Just a quick question

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Just a quick question

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Just a quick question

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Just a quick question - 8/10/2007 7:00:34 PM

Samii

Posts: 67
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline

why when people be it Dom/Dommee/sub/slave says there looking for friends and you mesage them and try and be friendly why they dont ever write back?

They just read what you wrote and just toss it to the side, Maybe they dont like how you look (didnt know friends had to look a certon way) or maybe they dont like your profile but they could atleast tell you! I guess they never heard of the saying NEVER judge a book by its cover!!

_____________________________

«»No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we?re looking for the sources of our troubles, we shouldn?t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. P.J. O'Rourke «»

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Just a quick question - 8/10/2007 7:05:03 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

For me, I say I want friends, but when I get mail from someone who has either not bothered looking at my profile and who presents themselves in a way I dont really appreciate, I dont bother with them. When we are inundated with messages, sometimes some that dont have much merit or content do not get responses. One liners never do, for me. Regardless of who or what they are. Nor do ones that are not well written and in actual sentences. If someone wants to talk to me, friends or otherwise, they have to be legible.

Dont worry too much, if they dont want to talk to you, especially if its just as friends, then just move on.

I'll never understand why some people get so worried about those that dont write back. If they arent interested enough to return an email... why give them a second thought?

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Samii)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Just a quick question - 8/10/2007 7:07:29 PM

violetaelf

Posts: 74
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

Sadly I must agree.. I see that all around and everywhere.

I don't always reply to people who still 'market' themselves to me, ignoring (or not bothering to read) my profile and journals. (although I admit that i should update my profile to make things more clear)
But personally I welcome friends always (if they have no hidden agenda) ... Unfortunately, most people who are seeking on this side don't even entertain the idea that aside from partners, one can always find friends too... those who you can talk to about your interests and share ideas and thoughts.

Good that's not everyone like that and I found some nice friends here.. can count them on one hand, but still it's nice.

'violet'

(in reply to Samii)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Just a quick question - 8/10/2007 7:52:06 PM

Ysabol

Posts: 34
Joined: 8/1/2007
From: Ashland, New Hampshire
Status: offline

I'm new here, and looking to make friends as well, as I live in a really small town, moved here from another state a year ago, and don't know anyone in the scene besides my Master and our girlfriend. But, so far, no one has really messaged me to say hello. I did get a message from someone who was looking for a sub, which I answered with a note saying I'm sorry my profile confused them, but it clearly states I am looking to make friends ONLY. [shrugs]
I'd love to make some friends through here, and get to know others in the lifestyle. If anyone would like to message me, feel free.

(in reply to Samii)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Just a quick question - 8/10/2007 7:59:28 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Samii

why when people be it Dom/Dommee/sub/slave says there looking for friends and you mesage them and try and be friendly why they dont ever write back?

They just read what you wrote and just toss it to the side, Maybe they dont like how you look (didnt know friends had to look a certon way) or maybe they dont like your profile but they could atleast tell you! I guess they never heard of the saying NEVER judge a book by its cover!!

perhaps the people making this claim and not following through are players? just a thought.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Samii)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Just a quick question - 8/10/2007 8:00:14 PM

e01n

Posts: 1472
Status: offline

Well, that's online anything - it seems like if you take more than the most trivial of effort to get to know, you wind up knowing no one.

Then again, limiting conversations to those who have waded through page after page of really poorly written or horribly laid-out journal entries is equally a zero-sum game. I'm new and having slog through 4 different profiles to see if the person who i think I'm having a good time with in the forums is the same person I'd like to believe I'd have a good time with IRL. And that's not necessarily involving anything more than a friendly conversation...

Me, I'm taking the more open tack of being friendly and if anyone chooses to be unfriendly, I can always block them from my awareness...

(in reply to Ysabol)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Just a quick question - 8/10/2007 8:15:16 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

Personally, I have plenty of friends. Just because I'm open to new friendships, doesn't mean that I'm willing to invest the time to maintain a friendship with everyone. Sure, new friends are good and I won't overlook someone that I think will be a positive influence on my life. Unfortunately, however, the vast majority of the time, that isn't the case. I get lots of one liners, form letters, vague, impersonal statements that mean very little and are almost verbatim to the next ten messages waiting in my inbox.

If I replied to every single email that doesn't stand out to me, I probably wouldn't do much else with my time. If someone seems to have put some thought into what they've said, even if we're obviously not compatible on any meaningful level, I'll at least say thanks but no thanks. But to beat a dead horse, that usually isn't the case.

Sure, I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Personally though, I tend to read the overview that's usually on the inside jacket or back of a book to get an idea about whether or not I want to pick it up. If that's lacking, I'm going to move on to a more interesting book.

< Message edited by iammachine -- 8/10/2007 8:19:41 PM >

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Samii)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Just a quick question - 8/10/2007 8:16:44 PM

Samii

Posts: 67
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline

Thanks everyone for not bashing My question. I just wanted to see what others think =]

_____________________________

«»No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we?re looking for the sources of our troubles, we shouldn?t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. P.J. O'Rourke «»

(in reply to e01n)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Just a quick question - 8/10/2007 8:31:05 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Samii's profile

if you have a problem with it then click the red X

Just to point this out.

(in reply to Samii)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Just a quick question - 8/11/2007 6:37:44 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

Maybe they feel that you are wanting more than friendship or they have other reasons for not wanting to reply to your email. Focus on the people who do reply rather than those who don't.

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to Samii)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Just a quick question - 8/11/2007 6:46:44 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

While I agree with the general ideas here....

I'm picky about who I correspond with on anything beyond a superficial level. I'm fine with occasional emails once or twice a week, but I don't feel any obligation to chat with someone who I simply don't feel compelled to speak with. It's not such an issue in real life; if I don't want to see or talk to someone, I don't answer the phone. Online, though, and especially on CM, they can see when I've read their emails. If a few hours pass with no reply, sometimes I get "why didn't you answer me?" emails. Sheesh! Cut some slack, eh?

There's no polite way to say "I'm not really interested in being your chat buddy." Online, this is a much more black and white dynamic, than it is in real life though.

And yeah, I've felt snubbed to; it works both ways.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to wandersalone)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Just a quick question - 8/11/2007 6:50:05 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I have friends only in my profile. I've made some lifelong friends on this site over the year's I've been here.
A lot of superficial contact as well.
I stop responding to someone when they write me saying they are looking for friends to. Then add to it..what do I look like? What am I searching for? Etc...etc.

If they are true about friends. I dont' stop talking to them...seems so few are though.

(in reply to Samii)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Just a quick question - 8/11/2007 7:08:57 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I am quite happy that people don't want to be friends if I have offered that I just wish they would say so rather than just not writing back.
Lots of people don't want to or don't have any time to make on-line friends. That's ok.
I have the mindset that if someone looking for a Mistress doesn't have time to make friends with me first then I have a problem with them.
Will you be my Mistress yes or no? Answer not at this moment because I don't know you but I may want to be in the future. Can't wait that long moves onto the next Domme. Friendship can move into something more or can stick or can fizzel out.
It takes time to build any kind of relationship. Once a friendship is built though they can last a lifetime without much attention.

(in reply to Stephann)

Profile

Post #: 13