RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (Full Version)

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Arpig -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/15/2007 5:54:02 PM)

I get around that problem by putting my pictures on my profile



corsetgirl -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/15/2007 8:29:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Now that actually doesn't bother me because not everyone is attracted to the same things.  Plus my self esteem isn't in the least bit affected by pixels on my laptop.  What gets to me is someone who just disappears...someone who doesn't have the balls to say "You're not what I am looking for" or "we have too many differences" or whatever.  I wouldn't say it hurts exactly...just pisses me off.


Absolutely.....I hate it when a dom encourages you to communicate but they don't bother to tell you that there will be no future contact or play because of incompatibilities.  I guess you would call them gutless wonders!



kiyari -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/15/2007 8:29:07 PM)

I am thinking the OP was complaining
not so much that the 'contact' had died the sudden death,
rather that it was the lack of the minor courtesy ('closure')
of being ended Explicitly,
rather than via termination of further communications.

Lack of minimal courtesy and/or Cowards way Out.

As another has noted, is a(n annoying) blessing in disguise,
as so much better to discover sooner than later,
what likely would be the inevitable end behaviour of such a 'prospect',
and worse the pain with longer investment.



kiyari -> Gutless Wonders (7/15/2007 8:31:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25
Absolutely.....I hate it when a dom encourages you to communicate but they don't bother to tell you that there will be no future contact or play because of incompatibilities.  I guess you would call them gutless wonders!


Gutless Wonders... and Domlies... LOL!

Perfect!



LadyHugs -> RE: Gutless Wonders (7/15/2007 8:55:51 PM)

Dear bandt25, kiyari, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
When I am in contact with someone, it depends on how freely someone shares their interests independent of BDSM.  To me, a relationship is more than just the playing BDSM factor, I have other interests in addition to it.  So, when the communications go into other areas, sometimes the capatability is a departure into a different direction.  So, this isn't a match that can be a compromise.
 
I also have people who contact me and although not a match and not compatable; I will maintain a dialog with them.  I am willing to be civil and as helpful as possible, such as offering areas to look into where they can find what they seek.  I call it networking.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



hideandseek -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/15/2007 10:28:42 PM)

I've been hurt several times by people on this site that don't believe my profile and tell me I'm a liar.  Not just that but they do it in extremely rude and hurtful ways.  I know it shouldn't bother me, but it gets under my skin for the rest of the day.  :(



DiurnalVampire -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/15/2007 10:37:25 PM)

After a few days or a few weeks of chatting, I dont think I would be too hurt if smeone up and disappeared.  My theory is always their loss, not mine.
Now, there are a few people I have been chatting with for months, and some years (one of which I am on IMs with right now) who I would be devistated if they just up and vanished.
Does it hurt to be rejected? Yeah, momentarily. But you get over it quickly.  Anyone who looks at my picture and decides I am not worth getting to know becaue I dont fit their physical preferences saves me the time and energy of forging a relationship that will fall apart anyway.
Just my 2 cents
DV



possom -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/15/2007 11:04:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

After a few days or a few weeks of chatting, I dont think I would be too hurt if smeone up and disappeared.  My theory is always their loss, not mine.
Now, there are a few people I have been chatting with for months, and some years (one of which I am on IMs with right now) who I would be devistated if they just up and vanished.
Does it hurt to be rejected? Yeah, momentarily. But you get over it quickly.  Anyone who looks at my picture and decides I am not worth getting to know becaue I dont fit their physical preferences saves me the time and energy of forging a relationship that will fall apart anyway.
Just my 2 cents
DV



Well said!    [:D]



Areflectionofyou -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/16/2007 3:52:05 AM)

when i was single , i met someone from collarme, took the time while on vaca. to meet him and he decided to no longer talk to me , i wrote him and asked why. He said i wasn't as thin as he wanted...this shocked me because i had sent numerous pics to him even before meeting. oh well im glad it didn't work out because im very happily living with my Master a year and a half later.
sometimes good things happen when bad things occur.



slaveofKaos -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/16/2007 10:18:13 AM)

That has happened to me a few time and the first time or two it hurt a lot then I realized I had to tell a few people that I was sorry they just werent what I was looking for and I felt extreamly bad. Looks arent everything to me in fact they dont mean all that much I go based mainly on what im looking for and personality, but I did come to the realization that I shouldnt feel bad for saying "sorry your not what im looking for" nor should I feel bad when someone says it to me because the fact remains that physical appearence does make a difference to some people and not everyone likes the same things. I do however find it very rude when they just dissappear they could have more common curtisy for others.



shyinini -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/16/2007 11:48:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

I was just haveing a conversation with someone who  had been talking to someone  for a while  and they finally shared pictures and she never heard from them again.
It's always a knee jerk to say, ya this happened to me too. And yes, I have done it to others. Doing it to others always makes me like a schlop cause I know I have more integrity than that.
 
It's rejection, I think, when it is taken personally.  It's hard not to.
 
I think if I were still looking and I had several emails between him and I, I would send a pic of myself before too much further along.  I would think it would cut down on the amount of hurt feelings I'd have if I initiated it.

While some may say this us a  common experience, it sdoes not mean your not suppose to feel something when your rejected.My question deals with  what has hurt  you in the past  or even now?

 
The whole rejection and abandonment issue is always close to my surface of emotions.  Caused by insecurity of course.
I deal with it cause I want to and need to.
 
Sir's sweetheart



butchy14 -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/16/2007 2:47:43 PM)

What has hurt me the most out here is the desire to give myself totally to my Miss. and her not ready to accept it. That leaves one lost and confused.



wwwkevinww -> RE: What hurts the most out here to you ? (7/16/2007 2:59:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

I get around that problem by putting my pictures on my profile


It would be nice if more women actually put more photos of themselves, full body etc.  I generally want a woman who is healthy, mentally, physically, and emotionally...I can live with a woman who cries or gets upset occasionally, I don't want to live with a woman who cries or whines every day

I use to get emotional attachments before meeting someone, its kind of pointless.



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