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aplayfulsub -> RE: Getting to know someone/being "trained" (8/13/2007 1:03:58 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinman1960
There was a time, not so long ago in this lifestyle, when there was training - of both Dominates and submissives - and training was required of each individual by the local BDSM community in order for a person to be accepted as a local member. What we see now-a-days on the net is nothing like the old days or the old school BDSM community I grew up in. With the popularity of the net, things have changed and we have become more acceptable of ideas and practices which were not acceptable 20 yrs ago. Gone are the apprentiships required of wannabe dominates; the safety training and submissive training of would be Dominates by the elders of said community... But, before the training, the persons character was completely examined - sincerity questioned, and someone within the local community invited you to join. For the most part, this is all but gone -
I wanted to say this is not true. But I do not know how it is everywhere else. It is not true where I live. And it is not true with the Master that I am getting to know on the other side of the country. But that is part of why I am drawn to him.
At first we were going so fast. He offered me a training collar and I acepted. But then quickly I realized my mistake. I did not realize the weight or responcibiliy of accepting a collar, any collar from a Master. I had not yet made the decissions that I needed to make first and I was still talking to other Dom/wanna be's/ Masters. So I talked this over with him and the collar was retracted.
I have now chosen this Master. And we are getting to know each other. I gained some respect for him because of this incident. And I am now working towards a training collar again with him.
The community I belong to trains subs/slaves and Dominants. Tops/bottoms. There are those that have been in this community for many years. And they help teach the rest. We also take care of each other. I have told them about my choices. And they want 3 references to check into for me. So not only is a community like this good for training. It is also good for the people in it as well. No empty promises. Responcibility for your actions and words. Sure not everything works out. But it is all a part of learning and teaching each other.
So it might be that it is not this way in general overall. But communities who train, Masters who train, subs/slaves who train do still exist and hopefully this type of community is growing and not dwindeling away.
aps
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