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Call me a loon, but that seems fairly logical

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ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

It's the internet and those behaviors are not limited to collarme.

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Use it as a useful weeding technique.
Master Fire

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ORIGINAL: Decanter

[8|] What I find rather peculiar here is that it seems when one offers friendship initially as opposed to immediate play, it appears to abruptly end any potential for further communications. To offer ones servitude/Dominance to another at the onset, to me sounds a bit foolish. Considering you've no idea to whom you're serving/dominating; (unless of course you solely seek on-line play); wouldn't it serve beneficial to get to know one another first? Call me a loon, but that seems fairly logical....Y/your thoughts?

Spankingly,
Decanter

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ORIGINAL: Decanter

[8|] What I find rather peculiar here is that it seems when one offers friendship initially as opposed to immediate play, it appears to abruptly end any potential for further communications. To offer ones servitude/Dominance to another at the onset, to me sounds a bit foolish. Considering you've no idea to whom you're serving/dominating; (unless of course you solely seek on-line play); wouldn't it serve beneficial to get to know one another first? Call me a loon, but that seems fairly logical....Y/your thoughts?

Spankingly,
Decanter

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Depends on the person, what they want, and how picky they can afford to be. I don't do the whole "friends first" thing and I never have. Probably never will. Every relationship of mine starts on the premise of "Well, I can't see myself not being willing to marry/commit my life to you 5 years down the line so let's see where this goes and if it works it works. If it doesn't work, well we had fun!"

I, personally, don't understand this idea of "getting to know each as friends" as though it's the logical course of action. It's a logical course of action, to be sure, but you can do the same thing while in a relationship taking things slow. Valyraen still hasn't collared me at over a year and a half, he didn't tie me up with anything I couldn't get out of for at least a month or two into our relationship, and we didn't make the move to be fully 24/7 until six months or so into our relationship.

Please don't misunderstand - if being friends first is what works for you in your relationships, go for it and don't settle for anything else. But understand that it is simply a way of doing things and others don't prefer it. [:)]

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ORIGINAL: Decanter

All very true indeed and deeply respected. There is no one true construct for any relationship save for beginnings and whatever happens before it ends, if it ends. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but from either perspective, the basic concept is the taking of time for things to develop in whatever way that relationship is determined, (ie. your 2nd paragraph). However, I do not see feasibility in a relationship that stems from "hi i'm joe, hi i'm jane, i'm the Dom/mme your the sub/slave period", without taking the time and work required for that to develop. Personally, I feel the same applies to friendships and some matches simply do not yolk. Nevertheless, like you said..."If it doesn't work, well we had fun." Thanks again ever so kindly for the perspective.

Decanter

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ORIGINAL: Celeste43

There's a huge difference between saying you aren't interested in anything but friendship and saying you're incredibly nervous and need to wait a month or so before you could consider meeting and talking more intimately. How exactly are you saying not yet and could a man misread that as not ever? Women tend to use indirect language and men use direct, it's easy for them to misinterpret what we say and vice versa.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I feel that a relationship has stages but that one can be in a very real relationship while it goes through those stages. To me, the friends period just doesn't appeal. I don't kiss friends, I don't have sex with friends, I generally don't scene with friends, so I don't see the point. I'd rather find out if we work in those ways upfront since I'm not sticking around if we don't.

Then again, I also very rarely date friends. I'd rather jump into a casual relationship and see where it goes. I've found that most people don't agree with me, but it's worked wonderfully for me.