Closet BDSM

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Dnomyar -> Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 8:07:22 AM)
There are a lot of people on here who are still in the closet about their interest in BDSM. They are afraid that their spouse(male/female) will not approve. Is there something that can be said to the spouse to help them see your side of the issue. Lets keep this to a play without sex issue.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 8:12:40 AM)
Nope, I'm afraid it has to be kept in the closet forever, no hope at all, and they are the only one who has ever had to go through that tragedy before.

mnottertail -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 8:15:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar There are a lot of people on here who are still in the closet about their interest in BDSM. They are afraid that their spouse(male/female) will not approve. Is there something that can be said to the spouse to help them see your side of the issue. Lets keep this to a play without sex issue. It is a large, warm, and dark closet, very likeable. Ron

domiguy -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 8:20:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar There are a lot of people on here who are still in the closet about their interest in BDSM. They are afraid that their spouse(male/female) will not approve. Is there something that can be said to the spouse to help them see your side of the issue. Lets keep this to a play without sex issue. I think the masses rather enjoy sex with their bdsm....It's an oreos with milk kind of deal.

YourShyPet -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 8:22:19 AM)
OH! (envious huffing and puffing) I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT THE CLOSET!!!!... Do I get a turn too???

CrazyC -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 8:26:10 AM)
I had a friend aske me what it was like coming out of the BDSM closet. My reply was....I have to be in a closet to come out.

spiral23 -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 9:29:05 AM)
the lion, the whip and the closet...

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 9:35:40 AM)
I had someone ask me what they should do. My answer was you should have been honest a long time ago. After your married, getting your sig other to agree to allow you to play elsewhere is probably not going to go over real well, since it might be seen a a new interest becaue they are lacking. The issue with coming out is timing. If you do so at the wrong time, your sig other could take it as something against them, rather than for you. If you suggest they try it with you, that might be easier. If they like it, great. If they dont, then you can see if theyd be willing to allow you to explore elsewhere. Not impossible, just tricky DV

sublizzie -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 9:39:50 AM)
I was submissive to my husband. Unfortunately he was not in the least bit dominant. In fact, he'd probably have been happier if I'd been dominant. Since I am interested in D/s rather than S&M, this could have worked with someone who was willing to be a responsible partner. Power exchange, in many forms, has been practiced for years. My giving power to my spouse could have worked out fine and I would never have a) divorced him, and b) gotten into the lifestyle community if I'd married someone different but vanilla. Just my thoughts.

Dnomyar -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 11:12:34 AM)
Divorce is an option but is it the only one.

mnottertail -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 11:15:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourShyPet OH! (envious huffing and puffing) I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT THE CLOSET!!!!... Do I get a turn too??? NOBODY expects the CLOSET!!!!! Nor do they expect the SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!! Bernardo Gui Cardinal Ximenez Tomas de Torquemada

LadySeraphina -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 11:22:54 AM)
Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!

mnottertail -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 11:23:38 AM)
Produce the COMFY CHAIR!

YourShyPet -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 11:44:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail quote: ORIGINAL: YourShyPet OH! (envious huffing and puffing) I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT THE CLOSET!!!!... Do I get a turn too??? NOBODY expects the CLOSET!!!!! Nor do they expect the SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!! Bernardo Gui Cardinal Ximenez Tomas de Torquemada Bad Newt... Naughty Naughty Newt.

Jeffff -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 11:49:08 AM)
Bdsm. without the sex, is kinda like, the old.."Father knows best: show....(yeah I am old). I know there is more than the sex, but it IS the sex. If that makes sense...and even if it doesn't.:) Jeff

ChainsandFreedom -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 12:14:36 PM)
quote: there is more than the sex, but it IS the sex. Yeah. What Jeff said. I will NEVER understand how you consider someone spouse-worthy who doesn't know about your sexual interest's. And its more than sex: its an aspect of personality. Even if it was a miraculous virgin marriage or a shot-gun she's pregnant kinda deal, how can you get married to someone and they're still surprised by this side of your personality? Same lesson I learned when one of my best friends dad's divored his mom for another man. Sometimes the communication is a bigger issue than the sexuality.

DS4DUMMIES -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 1:26:48 PM)
...and did you notice that even when he became Marcus Welby...he STILL wasn't sleeping with anyone..... DS4...who IS old.... quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Bdsm. without the sex, is kinda like, the old.."Father knows best: show....(yeah I am old). I know there is more than the sex, but it IS the sex. If that makes sense...and even if it doesn't.:) Jeff

DS4DUMMIES -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 1:32:00 PM)
I think it is important to realize that BDSM in a closet is awfully difficult. Let's look at using a bullwhip, for example. I think we can all agree that wielding a bullwhip in a closet is not the easiest thing to do. ....and how about coming out of the closet? What fun is it if you have to open the closet to come? but if you really think about it...who wants to come all over their clean clothes and shoes and the like in the closet? ...though a sealed closet IS a good place to keep a woman who is under consideration...(sorry... I had to [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m16.gif[/image]) Ds4 quote: ORIGINAL: DS4DUMMIES ...and did you notice that even when he became Marcus Welby...he STILL wasn't sleeping with anyone..... DS4...who IS old.... quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Bdsm. without the sex, is kinda like, the old.."Father knows best: show....(yeah I am old). I know there is more than the sex, but it IS the sex. If that makes sense...and even if it doesn't.:) Jeff

Jeffff -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 2:34:54 PM)
Maybe if you had a nice big walk in closet?.....and ....if Carol Bradey was tied up in it?...maybe? Jeff

MadRabbit -> RE: Closet BDSM (8/22/2007 2:54:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar There are a lot of people on here who are still in the closet about their interest in BDSM. They are afraid that their spouse(male/female) will not approve. Is there something that can be said to the spouse to help them see your side of the issue. Lets keep this to a play without sex issue. It is a large, warm, and dark closet, very likeable. Ron Since I keep all my toys in the closet, being in it can be a rather enjoyable experience.

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