RE: What hurts the most out here to you ?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/15/2007 5:54:02 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

I get around that problem by putting my pictures on my profile

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/15/2007 8:29:03 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Now that actually doesn't bother me because not everyone is attracted to the same things. Plus my self esteem isn't in the least bit affected by pixels on my laptop. What gets to me is someone who just disappears...someone who doesn't have the balls to say "You're not what I am looking for" or "we have too many differences" or whatever. I wouldn't say it hurts exactly...just pisses me off.

Absolutely.....I hate it when a dom encourages you to communicate but they don't bother to tell you that there will be no future contact or play because of incompatibilities. I guess you would call them gutless wonders!

(in reply to bandit25)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/15/2007 8:29:07 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
Status: offline

I am thinking the OP was complaining
not so much that the 'contact' had died the sudden death,
rather that it was the lack of the minor courtesy ('closure')
of being ended Explicitly,
rather than via termination of further communications.

Lack of minimal courtesy and/or Cowards way Out.

As another has noted, is a(n annoying) blessing in disguise,
as so much better to discover sooner than later,
what likely would be the inevitable end behaviour of such a 'prospect',
and worse the pain with longer investment.

_____________________________

Black Water Dragon

(in reply to Arpig)

Profile

Post #: 23

Gutless Wonders - 7/15/2007 8:31:32 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25
Absolutely.....I hate it when a dom encourages you to communicate but they don't bother to tell you that there will be no future contact or play because of incompatibilities. I guess you would call them gutless wonders!

Gutless Wonders... and Domlies... LOL!

Perfect!

_____________________________

Black Water Dragon

(in reply to corsetgirl)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Gutless Wonders - 7/15/2007 8:55:51 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear bandt25, kiyari, Ladies and Gentlemen;

When I am in contact with someone, it depends on how freely someone shares their interests independent of BDSM. To me, a relationship is more than just the playing BDSM factor, I have other interests in addition to it. So, when the communications go into other areas, sometimes the capatability is a departure into a different direction. So, this isn't a match that can be a compromise.

I also have people who contact me and although not a match and not compatable; I will maintain a dialog with them. I am willing to be civil and as helpful as possible, such as offering areas to look into where they can find what they seek. I call it networking.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to kiyari)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/15/2007 10:28:42 PM

hideandseek

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/13/2007
Status: offline

I've been hurt several times by people on this site that don't believe my profile and tell me I'm a liar. Not just that but they do it in extremely rude and hurtful ways. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it gets under my skin for the rest of the day. :(

_____________________________

"For three years I had roses and apologize to no one."

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/15/2007 10:37:25 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

After a few days or a few weeks of chatting, I dont think I would be too hurt if smeone up and disappeared. My theory is always their loss, not mine.
Now, there are a few people I have been chatting with for months, and some years (one of which I am on IMs with right now) who I would be devistated if they just up and vanished.
Does it hurt to be rejected? Yeah, momentarily. But you get over it quickly. Anyone who looks at my picture and decides I am not worth getting to know becaue I dont fit their physical preferences saves me the time and energy of forging a relationship that will fall apart anyway.
Just my 2 cents
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/15/2007 11:04:26 PM

possom

Posts: 46
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

After a few days or a few weeks of chatting, I dont think I would be too hurt if smeone up and disappeared. My theory is always their loss, not mine.
Now, there are a few people I have been chatting with for months, and some years (one of which I am on IMs with right now) who I would be devistated if they just up and vanished.
Does it hurt to be rejected? Yeah, momentarily. But you get over it quickly. Anyone who looks at my picture and decides I am not worth getting to know becaue I dont fit their physical preferences saves me the time and energy of forging a relationship that will fall apart anyway.
Just my 2 cents
DV

Well said!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/16/2007 3:52:05 AM

Areflectionofyou

Posts: 258
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

when i was single , i met someone from collarme, took the time while on vaca. to meet him and he decided to no longer talk to me , i wrote him and asked why. He said i wasn't as thin as he wanted...this shocked me because i had sent numerous pics to him even before meeting. oh well im glad it didn't work out because im very happily living with my Master a year and a half later.
sometimes good things happen when bad things occur.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/16/2007 10:18:13 AM

slaveofKaos

Posts: 143
Joined: 2/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

That has happened to me a few time and the first time or two it hurt a lot then I realized I had to tell a few people that I was sorry they just werent what I was looking for and I felt extreamly bad. Looks arent everything to me in fact they dont mean all that much I go based mainly on what im looking for and personality, but I did come to the realization that I shouldnt feel bad for saying "sorry your not what im looking for" nor should I feel bad when someone says it to me because the fact remains that physical appearence does make a difference to some people and not everyone likes the same things. I do however find it very rude when they just dissappear they could have more common curtisy for others.

_____________________________

slave jodi

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/16/2007 11:48:12 AM

shyinini

Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

I was just haveing a conversation with someone who had been talking to someone for a while and they finally shared pictures and she never heard from them again.
It's always a knee jerk to say, ya this happened to me too. And yes, I have done it to others. Doing it to others always makes me like a schlop cause I know I have more integrity than that.

It's rejection, I think, when it is taken personally. It's hard not to.

I think if I were still looking and I had several emails between him and I, I would send a pic of myself before too much further along. I would think it would cut down on the amount of hurt feelings I'd have if I initiated it.

While some may say this us a common experience, it sdoes not mean your not suppose to feel something when your rejected.My question deals with what has hurt you in the past or even now?

The whole rejection and abandonment issue is always close to my surface of emotions. Caused by insecurity of course.
I deal with it cause I want to and need to.

Sir's sweetheart

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/16/2007 2:47:43 PM

butchy14

Posts: 16
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline

What has hurt me the most out here is the desire to give myself totally to my Miss. and her not ready to accept it. That leaves one lost and confused.

_____________________________

To live completely is to give completely

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? - 7/16/2007 2:59:49 PM

wwwkevinww

Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

I get around that problem by putting my pictures on my profile

It would be nice if more women actually put more photos of themselves, full body etc. I generally want a woman who is healthy, mentally, physically, and emotionally...I can live with a woman who cries or gets upset occasionally, I don't want to live with a woman who cries or whines every day

I use to get emotional attachments before meeting someone, its kind of pointless.

(in reply to Arpig)

Profile

Post #: 33