RE: Ladies- Would you?

RE: Ladies- Would you? (Full Version)

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AAkasha -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/8/2007 6:32:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn (responded to just the last post, not to the content of the last post) What I'm finding interesting about this thread is something that's being hinted at but not said, spoken around but not solidified. The first post asks if someone would be interested in spending time with a well trained submissive. A lot of responses have indicated a negative response, stating that they would not want to have to go through the work of "retraining" this submissive. This brings up a really significant question to me then. Having been owned before and trained several times by several different dominants, does that make me LESS suitable now as a submissive because I'm already used baggage that's been trained and would take too much time for someone to have to go through all of that labor when she could start off fresh with a new subbie from the "Just in" selection they got in at Wal Mart? Because having read the responses in this thread, it gives me the impression that if I ever want to attract a potential partner again, I may have to lie my ass off and say I've had zero experience as a submissive or slave and that I'm all wide eyed and bushy tailed to learn these new things that I have no idea of what they might be. I'm finding this thought very interesting, and quite reflective on what I perceive may be one of the problems I may have been observing. There's a big difference between having experience and saying you are "trained as a submissive and ready to serve" - insinuating that whatever training you received is the end-all, be-all of submission. You should enter into new relationships with the attitude that you're going to learn to serve the lady you are with, just as a guy will learn how a girlfriend likes to be treated, which might or might not be like his last girlfriend liked to be treated. Saying "I am a great boyfriend because I call five times a day, because that's what I was taught to do," might totally drive the next girlfriend crazy, who doesn't need that level of fawning. The same goes with submission; what might work for one femdom might turn off another. Akasha

LotusSong -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/8/2007 8:16:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: earthycouple I didn't even consider this aspect. I immediately thought she was training them and sending them on their way...they weren't owned. I saw business and big bucks. I train you. I place you. I make money. Better yet.. the slave goes to her for training.. of course that would involve "tribute" then she farms them out to a Domme at "graduation". That Domme doesn't pay anything because the money is made from the slave's "training classes". Said recipient Domme gets a slave from this benevolent trainer. The slave gets to play sub to a mistress who thinks she is getting some kind of bargain when in actuality, she is an unwitting promise from the trainer to the slave that he will serve a Mistress on his own for a day. The only one benefiting financially is the trainer.. the slave gets his jollies.. the recipient mistress thinks she is dominating when she is simply the sort of "final exam" for the slave's training that he paid for. I think it would all be fine so long as EVERYONE knows the purpose and maybe the trainer would split the tuition with the other mistress at the end of the line.

SunNMoon -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/8/2007 8:40:22 PM)
On the topic of the op, I’m going to assume that this “well trained submissive” is well trained to me. It might be nice to have the no strings housework done, I do so strongly hate cleaning. I’m seeing it as a free maid for a day. But in all honesty I’d rather have the strings. The whole finding and creating the relationship. The getting to know each other stuff; I take a very ‘nilla approach to finding my ideal mate. I personally would see his training as having another relationship with someone, we as a unit still have to learn each other. It’s all the small things that make relationships special, at least for me.

Grlwithboy -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/8/2007 8:40:44 PM)
Is this person interesting as a person? I have no interest in someone hovering around who is doing something I could pay to have done impersonally and inviting them into my space and life. If they're interesting, witty, easy on the eye is good icing on the cake but not that huge a deal, have experiences I find fascinating, and make halfway decent company, then I might want to have them around.

Smythe -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/8/2007 9:15:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta This is addressed towards the dominant ladies on this board. Subs can also give their opinions and feed back but the question is primarily directed towards women. If you could spend time with a well train submissive man with no ties, would you? This man would be reasonably trained as a domestic and open-minded enough to try new things. After some initial contact he would arrive at the place of your choosing and be ready to serve you at any capacity you see fit, respecting limits, of course. There would be no ties, just a chance for you to experience a well train submissive male. yes, of course, to a well trained domestic servant for a day but no to anything more intimate than that. I am a relationship, definite strings (ropes?) attached kind of person. Smythe

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/8/2007 9:36:29 PM)
No. A no strings attached interaction doesn't really interest me. I want mine. My own.

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/8/2007 11:10:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn This brings up a really significant question to me then. Having been owned before and trained several times by several different dominants, does that make me LESS suitable now as a submissive because I'm already used baggage that's been trained and would take too much time for someone to have to go through all of that labor when she could start off fresh with a new subbie from the "Just in" selection they got in at Wal Mart? I don't think that's what we're saying. Experience is generally a good thing, as long as it doesn't mean that when the new domina tells you to do something this way, you respond "no it should be done that way, because mistress X trained me that way." Training is great, but submission doesn't require experience in my opinion; it simply requires willingness/eagerness/obedience. Just my opinion. M

DiannaVesta -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/9/2007 7:12:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 No. I brought a submissive/slave into My home once that was trained by a Domina---we spent 6 months arguing about how to do things," his way was right", "she was a true life Domina and knew the old ways"---pffttt after 6 months, I put his trained ass back on the train. *If I want someone pretrained to that extent, I will call Merry Maids.* *Nice new pic by the way Dianna.* lol- thanks I've had that happen. Trust me if I sent you someone that I said was trained he'll BE TRAINED. Now I have guys that have trained and I think they are pretty good but have not met them myself. IMO you invite them for the day, give them task and see how they do. They leave after a few hours and if they've done well you invote them back. If they don't forget them

MisPandora -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/9/2007 7:13:34 AM)
Unless it was for the purpose of travel (say, I'm going to an event in XYZ city and that subject is there) then no. Those sorts of casual arrangements don't help me achieve my current goals of finding a suitable subject for an ongoing relationship.

MisPandora -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/9/2007 7:19:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn This brings up a really significant question to me then. Having been owned before and trained several times by several different dominants, does that make me LESS suitable now as a submissive because I'm already used baggage that's been trained and would take too much time for someone to have to go through all of that labor when she could start off fresh with a new subbie from the "Just in" selection they got in at Wal Mart? No. I reconsidered what I posted in response to DV but let my answer stand as is. I want the subject to have some experience and some exposure to BDSM. I'm not going to be his first ride on the roller coaster so he can have his ride and say, "Cool, thanks, I wanna go try another one somewhere else." My issue comes from this subject coming thinking he's "trained" and that he needs no more training or bending/molding/shaping because he's "trained" by someone with a great deal of experience. (In other words, I'd take serious issue with a subject trained by me running off and resisting further training from another woman simpy because he was trained by me. That's nonsense.) I simply don't have any need for a casual submissive in my life right now.

DiannaVesta -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/9/2007 7:57:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Is your question to see if there is a market base for a new enterprise? No, not really. I am going to post trained male info at my site for free but some of these guys I have not met but they are willing to offer no strings service. I'll send it out on my newsletter at my site. I have primary slaves that I train online, phone and in person. I spend time with them and I often allow them to see others. My relationship with them is somewhat causal, although they are my property, they remain that until I release them. Then I train males to serve others but its up to them to prove themselves and stick with the program. The only thing I vouch for is that they have taken 3 months of training and that they seem to have followed the instructions. I’m pretty good at assessing someone. Anyhow, the training that is required is this. Must be actively training for at least 3 months before considered for anything Spiritual training is a MUST- they build an altar, they meditate, etc. daily. Primary slaves learn Tantra. They must study massage & cooking. They must stick to a healthy diet and report weekly. Do drugs, no alcohol at all and they ask permission for everything. No masturbation at all without permission. There are also other rituals depending on what I am training that slave to do. I may contact a friend in another state to ask if he can come over to perform a task for her and then grade him. This could be a task like cleaning, cooking, and massage. I might even ask him to seek someone out that he can practice on that he trust to communicate with me or freely offer this to someone he knows. Could they lie? Sure. They do anyhow but I have a good solid program and if they really stick to it 150% they will certainly reap the benefits. The biggest problem I always see is consistency. They start off gun hoe then lose focus. I won’t even take a male serious until after that 3 month mark. I’ve done this way too many years to not know what I’m doing. I enjoy training males and I also enjoy hooking them up with women. I enjoy watching their lives change and how they can enhance their lives through proper integration. I LOVE the excitement of a woman that comes in contact with a well trained male.

DiannaVesta -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/9/2007 8:06:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn (responded to just the last post, not to the content of the last post) What I'm finding interesting about this thread is something that's being hinted at but not said, spoken around but not solidified. The first post asks if someone would be interested in spending time with a well trained submissive. A lot of responses have indicated a negative response, stating that they would not want to have to go through the work of "retraining" this submissive. This brings up a really significant question to me then. Having been owned before and trained several times by several different dominants, does that make me LESS suitable now as a submissive because I'm already used baggage that's been trained and would take too much time for someone to have to go through all of that labor when she could start off fresh with a new subbie from the "Just in" selection they got in at Wal Mart? Because having read the responses in this thread, it gives me the impression that if I ever want to attract a potential partner again, I may have to lie my ass off and say I've had zero experience as a submissive or slave and that I'm all wide eyed and bushy tailed to learn these new things that I have no idea of what they might be. I'm finding this thought very interesting, and quite reflective on what I perceive may be one of the problems I may have been observing. That isn't so. If a submissive told me he was trained and approached me correctly it WOULD get my attention. If he followed the steps it WOULD get them in the door. What he did after he got there would determine if he stayed or not. Training is really hard work or at least what I expect from training. If someone is even part of the way there I'm all over that! lol Damn right I get paid or receive tribute (in some form or another) for training. I do not train for free hardly EVER. If they want to exchange something thats fine too but I will be damn if I'll exhast myself over a slave that might not even be there in 2 weeks. Even the slaves I have that HAVE reached the level of spending time, visits, me visiting them, etc. contribute to my lifestyle. Damn right and I wouldn't have it any other way. This is not about money but a question to see if I could turn on some super nice guys to women that might like to try something new.

thetammyjo -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/9/2007 8:34:43 AM)
It would depend on the circumstances for me. If this was the slave or submissive of someone I knew, I'd be very open to inviting that boy (or girl) into my home for a day or evening or whatever. If it was someone I didn't know very well, I'd want to do some fact-to-face meetings first. I'd be most open to the offer though in a public venue to be honest like at a play party or munch. That would allow me to get to know the person more. I've very protective of myself and my house and those in it. I don't open it up to most people very readily.

AAkasha -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/9/2007 8:40:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn (responded to just the last post, not to the content of the last post) What I'm finding interesting about this thread is something that's being hinted at but not said, spoken around but not solidified. The first post asks if someone would be interested in spending time with a well trained submissive. A lot of responses have indicated a negative response, stating that they would not want to have to go through the work of "retraining" this submissive. This brings up a really significant question to me then. Having been owned before and trained several times by several different dominants, does that make me LESS suitable now as a submissive because I'm already used baggage that's been trained and would take too much time for someone to have to go through all of that labor when she could start off fresh with a new subbie from the "Just in" selection they got in at Wal Mart? Because having read the responses in this thread, it gives me the impression that if I ever want to attract a potential partner again, I may have to lie my ass off and say I've had zero experience as a submissive or slave and that I'm all wide eyed and bushy tailed to learn these new things that I have no idea of what they might be. I'm finding this thought very interesting, and quite reflective on what I perceive may be one of the problems I may have been observing. That isn't so. If a submissive told me he was trained and approached me correctly it WOULD get my attention. If he followed the steps it WOULD get them in the door. What he did after he got there would determine if he stayed or not. Training is really hard work or at least what I expect from training. If someone is even part of the way there I'm all over that! lol Damn right I get paid or receive tribute (in some form or another) for training. I do not train for free hardly EVER. If they want to exchange something thats fine too but I will be damn if I'll exhast myself over a slave that might not even be there in 2 weeks. Even the slaves I have that HAVE reached the level of spending time, visits, me visiting them, etc. contribute to my lifestyle. Damn right and I wouldn't have it any other way. This is not about money but a question to see if I could turn on some super nice guys to women that might like to try something new. I can relate to the idea that there's no such thing as a free lunch for a submissive vying for the time of a busy dominant women. I get so many emails all offering service, there's simply no way to weed out those that are serious vs. those that want an instant fix. One of the easiest ways to cut down on that by 50% I have found is just tell them to email me in 10 days with a detailed introduction - most forget about it. They want instant gratification. But regardless, there must be some exception to the rule, a man you are interested enough in that you will not require him to go through the same process? I can see that it makes sense when approached with one liners or blind offers of submission, ("I want to be your slave. How can I serve you?") - but when a man really interests you on a deep enough level that you want him to keep pursuing, isn't it worth mutual effort? There's a guy on this site I am smitten with right now, and I can't stand it if I don't get an email from him once a day. I am going slow and careful and don't want to screw it up, because I want nothing more than to take this to the next level. I don't require him to wait a week to email me, join my web site, or do anything else to prove anything; I'm the one sending him a gift next week. Sometimes, it's fun to be the one doing the courting, and I always leave myself open to that possibility if the right treasure comes along. Now, that doesn't mean he gets a free ride from at least 50% of the work, and since I work hard, he has to work hard also. No lazy subs are allowed. He does everything I ask him to do, he makes time when I need, and he has followed my tasks up until this point; but when interest is there, it's not "training" so much (as in, the guy is interchangable), it's pleasurable (for me) because it's in my way, to push my buttons. I guess the other thing is that a guy doesn't ask for things out of the gate in terms of his own fantasies, which immediately puts me in a "what's in it for me?" mode (when, clearly, there's nothing in it for me, if I don't know him or have a connection). Akasha

thetammyjo -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/9/2007 9:04:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn (responded to just the last post, not to the content of the last post) What I'm finding interesting about this thread is something that's being hinted at but not said, spoken around but not solidified. The first post asks if someone would be interested in spending time with a well trained submissive. A lot of responses have indicated a negative response, stating that they would not want to have to go through the work of "retraining" this submissive. This brings up a really significant question to me then. Having been owned before and trained several times by several different dominants, does that make me LESS suitable now as a submissive because I'm already used baggage that's been trained and would take too much time for someone to have to go through all of that labor when she could start off fresh with a new subbie from the "Just in" selection they got in at Wal Mart? Because having read the responses in this thread, it gives me the impression that if I ever want to attract a potential partner again, I may have to lie my ass off and say I've had zero experience as a submissive or slave and that I'm all wide eyed and bushy tailed to learn these new things that I have no idea of what they might be. I'm finding this thought very interesting, and quite reflective on what I perceive may be one of the problems I may have been observing. Experience in my opinion can be a good thing if the person knows that things will not be the same from one person to the next. Someone who rejected my formal training program because he'd been owned in the past or had been previously formally trained wouldn't go any further than that information. It isn't a matter of training but of attitude. Attitude is only one part of what I use to evaluate someone. There are lots of factors and if I had to list them in an order of importance it would be difficult for me. Several are deal breakers and attitude is one of them -- distance, age, political beliefs, and moral/ethical code can be other breakers.

LadyPact -> RE: Ladies- Would you? (8/9/2007 9:56:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta This is addressed towards the dominant ladies on this board. Subs can also give their opinions and feed back but the question is primarily directed towards women. If you could spend time with a well train submissive man with no ties, would you? This man would be reasonably trained as a domestic and open-minded enough to try new things. After some initial contact he would arrive at the place of your choosing and be ready to serve you at any capacity you see fit, respecting limits, of course. There would be no ties, just a chance for you to experience a well train submissive male. He could cook, clean, give massage, whatever you want. He is your slave for the day. Let me elaborate some more. I have nearly 20 years experience in female domination. I thoroughly train males in protocol, manners, services, etc. If you knew a sub was trained by someone experienced, such as myself, would you consider a meeting? It would not matter if you were a novice or experienced Domina. I’m curious. Thanks, Dianna Would I? Yes. However, you'd be amazed with the conditions I would have in doing so. It most certainly would be a place of My chosing, and that most certainly would NOT be My home. That is a whole can of worms right there and I'm sure anyone with common sense can figure that out. There are other events/locations that the scenerio would still play out effectively, even to include the use of domestic skills. Also, the sub/slave would have to come prepared to do more than the frilly stuff. In other words, if it's not a good match with My sadistic side, it probably isn't worth My time or effort. Since I have interest in casual play, that would definitely have to be part of the content of his 'services'. Since it would be just for a day, I'm sure I could handle any of the "but I was trained this way" issues that would come up. I figure that anyone who's been trained worth a damn knows that Dommes and their preferences vary. If nothing else, if he's been trained well, he'll know when to shut up when he's told.

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