slavegirljoy
Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006 From: North Carolina, USA Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dawntreader i will add this though... i can see and have been in such a place where my insecurities kept me from being "in the moment" and of giving my attention completely to another. i have inadvertantly made the person complimenting me question their judgement as i flipped the compliment with my own negativety about it. Inspite of the fact that i am working on this issue, i do believe this is rude and selfish to another...i see this. Which is why i like beth's answer for me, personally...i will probably never be the type to look in the mirror and say "girl, you are so beautiful!" But if i can let go of that part of my ego and become less self-centered with an image that will never be good enough thru my own eyes and see myself thru the eyes of others that care for me and "believe" what they see... that will be a worthy accomplishment~ That's a wonderful desire to have but, you are still putting your self-esteem in the hands of another and what happens when that person is no longer in your life, as in they die or change their course and leave? Where does that leave your self-image? Do you then start looking at yourself through a new person's perspective? That's why i say, to be truly secure in who you are and to be able to carry that secure identity with you through every up and down of this life's journey, you need to have a positive self-image that comes from within you and isn't reliant on what another thinks about you. Of course, it's wonderful to know that the person you care about and who cares about you thinks you're beautiful and lets you know that. That's a wonderful feeling but, again i say, that unless you believe within you that you are the most beautiful person that you were meant to be, the compliments and adoration of anyone else is fleeting, at best. For your self-image to be secure and lasting, it needs to be "good enough" for you. That doesn't mean that you have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "girl, you are so beautiful!", although, that's not a bad thing to do. But, to see yourself through your own unfiltered and honest eye and see the true beauty that makes you special, including the physical fact that aging is a beautiful part of this life, and really appreciate all that you are, that, to me, is the most potent antidote to feeling insecure and to no longer be at the mercy of the opinions of others, be they good, bad or indifferent. Having a secure feeling about myself and knowing that i am being the best me that i can be, at this particular time in my life and with the particular physical, as well as internal characteristics, that make me unique, is what allows me to not only accept, but even enjoy my Master's sadistic humor and humiliation that He so enjoys putting me through, because i don't worry about what others will think of me. Feeling secure about myself allows me the freedom to laugh at myself with ease and not burst into tears and feel bad about myself just because i am being made a spectacle of in public. It doesn't hurt my feelings, in the least, what anyone else thinks of me. Because i feel secure about myself (and i take care of myself for my own sake instead of someone else's), i don't worry about how i will look when i'm 55 or 60 or 75. Because i feel secure about myself, i don't worry that no one will want to have anything to do with me just because i don't look like a supermodel or even like i did when i was 23. Because i feel secure about myself, i don't feel the need to try to elicit compliments to pump-up my ego. Because i feel secure about myself, i don't get embarrassed about my naked body being looked at, in the full light of day, because i don't dwell on fears of, "What is He going to find wrong with my body?" or, "Will He still want to touch me, if i'm not pretty enough?" These are things that i used to do all the time, because of my insecurities. i no longer feel a need to do any of that anymore. And, THAT is a very good feeling of freedom. i believe that we build our own cages, with our own insecurities, that hold us prisoner far tighter than anything that anyone else could ever put us in. slave joyOwned property of Master David
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