes a talisman, ever present to make a statement about what you believe important. We've been all over the world, busy and distracted by all manner of things. Wherever we are and whatever we're doing, when beth begins a request by saying; "Master, may this slave...", instead of "I'm going..." or "May I go..."; it vocalizes a dynamic that is important to us. You can't be naked, caged, and chained all the time. Words and rules concerning them however can be used all the time, and a whispered request in the middle of a formal business dinner takes the place of physical chains. No dogma being expressed except our personal one. We've been told our use of third party annoys many. Sorry - but it doesn't annoy us, and ultimately that's the only people we strive to keep happy, content, and long lasted. To that end it serves.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125