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RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/15/2007 9:19:19 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		suprised no one has mentioned this yet...

just because i am a submissive doesn't mean i am your submissive...

and personally, until i agree to submit to you, you are my equal and you can go find another sandbox to play in if you don't like that...i have plenty of offers from people that don't mind at all...

good luck with that instant submission...just add water, right?

chelle
House Infernus

Edited to add: i have been a member of the Rover fan club ever since i was able to accept logical, rational thought....don't ask him if he remembers me from before then...i don't want to know

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 7/15/2007 9:20:57 PM >

(in reply to octavia)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/15/2007 9:28:24 PM   
shortnsoft


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline 		You seem to be forgetting that you are not deserving of anyone's respect and submission until you earn it.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/15/2007 9:32:35 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		I have to agree with the previous posters because it takes time to find someone who is the right type of submissive for you.  While your profile sounds very demanding, these are the areas that you feel you want out of a sub; however, training does take time.  I have also found that in order for me to fully submit to a dom, I need to be comfortable with myself; however, you may consider taking in subs who have slave tendencies.

Good luck in finding that sub for you.


(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/15/2007 9:51:22 PM   
subfemale27


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/11/2007
Status: offline 		i have often wondered the same thing about this... how can a Dom/Domme feel that they totally own a sub/slave after one or two conversations?
it is natural to be submissive, but...no one can force me into something that i do not want/desire.

_____________________________

the sting of His whip~ the welts from His crop~ the warmth of His kiss~ the click of the lock~ assures me i am His most cherished possession...

(in reply to corsetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 12:38:16 AM   
wwwkevinww


Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
Status: offline 		I was reading another thread and I think this will ring true for alot of submissives.  They want a Dom who they are instantly attracted to and can feel his dominance.  There seems to be alot of people who actually want to have a say in who they are with.  It seems to me that if your going to try and be equals when you first meet and decide if you really want to be with that person, your not really going to feel his dominance until either he uses force in nonconsent or you consent in a real situation and then these personals are pointless, as online you can never feel submissive....

I'm a nice dom, I don't believe in non-consensual, and I don't email a bunch of people saying "Kneel B*tch"...

I was reading one woman's remarks and she was like she tried a bunch of vanilla relationships and tried to work it into bdsm but they were destined to fail based on how they started.....


(in reply to subfemale27)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 1:11:58 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

I was reading another thread and I think this will ring true for alot of submissives.  They want a Dom who they are instantly attracted to and can feel his dominance.

there is more to dominance than "power"...if you cannot Master yourself, how the heck are you gonna do anything for me...if i can witness you having self control and manners...it goes a long way!
quote:


There seems to be alot of people who actually want to have a say in who they are with. 

wow, what a concept................
quote:


It seems to me that if your going to try and be equals when you first meet and decide if you really want to be with that person, your not really going to feel his dominance until either he uses force in nonconsent or you consent in a real situation and then these personals are pointless, as online you can never feel submissive....

yea....thats the idea...you don't feel his dominance/your submission until you decide to...otherwise it is nonconsensual...whether its possible to do so online is up to the people involved...example...i was having burning when i went pee, i was told by someone i am talking to that i should enjoy the pain for him because he has not been able to give me pain yet...and it worked...have we met yet? no...have we made plans meet? yes...do i expect a collar when i get there? hell no...of what worth would it be if it was given out like a lei when you get to hawaii? but do i feel a sense of submission to him? a little bit...oh and one last bit...does he get twisted when i decide to take it back at this stage in the game? uhhh no...otherwise he would be a pretzle by now
quote:


<snip>
I was reading one woman's remarks and she was like she tried a bunch of vanilla relationships and tried to work it into bdsm but they were destined to fail based on how they started.....


if you are looking for a pure SM or M/s or D/s relationship...sure, doing the whole nilla dating thing isn't going to work....if you're lookling for a...for lack of a better phrase, well rounded relationship...in my experience...it doesn't work because you can't be "on" 24/7...your power exchange dynamics don't necessarily dissapear...but sometimes, real life...illness, work schedules, children, etc...get in the way...so you have to have some skills on how to live without the outward signs of Dominance and submission

i believe i have rambled on enough....lol
chelle

(in reply to wwwkevinww)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 3:45:57 AM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I know you are right.  In some cases I do need more development time.  But on the flip side a sub should not expect to dictate to the Mistress what should    happen either.  

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 3:55:01 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPleasure

I know you are right.  In some cases I do need more development time.  But on the flip side a sub should not expect to dictate to the Mistress what should    happen either.  


Suggestion - Maybe they are not dictating?  Maybe they are communicating clearly in the beginning process of negociation.  That would be a healthy attitude and doesn't make them less of a submissive for doing that.  At least they are being up front in their abilities and needs.  This particular statement suggests to me that you do not comprehend that s-types have needs, desires and feeling too. (Godz I sound like a fortune cookie)
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 3:55:57 AM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Thats a good point.   I wanted to meet people to experience different things.  However, after trying that I feel the need to have one or two regular subs.  Most of the guys that understand what I want and dont have a problem with it live several states away, have a wife, girlfriend or want me to relocate to them.    I know Im going to have a match....Im in no rush. 

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 4:00:29 AM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLebeaux

I digress... Try easing off the Dominate throttle a bit and for God's sake be a real person with *real* expectations. Keep in mind, too, that Your subs are real people too.

Best Regards,
~Master LeBeaux


Master Geppetto,  I'm a real sub... a real sub..   thank you Blue Fairy
Sub Pinocchio

(in reply to MasterLebeaux)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 4:07:35 AM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Ive had great conversations with potential subs that are very direct on both ends. Concerns and issues are discussed openly....thats how I like it.  

Its the ones that seem so ready but when its time to deliver...something always pops up or they want to tell you what should happen when you meet. 

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 6:26:01 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		i dont know specifics about how they are trying to tell you what will happen when you meet....i know i have certain "rules" about a first meeting.....public place, no play, no i wont come pantiless.....i mean a first meeting needs rules........is that what youre talking about?

and your change in how youre expressing your frustration has impressed me......not that you care, but i think youve already grown a bit

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 6:28:11 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		didn't you read that part in your Handbook for Dom/me that we submissives don't do the "on your knees, bitch/slut" after receiving your first message?

perhaps you're looking for a doormat and not a submissive - good luck


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 7:40:26 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Someone around here sports a siggy that sums up the point I think you are trying to make:
something to the effect,  " I said i was a submissive.. not a good submissive."  Not an exact quote prolly but you get the point.


That would be me, Octavia, and thank you for thinking of me! lol

My profile also begins with the phrase : Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance. I know its a Military ancronism, but I strongly believe it is a great BDSM acronism also. Negotiating, discussing, communicating before submitting doenst make anyone any less of a submissive or slave, its always best to get all the facts before taking a collar, and if im not wearing your collar, I might be polite but im not going to jump at your every whim, and the last time I checked, I only have one around my neck. Both sides need to calmly discuss what they want from a relatinship before taking the plunge, and even then sometimes things dont work out the way we want. Life sucks, take a number and try again.

ghita~

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to octavia)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Hard Headed and you say your a ...... - 7/16/2007 8:04:46 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		You know, i read your profile. Over the years i've read a lot of dominants profiles. And personally met quite a few dominants as well.
 
I do not know you so please do not take this too personally, it is more of a general comment on/to dominants in general.
 
It is fine and well to make your demands for respect and obedience.
 
Now ask yourself this" Other than doing the afore mentioned, am i showing the subbie who i speak with a reason to want to submit to me, to give me authority over them?"
 
"What am i doing to earn their submission and respect or even make them think i am the kind of person they would want to submit to?"

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 35
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