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Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 11:30:44 AM

SexyRed

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I had a thought relevant to the last experience I just went through from the bad boy warning thread two days ago.

It has to do with mindfucks. I state clearly on my profile that I am interested in the mindfuck and I get a lot of inquries on what I mean by it.

To me, our brain is the most erotic organ and I am very attuned and aroused by reading superior written words or hearing something erotic or intriguing spoken to me. That being said, I am a big fan usually, of the mindfuck when it is used to create fantasy fulfillment for both parties involved.

What I am finding, is that many consider mindfucks as a way to fuck with you (and not in a good or fun way) and manipulate so that they get what they want in the short term.

What is your experience with mindfucks (and I am sure this has been posted before, but is fresh for me right now) and mindfuck YOUs? My additional question now is how to discuss fantasies that are meaningful to you without giving up too much of yourself INITIALLY and having it used for this purpose, other than for fun?

Thanks in advance to serious replies. If it is an unserious reply, at least be funny.

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 11:43:32 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Good mindfucks are like any good scene- at the end, everyone should be happy and fulfilled by the experience.

They generally ARE a type of edge play, not for beginners, not for beginning relationships. Use your good judgement and be pretty sure that the other person has everyone's best interests in mind and that you both agree on what exactly those interests are beforehand.

For me the definition of a great mindfuck is to cause real doubt. Maintaining the line of doubt, where the person is going from "No they wouldn't" to "Would they?" and still bring them back happy and secure on the other side.

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 11:47:00 AM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Good mindfucks are like any good scene- at the end, everyone should be happy and fulfilled by the experience.

They generally ARE a type of edge play, not for beginners, not for beginning relationships. Use your good judgement and be pretty sure that the other person has everyone's best interests in mind and that you both agree on what exactly those interests are beforehand.

For me the definition of a great mindfuck is to cause real doubt. Maintaining the line of doubt, where the person is going from "No they wouldn't" to "Would they?" and still bring them back happy and secure on the other side.

That is what I thought LA, but I am finding that so many do not understand the use of mindfucks. Like I said, I feel this way because I think not calling someone back, making them wait, etc. is a form of mindfucking that the person thinks they need to do to keep you off balance about the relationship.

And that is not my idea of fun. I prefer honesty and openess.

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 11:49:02 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Eh fucking with someone is a great way to make them dependent on you, too confused to question, and too scared to move. It's not at all a surprise for it to be clumsily used by dorks who want to call what they do forming a relationship.

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 11:50:45 AM

SexyRed

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yeah, it just pisses me off when I think I am so freaking smart and yet fell for the mindcrap.

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 11:58:06 AM

asubmissiveheart

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I am puzzled, do you want or not want to be mind fucked?
Why state it on your profile, if you don't want to experience it?
You can state you like mind fucks, but you may not enjoy the mind fucks you experience.
As a submissive, you will not be able to dictate what the mind fucks, are.
Be careful what you ask for.

(in reply to SexyRed)

Post #: 6

RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 11:58:23 AM

CreativeDominant

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I agree with what has been said here. As a matter of fact, even though the mindfuck can be divided into 2 camps....good and bad...I almost hate referring to the bad mindfuck as a mindfuck. There are several reasons: if the term is used often enough in that way, then...like the term manipulation...it comes to stand only for the negative aspects of what can be a great erotic, intellectual, sadistic tool.

I too prefer openness and honesty and good communication. I also prefer doing mindfucks with someone that I feel close to and not with someone that I am just starting out with because they ARE complicated (if done right) and they are a form of edge play. Done with someone who does not know a lot about you, it can go from "He wouldn't...would he" to "If he really thinks he is going to do that, I have another think coming for him"...with the submissive being mindfucked getting more and more confused/angry/hurt rather than aroused and curious and anxious (in a good way).

(in reply to SexyRed)

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 12:07:12 PM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

I am puzzled, do you want or not want to be mind fucked?
Why state it on your profile, if you don't want to experience it?
You can state you like mind fucks, but you may not enjoy the mind fucks you experience.
As a submissive, you will not be able to dictate what the mind fucks, are.
Be careful what you ask for.

I appreciate your question. Let me clarify: I state that I appreciate a good mindfuck and do not expect someone to be a mind reader. Whenever I speak with anyone about this topic, I always explain just what I mean, that is an erotic way of communicating and enhancing fantasies.

I clearly verbalize that I am not into anything cruel or using the mindfuck as a way to manipulate things above and beyond the play itself.

Does that make sense to you? As for being careful about what one wishes for, it is not wishing if you make things clear to someone upfront; the problem occurs when the other person does not play the game as you like and worse, when they agree that that is what mindfucks are to them, but that is not true.

As for being a submissve and not being able to "dictate" what the minfucks are, perhaps I should be stating that I love when someone can use words to stimulate me.

Perhaps the term mindfuck is too broad or narrow for what I am into.

The specific point of this thread is those who use mindfucks in a destructive way.

< Message edited by SexyRed -- 7/24/2007 12:09:51 PM >

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 12:09:05 PM

ExSteelAgain

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It all depends on what you are calling mindfucks. Not phoning someone as you mentioned or rejecting them as a way of making them want you more is one form that I assume you don't want. On the other hand, if I scare the hell out of her, telling her what I'm going to do to her and act as if I am starting to do some of it, she may become very afraid, submit to all my evil ways and be a happy girl when it is all over.

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 12:11:11 PM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

It all depends on what you are calling mindfucks. Not phoning someone as you mentioned or rejecting them as a way of making them want you more is one form that I assume you don't want. On the other hand, if I scare the hell out of her, telling her what I'm going to do to her and act as if I am starting to do some of it, she may become very afraid, submit to all my evil ways and be a happy girl when it is all over.

You got it exactly. That is just what I meant. The first is bullshit and the second sublime.

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 12:18:55 PM

witchywoman313

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I tottaly agree with everything thats been said so far. A good Dom will know the diffence between a good mindfuck, and messing with you in a bad way. I love when my Husband messes with my head, but even in our most edgy of edgeplay Mindfuck scenes I still knew that he loved me, and trusted him, even though I had quite a few catharctic tears running down my face at the time. Still there are Assholes out there and useing caution is always a good thing. I used to atomaticaly discount any Dom or Master who couldnt understand my need for caution and going my own speed. It sounds like (from reading your other thread) that you found out what this guy was like before you met RL, if thats true count yourself lucky in at least that regard. Dust yourself off take a deep breath and move on.
Good luck
Witchywoman313

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 12:22:51 PM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: witchywoman313

I tottaly agree with everything thats been said so far. A good Dom will know the diffence between a good mindfuck, and messing with you in a bad way. I love when my Husband messes with my head, but even in our most edgy of edgeplay Mindfuck scenes I still knew that he loved me, and trusted him, even though I had quite a few catharctic tears running down my face at the time. Still there are Assholes out there and useing caution is always a good thing. I used to atomaticaly discount any Dom or Master who couldnt understand my need for caution and going my own speed. It sounds like (from reading your other thread) that you found out what this guy was like before you met RL, if thats true count yourself lucky in at least that regard. Dust yourself off take a deep breath and move on.
Good luck
Witchywoman313

To clarify, I met him in real life very quickly; the mindfucks started great and then his behavior changed shockingly in a matter of 3 days.

That is why I questioned the validity of all the initial mindfucks. They were obviously designed to seduce me, they did and when he had enough, he fucked me over by not communicating.

That is a mindfuck that I think you cannot see coming!

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 12:53:48 PM

ELUSIVE1

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I love a good mindfuck--but I don't consider erotic writings/words as a mindfuck at all..the best mindfuck I ever experienced was when my then 'master' kidnapped me from a local grocery store parking lot...did the blindfold and gag, tied me up and took me to his house...then put me in a corner, tied up still...and ignored me for more than an hour...I heard him on his PC typing, then flipping channels on the t.v. ...acting as if he was totally oblivious to me...then when he did acknowledge my presence and take my blindfold off, he immediately started into an interrogation scene...that was 2 years ago and I still talk about...it ended VERY well...I do love a good mindfuck....

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 12:55:50 PM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

I love a good mindfuck--but I don't consider erotic writings/words as a mindfuck at all..the best mindfuck I ever experienced was when my then 'master' kidnapped me from a local grocery store parking lot...did the blindfold and gag, tied me up and took me to his house...then put me in a corner, tied up still...and ignored me for more than an hour...I heard him on his PC typing, then flipping channels on the t.v. ...acting as if he was totally oblivious to me...then when he did acknowledge my presence and take my blindfold off, he immediately started into an interrogation scene...that was 2 years ago and I still talk about...it ended VERY well...I do love a good mindfuck....

That DOES sound delicious...you have a point, perhaps I should just say I love erotic talk which seems to not be what most call a mindfuck.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 1:09:14 PM

Phin

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A domme who is a good friend of mine was gathering toys for a scene topping me. She hosts some wonderful play parties. She came out of the toy closet with an armload of various floggers canes crops and sensation toys. When she lays the out on the table a double-headed spiked mace fell from the pile, "Damn you weren't supposed to see that..."

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 1:16:57 PM

slaveish

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I have difficulty with trust. I found, with Master, that being mindfucked well - going from being nervous / scared / confused and ending with trust and warmth was something I enjoyed. It is very edgy and could go very very wrong with someone with little to no experience being in the control position.

His mindfuck was to take me to PetSmart, put me in a dog collar, and make me participate in the dog obedience class outside the ring. He (M) would have his pointer and clicker and I would perform each command along with the dogs. At then end, he said I was to crawl to him, sit up, and beg for a cookie.

He was mindfucking me at the time. It was horribly embarrassing to think about, horrifyingly demeaning and ~way~ outside my comfort zone. In the end, he wound up stroking my hair while I leaned against his high bed. It was a wonderfully bonding experience and he gained more of my trust. I don't know how to articulate the "why" part - it is a feeling more than intellectual reasoning.

< Message edited by slaveish -- 7/24/2007 1:17:27 PM >

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 1:19:04 PM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

A domme who is a good friend of mine was gathering toys for a scene topping me. She hosts some wonderful play parties. She came out of the toy closet with an armload of various floggers canes crops and sensation toys. When she lays the out on the table a double-headed spiked mace fell from the pile, "Damn you weren't supposed to see that..."

LOL now that sounds fun!!

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 1:21:00 PM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

It was a wonderfully bonding experience and he gained more of my trust. I don't know how to articulate the "why" part - it is a feeling more than intellectual reasoning.

You do not have to articulate the "why". Feelings do not have to be articulated, it is just important that you felt that way, safe, bonded and trusting.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 1:22:48 PM

MistressMadame

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Yes, from My expereince Mindfuck is when you fuck with someone's mind, but not in a good way. you make them doubt and question everything you say, do. they are made to analyze your actions for fear they are being tested, etc. As for what you want, I have heard it called Mindsex--the act of arousing the Mind which then stimulates the senses versus arousing the senses to stimulate the Mind.

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RE: Mindfucks vs. Mindfuck YOUs - 7/24/2007 1:25:20 PM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMadame

Yes, from My expereince Mindfuck is when you fuck with someone's mind, but not in a good way. you make them doubt and question everything you say, do. they are made to analyze your actions for fear they are being tested, etc. As for what you want, I have heard it called Mindsex--the act of arousing the Mind which then stimulates the senses versus arousing the senses to stimulate the Mind.

Thank you. That is much more descriptive of what I have in mind.

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A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

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