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RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 10:10:45 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

If they're answering your emails with one or two words then they're not interested.
If they were there would be more words.


Not necessarily. I'll answer a 1-2 word email with 1-2 words back. If they respond with more words, they'll get more words. If it's another 1-2 word email, then that's what will be returned.

Sometimes I'll get an email that's all information with no questions for me to answer. That'll get a 1-2 word response as well. If someone wants to know about me, then ask. I'm quite verbose when given a good opening. But to be given a list of a Dominant's special toys and interests isn't an opening for me to say anything, really. "Nice collection" is really all that seems to be required.

Just my thoughts......

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 10:23:07 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		I know what you are talking about.   I don't think that it's lack of interest, since they are the ones contacting me....and I don't expect some long drawn out email of their deep dark secrets....but sending one or two words to a question  is just rude.  How about enough to show you can carry on a conversation. 

When I tell them this I get the standard, well you are the Domme, you are supposed to lead the conversation....yeah well I'm not your Domme and you contacted me, ...so until we get to know each other you are just another person in the world. 

Then they resort to, well ask me some questions.  Um...I only interview in person, not on here...we are supposed to be seeing if we are compatible as two people, you know carry on a conversation?

or I get the I do better in IM...so you IM, and you get the same response...then of course they say, well, I do better on the phone, and gee...guess what

and if I give them the same short answer treatment, they complain...lol

If they don't want to make an effort, just simply move on...I do   I've talked to many many nice and interesting people on here through emails, which graduated into IM, then phone, then face to face.....so I know it can be done.

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to fieryangel21)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 10:25:45 AM   
caught4u


Posts: 132
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

If they're answering your emails with one or two words then they're not interested.
If they were there would be more words.


not entirely true. i can think of one or two words that would show their interest .  ex: your hot/daaayyym/mine/come over/f#*k me/etc..etc.. maybe those people are more to the point  

_____________________________

"Be Yourself - Everyone Else is Taken"


~owned by Master of Wind~

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 10:35:17 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		If i'm interested in someone and they show interest back then you can believe that I'm all over their emails.  If I'm not interested then they become one of about ten different windows that are open on my desktop.

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 10:40:44 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Aileen can I be your 11th window?

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 10:45:28 AM   
fieryangel21


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

I don't consider one a submissive or a dominant I just go hey how you doin whether its dominant or submissive, I don't know if other 'subs' do it the same way but I could imagine it'd be a barrier if you keep thinking about you being the submissive and the person you're talking to is the dominant..and can't get that out of your head through the whole conversation. Maybe that's what some subs do? I'm sure that would make me endlessly insecure if I were trying to focus on showing my best submissive side while meeting a person for the first time.............if you get my point


Definitely true. I tend to roll my eyes at people who address me as Your Highness, even though they don't know me from Eve. I was actually talking about this very thing with someone I met here. I don't expect people to act submissive to me when we don't yet share the mutual trust and respect required. On the other side, if I were a sub I would not address anyone as Master or Mistress until they earned the respect that goes with those titles.

This is getting increasingly off topic, but I think there's a distinction to be made here between people who identify as subs and people who identify as "Mistress' sub" (or Master's). The former behaves as a submissive toward anyone that identifies as a Dom(me). The latter behaves as a submissive toward a particular Dom(me) or group of Dom(me)s that they have come to respect in that way. Some people believe that because they identify as sub or Dom(me) that is how they deserve to be treated by everyone (or at least everyone in the lifestyle). I have met people like this. However, I believe that sub or Dom(me) is a choice that two or more people make together that defines their relationship. A Dom(me) speaking to a sub who is a complete stranger should not expect obedience and respect just because they like being dominant. She is not inherently better than the sub, and the sub is not required to serve her until they have decided that mutually. I make a distinction between my sub and a person I would like to be my sub. The former obeys me and respects me, and I care for and respect her. The latter is just someone I want to get to know better.

These are just my beliefs and views, however, and I fully acknowledge and respect other people's ways of handling this issue, as long as it's mutual between the individuals in question.

_____________________________

Angel


I always find myself wondering when signing on to the public computers on campus, "Do you really care about my personal settings, or are you just programmed to say that?"

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 10:50:30 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fieryangel21

but I think there's a distinction to be made here between people who identify as subs and people who identify as "Mistress' sub" (or Master's). The former behaves as a submissive toward anyone that identifies as a Dom(me). The latter behaves as a submissive toward a particular Dom(me) or group of Dom(me)s that they have come to respect in that way.


I completely disagree with this sentence.  I most certainly don't behave submissively towards anyone that identifies as dom. 

(in reply to fieryangel21)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 10:52:52 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Aileen can I be your 11th window?



Hahaha.  Yes.  You can be right up there next to my bank statement.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 11:14:59 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		 Maybe they don't know what to say. When i recieve emails i'll answer the questions in as little words as possible only because i do not want to reveal a lot about myself at first, then i'll ask questions back to the sender. Eventually i will open up a little more once we start sending messages back and forth a few times.

(in reply to fieryangel21)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 11:31:23 AM   
fieryangel21


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I completely disagree with this sentence.  I most certainly don't behave submissively towards anyone that identifies as dom. 


I didn't say you did. But some people absolutely do. I think you're analyzing my semantics too deeply.

_____________________________

Angel


I always find myself wondering when signing on to the public computers on campus, "Do you really care about my personal settings, or are you just programmed to say that?"

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 11:32:42 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fieryangel21
I find that problematic as well. How can you have a conversation with someone if they aren't paying attention to what you're saying to them? Even ignoring the fact that they want to be your sub, it's common courtesy to pay attention and show interest in what another person is saying when you are conversing with them.

Now you are beginning to sound whiny. 

Conversing is a completely different media from email correspondence.  Very different set of expectations.

Secondly, they ARE paying attention, they are responding after all and that's more than what a lot can claim on this site.  Just because you aren't getting the answers you want doesn't make them the loser- ask yourself if your questions could be better formed, or perhaps need more support structure before you go into those topics?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to fieryangel21)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 11:39:04 AM   
fieryangel21


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline 		Just sympathizing with MsSophie. I do apologize for offending you.

_____________________________

Angel


I always find myself wondering when signing on to the public computers on campus, "Do you really care about my personal settings, or are you just programmed to say that?"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 11:40:43 AM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		I am with LA on this...

If i am interested, i will send a letter back. It might be short and sweet, because i am preoccupied or just not in a creative thought pattern. But there is still a letter.

If i'm not interested, the replys will stop completely. I know i sound like a bitch, but i just don't have the time to play ping pong email with someone that is going no where.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 11:42:43 AM   
fieryangel21


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline 		You're not a bitch! Well, you might be, but that's not the reason. It's actually pretty respectful of you to not want to lead anyone on.

_____________________________

Angel


I always find myself wondering when signing on to the public computers on campus, "Do you really care about my personal settings, or are you just programmed to say that?"

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 4:08:16 PM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		I'm more inclined to be guilty of the lonnnnnggggg emails...ask anyone> you really can't shut me up sometimes...
However> I've approached "new" inquiries both ways>>  answering with long involved " getting to know me better" information >>>>only to have my email read and not responded to... ( which is cool ..if we don't match we don't  but after a certain number of those, my " getting to know me info" kept getting edited more and more....
Until I know > my basic answer is going to get a positive response > I really try not to go into details anymore...I like questions and I answer the questions>  that way I'm not giving someone stuff that they don't really wanna know ( which Im sure Ive been guilty of ) ..so if THEY ask me what they wanna know > I feel more inclined to open up about that and hit the send button.
 
"Hi  like your profile..would like to chat further..emails me back if youre interested "
 
my response
 
"thanks...like yours also...heres my return response.."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
what's too much and what's not enough?
shrugs..
 
I agree with the person who suggested> a response is a response ..no matter the length...continue back and forth and see if they open up more ......
 
and to Leadinghand:
...." could you keep your questions to "yes or no" answers..."
that is rich LOL
then theres those of us <grinz> that you can't get to stop sharing every single feeling and thought that comes to our heads....  
 
 

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to fieryangel21)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 6:07:02 PM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paleseptember
Not to worry, fieryangel21.  In time, you'll find a subbie that you can't shut up.


Indeed fiery...careful what you wish for. 

(in reply to paleseptember)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Shyness - 8/20/2007 6:56:33 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fieryangel21

You're not a bitch! Well, you might be, but that's not the reason. It's actually pretty respectful of you to not want to lead anyone on.


LMAO I know i'm not a bitch. Ok so there are those silver line moments when i become Domme, but over all i am just too sweet. I just know where to draw a healthy line.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to fieryangel21)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Shyness - 8/21/2007 8:02:58 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I dont see what the problem is gettin a one or two word reply. At least your getting a reply. Look at it as a challenge to get them to open up more. If a person cant get past a few words in writing or conversation when you meet then there is no connection. Move on.

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Shyness - 8/21/2007 8:22:43 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Getting a one or two word response sucks ass!  If I am looking to get someone's attention I would think it might behoove me to explain something about myself...What seperates me from the masses....I can talk about the weather with any schmo on the street.

If someone is looking to gain my attention with a short intorduction that is one thing....If they carry on much further in this manner I will make the assumption that they are not interested in me...Or that they are simply not a very interesting individual....Either way the conversation is over....Not that there ever was one to begin with.

_____________________________



(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Shyness - 8/21/2007 8:26:31 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

So if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try!
ASK me, I won't say no,
How could I!

_____________________________



(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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