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Hello, new and need to talk/learn/ear an opinion Please! - 7/27/2007 8:18:06 PM

Invisibleme

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Joined: 5/2/2007
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Hello, I am new here. I don't know where I fit in all of this. This is my husbands life, that was a big part of his life before we were married. I'm not understanding the lifestyle very well, and am trying to figure out where I fit in. I posted a very long journal entry on my page, trying to explain the situation, as I am very lost. Maybe someone can help me make sense of my fucked up head. Thank you in advance

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RE: Hello, new and need to talk/learn/ear an opinion Pl... - 7/28/2007 4:15:12 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

e someone can help me make sense of my fucked up head. Thank you in advance
</image/profile.gif> Profile </image/block.gif> Report | Post #: 1 </image/asc.gif>
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invisable,

That was a long jounal entry, but I did get throught it.

My thoughts are via a email.

CP

(in reply to Invisibleme)

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RE: Hello, new and need to talk/learn/ear an opinion Pl... - 7/29/2007 8:12:18 AM

Invisibleme

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Thank you Prince, I'm sure that you are right for that to be a start of the changes. One's head is all powerful, and most people are so very lucky to not be so aware of things, or not lucky...however one chooses to look at it. As much as I am blessed with my mind, it is also my downfall. I find that some of the things that my husband speaks to me about, have quite fascinated me because of the mind issue. He speaks of powerplays, and that seems like something that fits the scenerio. Yet, I have driven him to the point where he is refusing to play anymore, so therefore I can't learn from him. In my ignorance, and naivete, I embarrass him...and it breaks my heart. He says I need to shut my mouth, and not speak as I feel at times...yet I feel that I need to be able to express whatever I feel.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

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RE: Hello, new and need to talk/learn/ear an opinion Pl... - 7/29/2007 10:56:33 AM

LadyLynx

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Why do you feel that you are embarressing him? Does he say so? I mean if he is embarressed about you not knowing what's what, then he needs to get over it. Maybe seek couples counceling? If he is saying "shut your mouth" or anything like that, that is pretty negative and at the very least he needs to work on a more positive way to ask you to be quiet. Are you being to blunt or interruptive when he says that? if so then you should work on conversational skills.:) Are there any activities that you do together? other then sleep or sex that is. like bowling,dancing, golfing, etc. Do you have friends? individually or both. discuss this with them, ask for advice. I would concentrate on your marriage for now, strengthening it, and then maybe when your marriage is more secure you can explore bdsm together.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Invisibleme)

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RE: Hello, new and need to talk/learn/ear an opinion Pl... - 7/29/2007 1:48:08 PM

MoodDomme

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Some ones are better left alone. Than trying to help them. I just tried to do this.

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RE: Hello, new and need to talk/learn/ear an opinion Pl... - 7/29/2007 5:29:31 PM

Invisibleme

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MoodDomme

Some ones are better left alone. Than trying to help them. I just tried to do this.

Which some ones are better left alone please?

(in reply to MoodDomme)

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RE: Hello, new and need to talk/learn/ear an opinion Pl... - 7/30/2007 7:42:58 AM

Invisibleme

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Hi Lady...I feel I am embarrassing him because he says so. I always try and speak carefully, because somehow I do manage to embarrass him. I think the ex wife used to tell him he had a problem, an addiction. He does not say Shut your mouth in a bad way, not never. He thinks that maybe I should leave some things unsaid, for the sake of his/others feelings. I am very careful about what I say to people (sometimes too careful), but I do feel that part of a healthy marraige is saying what you feel. We have always valued our openess and honesty together. I feel that this part of our relationship is not open for discussion with family and friends.How does one explain, plus that would really embarrass him. That is why I found my way here. I do agree that our strengthening our marraige is more important then bdsm is right now. He got upset though, and dropped it all, and now I feel as if I have taken away a part of him. When he used to love to play around and spank me if I was at the kitchen counter or wherever...now he doesn't even do that. That never bothered me. Most of it has never bothered me, I just don't get it. He says he is done with all of that, and that doesn't seem right.

(in reply to LadyLynx)

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