fantasies and when to keep quiet

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GhitaAmati -> fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 9:11:28 AM)
When is it good and healthy to tell your partner about your fantasies and when should you cover your mouth in duct tape? Unless of course duct tape is one of your fantasies...but put petroleum jelly on the lips first cause it really hurts coming off...unless of course its the pain you really want...but I digress...... So you all are fairly aware that my Sir and I have a pretty open relationship..and last night we were discussing things we havent done that we would like to try...and I just happened to mention that I had a fantasy about one of his friends...he was OK with it honestly..but Im wondering if I should have kept my mouth shut on that one....

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 9:22:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati When is it good and healthy to tell your partner about your fantasies and when should you cover your mouth in duct tape? Unless of course duct tape is one of your fantasies...but put petroleum jelly on the lips first cause it really hurts coming off...unless of course its the pain you really want...but I digress...... So you all are fairly aware that my Sir and I have a pretty open relationship..and last night we were discussing things we havent done that we would like to try...and I just happened to mention that I had a fantasy about one of his friends...he was OK with it honestly..but Im wondering if I should have kept my mouth shut on that one.... The moment you worry about what to share and what not, then you're going to have problems. Now, there are appropriate TIMES to share- just after waking up is NOT the time to get bouncy about a CBT fantasy you've had forever for me. But relationships are about being with EACHOTHER- not cultivated versions of eachother. Openness on all levels is essential.

feastie -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 9:25:32 AM)
Ghita, There isn't supposed to be anything you'd keep from Sir, isn't that right? LOL, truth said, your Sir knows you well enough to know that you've got a lot of things floating around in the head of yours. Who knows, he might decide to invite his buddy over so you can all play.

GhitaAmati -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 9:28:21 AM)
yea...see...thats what im scared of feastie...lol.... and thanks LA, what you said makes alot of sense...

Mercnbeth -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 9:35:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati When is it good and healthy to tell your partner about your fantasies and when should you cover your mouth in duct tape? this slave wasn't in a good and healthy relationship when she held back that sort of information. Master knows every perverted detail...besides, the duct tape is His to use as He sees fit, not the other way around.[:)]

GhitaAmati -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 9:42:05 AM)
I think part of my problem is..( i dont know if "problem" is really the right word for it though) is that as open as I am about emotional things, I ve never been one for talking openly about sexually explicit things..im starting to get better, but talking about them, and hearing others talk about them, has always been a touchy subject with me...

came4U -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 9:50:29 AM)
I have a hard time 'talkin' dirty' too. and I never want to reveal fantasies (that, I feel, would make me less of a sub and selfish). I'm vierd. can you maybe make a game out of it? Let him 'cum' you into telling? or a lil 'pain' you into disclosing? that would make me rip of the mouth duct tape real fast LOL. btw, are we thus responsible for what blurbs out at that point? evil grin

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 9:55:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati I think part of my problem is..( i dont know if "problem" is really the right word for it though) is that as open as I am about emotional things, I ve never been one for talking openly about sexually explicit things..im starting to get better, but talking about them, and hearing others talk about them, has always been a touchy subject with me... You should talk to my partner, he's the king of throat clearing and tooth pulling when it comes to sharing his inner fantasies. You don't need to go from A to Z in a day, a month, a year or even a decade. You just need to keep making progress and don't withhold when you get the chance. You don't have to be comfortable sharing, you just have to share.

cumulus -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 10:02:09 AM)
- Are you in a stable, committed relationship? - Are you both open to new experiences, sexual or otherwise? If yes to both, then a blessing on your house, Ghita. Let fly your darkest and wildest desires. Anything you can dream of can and should be shared openly between you. If not, then yeah. You should have kept the lid on that one.

ToysAndTies -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 12:41:56 PM)
In my opinion, there is no such thing as too much honesty. If you tell him, talk about it, and move on that's one thing. It seems worse if you don't, because then the idea grows and it becomes bigger than it is; when it does finally come into conversation, invariably, one will ask "how long have you felt this way" and that answer best be as short as possible a period of time.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 1:23:33 PM)
You should never feel afraid to share things. Master may not enjoy the same fantasy I do or want to do it but he always indulges me in listening. I do the same for him. There is nothing I feel I have to hold back.

ownedgirlie -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 1:39:59 PM)
I have never shared a fanstasy where he reacted in shock/disgust/surprise/rejection. I've given him some eye opening doozies, too. No matter what I share, however wild, weird, or "gross," his reaction is one of calm interest followed by some questions to explore what's behind the fantasy, followed by having me explore it further in my mind through writing. Some things he has incorporated into what he does with me, some things he hasn't, and some things he won't. But I realized I can come to him with anything and it's safe. I am required to tell him everything. As beth said, I don't get to control the duct tape :)

onmykneesforhim -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 1:47:38 PM)
My personal opinion is that some fantasies should remain just that, A fantasy.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 1:49:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: onmykneesforhim My personal opinion is that some fantasies should remain just that, A fantasy. Right, but should you SHARE them all with your partner? Or share parts of them?

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 2:08:29 PM)
I personally would have kept my mouth shut as you put it....but thats just me.

nyrisa -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 2:49:51 PM)
My husband and I have never hesitated to say "boy, I'd love to do (random perverted action) to (name of acquaintance)." Then we laugh and go about our day. 99 times out of 100, the acquaintance is not available as a partner in reality, and the fantasy stays just that. If it is someone that might be into the idea, then we discuss it for a while, and see if the opportunity arises. Either way, it does not cause either of us to blink an eyelash. Now, we do consider each other's families and boss to be off limits, because the potential for disaster there is just too dauntin.

MissAidan -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 2:56:45 PM)
came4U, my former Master and teacher used the "cum" trick to get me to admit to any number of things that I could only bring myself to hinting around at. On the flip side, I used pain a couple different times with my boy, and that also proved quite effective. Then again, he does have an interogation fetish,lol.

onmykneesforhim -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 3:02:00 PM)
I dont think so. It becomes a reality, and sometimes reality is better off not trying to change. Nothing, can live up to a fantasy. I believe that is what makes them that. Telling someone a story about something is one thing, But trying to incorporate it into the real life senerio can be tricky, even dangerous. quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: onmykneesforhim My personal opinion is that some fantasies should remain just that, A fantasy. Right, but should you SHARE them all with your partner? Or share parts of them?

BoiJen -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 3:08:14 PM)
I once heard a woman I've admired at a distance say..."My fantasies are just realities I have yet to live" or some such thing. I hold true to that. I'ma freak and yeah there's some fantasies I'd rather not have as realities but for the most part I'm totally up for what my imagination brings me. And I can share that openly with the Lady in Charge...cuz She's a freak too. And we do a lot of planning or getting around to our fantasies...I mean...if we really want to do them...why not? And for me reality is WAY more intense than fantasy. So living up isn't an issue boi

BoiJen -> RE: fantasies and when to keep quiet (7/27/2007 3:12:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati When is it good and healthy to tell your partner about your fantasies and when should you cover your mouth in duct tape? this slave wasn't in a good and healthy relationship when she held back that sort of information. Master knows every perverted detail...besides, the duct tape is His to use as He sees fit, not the other way around.[:)] There's an excellent point that I think many struggle with that I don't believe has anything to do with fantasies for the most part...as s-types...are we really the ones who get to decide when to disclose information? Isn't that witholding if we do? Is it manipulating the situation by retaining information for ourselves? Is it manipulation to talk inappropriately and then say you never listen to me"? Such a fine line we walk huh?

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