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i just found this... - 8/9/2007 10:01:28 AM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
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its quite interesting....
as statistics usually are...

Thirty-Five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 11:10:10 AM

velvetears

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i bet it's higher than that.

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 12:47:10 PM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
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thats almost half... but you're probably right... it could be higher...

thats scary

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 1:42:28 PM

windchymes

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I'd bet it's higher, too. I've bumped into a lot of guys who say they're divorced or separated or leave the space blank. You find out later that the divorce hasn't even been filed yet, or they're just unhappy and seeing what's out there, and a few don't want to get divorced at all, just want someone to have sex with.

Many of the ones who do have a divorce in the works like the idea of dating again, but their heart's not in it yet. I've found it best to date only men who have been divorced for a time and seem to be over it. You can get a feel for that in the early "getting to know you stage". Unfortunately, there's no set time frame for being over it. For some, it might be a few months, others take years, some never get over it.

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 1:54:26 PM

cyberdude611

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Its not just men though... I went out with a woman (did not meet online) a few years ago and she was divorced for about a year and she was still not over the guy.

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 2:18:18 PM

windchymes

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Oh, I know, it wasn't intended as an "only guys do this" type post. Just my own experiences. I've also dated guys who told me horror stories about dating women who weren't over guys yet, etc. Hell, I've been one of those women, lol But my intentions were good at the time!

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 2:27:12 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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misses windchymes:

no there is no set period to get over it, but you/I/us/they/he/she whomever can set a time for ourselves. Example: I will not date a man who has not been single at least 1 month per year of marriage. YES, if he was married 15 years, he should have 15 months of free/single time to play, think, lay back, travel, get his head together etc. If he still fails to be over it, I run, not walk to the nearest exit.

Any man's (in my case) issues (divorce, custody or whathaveyou) should be HIS problem. NO rebounds, NO fryingpan to fire-hoppers.

If someone settles for a recently divorced or married man/woman, they get the drama they deserve frankly.

< Message edited by came4U -- 8/9/2007 2:28:37 PM >

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 4:25:24 PM

windchymes

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I actually read something once where they said a person (male or female) needs half the amount of time that they were married to "get over it". In other words, if they were married 4 years, they need 2 years to get over it. If they were married 10 years, they need 5. If they were married 30 years, forget it, they'll be dead first.

I think those are extreme. For the most part, I agree with what you said, came4u. But I don't like to etch anything in stone, because everyone is different. Someone who was unhappily married and wanted out anyway is going to be ready to date much sooner than someone who didn't want the divorce in the first place and wishes he were still with her. (I'm using those pronouns arbitrarily....it could be him or her, he or she).

I get a sense of the situation before I rule them out based on time. As in everything else, just don't throw yourself quickly into a relationship early on....keep your heart until you know they want it.

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 4:41:45 PM

came4U

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yes, I used to have a 3 month per year rule..

till I realized that any potential date would be in a nursing home by the time I want to talk to him lol.

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 5:16:38 PM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

its quite interesting....
as statistics usually are...

Thirty-Five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

This suggests something heinous about these folks.

I think if you were fair to these people, you'd have stated the rest of the study which clearly showed that "over 93% of these people fully intend to get a divorce within the next 36 months".

(Let's try to tell the whole fucking story people!)

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 5:20:48 PM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Its not just men though... I went out with a woman (did not meet online) a few years ago and she was divorced for about a year and she was still not over the guy.

I got one better than that!

I'd been divorced for about 10 months or so. Met a chic somewhere (it's been a while), we decide to have dinner.

Nice time, good conversation, starting to feel comfortable...and suddenly I'm in shock because, for my own emotional reasons, I'm still wearing my wedding ring (it felt "normal"...couldn't seem to let it go) and I tell her abruptly "oh!!! I'm not married...I just haven't been able to...." and she says....

"Oh that's okay (showing off her nugget) I still am...hope that doesn't bother you".

CHECK PLEASE!!!!! (I was outa there in less than 4 minutes, check paid).

(Ain't my thing).

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 5:23:56 PM

LATEXBABY64

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and that dose not suprise me at all

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 5:33:44 PM

sophia37

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How in the world can anyone verify that stat?

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 5:41:11 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
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you haven't been able to remove your wedding band?, she is still married?, what is the difference really?

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 8:04:24 PM

ELUSIVE1

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Iagree--I betitis higher---just tonight someone messaged me from c/m...and after wasting about 20minutes of my time he admitted he was married and staying married---man damn I think all the married cheaters find my profile...

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 11:20:45 PM

thompsonx

Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

its quite interesting....
as statistics usually are...

Thirty-Five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

This suggests something heinous about these folks.

I think if you were fair to these people, you'd have stated the rest of the study which clearly showed that "over 93% of these people fully intend to get a divorce within the next 36 months".

(Let's try to tell the whole fucking story people!)

Griswold:
Of those 93% who plan to get divorced in the next 36 months almost 2% do the other 91% put it off for another 36 months.
ROFLMFAO
thompson

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 11:36:44 PM

MissMagnolia

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75% of people make up three quarters of the world population, the other 25%, a mere quarter.

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RE: i just found this... - 8/9/2007 11:49:51 PM

popeye1250

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From: New Hampshire
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I was divorced in 1989 and it took me about a case of beer to "get over it."

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RE: i just found this... - 8/10/2007 7:43:58 AM

came4U

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<cracks open 6 of the beers from Popeye's case and yup, all bettah now LOL

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RE: i just found this... - 8/10/2007 11:31:17 AM

popeye1250

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I mean if you're not compatable with another person why would it take any time to get over it?
The ex didn't even show up in court.
"Irreconcilable differences" , Next case!"
I'm single and available. (That) seems to scare off some women.

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