Honesty And Reflection (Full Version)

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LATEXBABY64 -> Honesty And Reflection (7/23/2007 4:30:10 PM)

I was in a mirc chat room a few weeks back. we got into this disucssion about honesty.. how can you tell someones honest? so i said everyone lies about something it is what they lie about that you have to decide you can take or not.. I got Booted from the room cause have the room said they never lied rofl. there are a couple of books out that are very cool that talk about this subject more in buisness but just a very interesting take have you ever lied.. i really was not going that fast honestly i was not i did not see the sign rofl....



RCdc -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/23/2007 4:32:47 PM)

Not everyone lies.
But not everyone tells the truth either.
Generalisations are the most dangerous lies of all.
 
Peace
the.dark.



Rover -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/23/2007 4:33:25 PM)

I have always found it curious that so many folks have unblemished records for complete and unambiguous honesty online.  It's not nearly so easy to create a new email address and profile in real life.
 
John



DrkJourney -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/23/2007 4:50:15 PM)

I'm sure there are plenty out there, but I've never heard of anyone that did tell some kind of "untruth".  Including myself.

As far as profiles and talks on here go, I try to be as open and honest as possible...why lie?  I mean if this is a person that you are going to meet, and possibly have some kind of relationship with...they are going to find out any way, and starting a friendship or any kind of relationship with a lie is pretty much spelling disaster.

besides....it's hard to keep all that stuff straight.....it's much easier just to tell it like it is



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/24/2007 11:27:22 AM)

I lie. I've noticed that I do it in mainly two knee-jerk instances: one, if a small lie with help me stay "out of trouble" until I can fix the situaiton and, two, to protect someone close to me. Since I know I do this, I make a concerted effort to really examine what's going on. I make a real effort to NOT do this...but sometimes, I feel a lie IS warranted. I know that counter to the popular "you should never lie" but, I'm being honest (pun intended).

Master Fire



Arpig -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/24/2007 11:30:30 AM)

I won't go so far as to say that everybody lies, I will say I think everybody has lied at some time or another



nyrisa -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/24/2007 12:25:51 PM)

When a conversation is going on way too long, but I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings, I have done the "Oh, I have to go now, someone is at the door." On later reflection, I have realized that what I should have said was, "It has been great talking with you, but there are things I need to do now." This would have been the truth, and would have served the same purpose, but when I was feeling stressed, the words just didn't come.

I do tell the truth in things that matter, always, though. So if a tiny lie to let me get to what I need to do, and avoid hurting another person's feelings means that I am not a strictly truthful person, then so be it. It is the truth, after all.



tricia -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/24/2007 12:30:54 PM)

I think most people tell the occasional lies.  It depends on what kind of lie it is.  I've said, "i'm calling off sick" and laid at the beach several times.  I've said, "the check is in the mail" more times than i care to remember.
 
I don't necessarily believe anything less than full disclosure is a lie.  Or in lies by omission.   I don't owe just anyone that kind of honesty.  I call that being aloof or cautious - whatever - but i don't call it dishonest.



windchymes -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/24/2007 1:24:29 PM)

Anybody who says they always tell the truth is lying.



slaveluci -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/24/2007 9:11:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia
I don't necessarily believe anything less than full disclosure is a lie.  Or in lies by omission.   I don't owe just anyone that kind of honesty.  I call that being aloof or cautious - whatever - but i don't call it dishonest.

I was going to bring up omission.  In some cases I consider that being dishonest but not in all.  When someone says they "never" lie, I think they must be very rude.  Absolute, total honesty would be very brutal.  One would always tell everyone exactly what they were thinking, exactly how they think they look, exactly what they find annoying about them, etc.  Hiding behind being "truthful" to be rude and cruel never sat well with me.  "Well, I'm just being honest."  BS.  Using the truth as a weapon is more wrong, in my eyes, than not always being absolutely, totally honest and open.  

Lying, to me, is blatantly deceiving someone.  Whether this be by commission or omission, I think that's wrong.  But then total honesty can be just as hurtful in some cases.  When faced with the option of a white lie or really hurting someone's feelings, I'll take the lie everytime, I'm afraid.  That's just me..........luci 



Level -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/25/2007 2:54:33 AM)

I'll repeat what I said in another thread; either it's a lie, the truth, or a mistake.
 
Some feel stressed when confronted with being totally honest, but deceit brings its own stress, often moreso. Even in a good cause. You can say pretty much anything, but in a kind way.
 
The ideal situation is two people, both desiring truth, willing to do the work to get and give it, including hearing difficult things. If you know the other person cares about you, and you're both willing to work through difficult truths, a kind of intimacy that is nothing short of amazing is possible.



tricia -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/25/2007 3:20:38 AM)

I agree, Level, and in relationships - there is never a good reason to be dishonest.  In fact,  in my relationships with my sisters/family, for instance - they come to me because i am totally honest.  Good or bad.
 
I'm not going to tell you everything about me upon meeting or talking.  In some cases honesty should be earned.  Just like respect.  Someone brought up profiles - i shudder to think what my profile and others would say if we were all being brutally honest.
 
"Hi, my name is tricia, i'm dramatic and a bit high strung.  I cry over Hallmark commercials and adore the geico lizard......."  um, no, i don't think so :)
 
Yes, Lucy, there is a distinct difference between deliberately deceiving someone and choosing not to say anything at all.  I'm also not going to pretend to be anything other than what i am.  Which is a bit dramatic and high strung..... well, you get the point :)
 
Have a good day, guys.



Level -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/25/2007 3:32:24 AM)

I like the little lizard, too. And the cavemen. [:D]
 
Give me mundane, offbeat, and unusual any day, just give me the truth.
 
As for honesty being earned, honesty is something I do for myself; lying or deceiving diminishes me.
 
Have a good day yourself, tricia [;)]



feastie -> RE: Honesty And Reflection (7/25/2007 9:23:54 AM)

I have trouble lying.  I really do...even in times when I should just keep my big mouth shut.  If I'm asked a direct question, holy moly I have trouble with answering with anything but the truth.   Not to say I haven't lied, because I have...not to say there are times I should have lied, because I should have. 

Honesty is one of the most important things I look for in someone.  In turn, I try to practice the golden rule...I am not going to lie to you because I don't want you to lie to me.  Now, if I could just find someone that felt the same about it ;)



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