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Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/7/2007 10:29:09 AM

LeatherBentOne

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Do you think that same-sex meetings are safer than the risks one takes when heterosexuals meet for the first time? Why or why not?

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/7/2007 10:40:10 AM

MaamJay

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Well it depends what you mean by meeting? A coffee meet in a shop ... maybe same sex is a little easier, a bit less obvious ... neither should be particularly unsafe.

As far as first play ... nope ... anyone is equally vulnerable when they're all tied up!

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/7/2007 10:42:28 AM

Level

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No, because crazy behaviour, duplicity, and violence don't recognize gender boundaries.

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/7/2007 10:53:31 AM

queencaliph

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I think all first meetings carry the same risk and we should all practice a degree of safety when meeting someone the first time. Whether same sex or hetero. Meeting in a public place the first time is usually the safest bet.

< Message edited by queencaliph -- 7/7/2007 10:54:52 AM >

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/7/2007 11:00:31 AM

Elorin

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No, I don't think first time same sex meetings are safer than different sex meetings, whether you are gay, het, or bi.
I don't meet anyone for the first time without my boyfriend or someone else in my company for the meeting, with the rare exception of a lunch date where everyone in my office knows where I was going to be and that I'm expected back in an hour, providing a very thorough "safe call" system for me. Even then, I only have them in crowded highly public venues, and hang back to make sure the other has left so I can't be followed to work afterwards.

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/7/2007 11:02:54 AM

stateira

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

No, because crazy behaviour, duplicity, and violence don't recognize gender boundaries.

ditto

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/7/2007 11:15:21 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
No, because crazy behaviour, duplicity, and violence don't recognize gender boundaries.

Thank you.

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/7/2007 12:13:42 PM

Arpig

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What on earth gives you the idea that the gender of the person you are meeting in any way influences the safety of the meeting???

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/7/2007 4:29:37 PM

LeatherBentOne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

What on earth gives you the idea that the gender of the person you are meeting in any way influences the safety of the meeting???

I didnt say I did. That's why Im asking the opinion of others here ~ to see what they think.

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/8/2007 3:32:24 AM

subboi3382

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no, at least for males meeting males. I would think that u could be meeting some crazy homophobe, although i have never had any probs wiht it

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/8/2007 8:19:22 AM

wewalkamongyu

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The only reason I can think of that would make sama same sex meeting safer is that two men or two women would pollibly be more equally matched in size and strength if one attacked the other. With a hetereosexual meeting, the man would usually be stronger and harder to fight off.

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/8/2007 8:26:40 AM

DiurnalVampire

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Id actaully venture to say that same sex meetings can be more dangerous. Why? Becasue for some reason, people do not seem to think the same safety devices for opposite sex meetings should apply. Its pretty common, at least fem-fem meetings that thre is ths idea that Oh, I am meeting another girl so I have nothing to worry about. I have knowna lot of lesbian femsubs that think that way. It concerns me becasue I know myself. I personaly am far more dangerous than most men these girls could ever hope to meet, and if I can be considered a threat under the right circumstances then it would be foolish not to consider everyone the same way. There are entirely too many things that could factor into any meeting atany time, gender nonwithstanding that first meets should ALWAYS be public.
And lets not forget tat until you are face to face with someone, you dont necessarily even know their gender, we hear enough stories online about men playimg women and whatnot, so a meeting that you set up in private with someone who has lied about their gender is still a meeting. In public, someone who lied about their gender is less likely to actualy agree to a meeting in the first place (my biggest and most long standing RED FLAG) In private, you are trapped with whomever shows up, regardless of the lies they may have told to get you there.

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/8/2007 9:59:34 AM

orfunboi

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My first instinct when reading the question was why would it be any different, after all people are people. Then i thought about the homophobes out there who would love an opportunity to kill a fag for god and now i have to say it might be more dangerous for a gay male. i also think there is more chance of a straight female having problems than a lesbian, because i think more men are involved in aggressive attacks than females, ie sexual assaults and kidnappings. There are of course exceptions to every rule and anyone meeting someone else for the first time should be careful and try to use common sense in the situation.

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/9/2007 3:45:08 PM

subboi3382

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yeah that is true, I didnt even think of that. the size issue is a big one for many women I understand (I took a women's studies class)

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/9/2007 4:03:45 PM

pahunkboy

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let me tell you what is online....

same merchandise that has been so in the paper ads 10 years ago.

i never had a problem in the ads. BUT one must be cautious! at the park- a str8 guy wanted to get head while driving. luckily i did NOT get in the vehicle! who knows where i would be....if i would be. a young guy just coming out- might not know that. there is extreme danger if you dont know what to look for. the gay signals are diff the the straight world. i warned at least one man about leaving this 19 yr old kid alone. a married professor at Bucknell University. Damn- i seen him and his wife at the grocery store. she is a knockout!!! why does he do the park??? anyhow- i said nothing. i did not say hi- as she would haved asked "who is that". loose lips sink ships.

on CM unlikely you will meet someone local- at least from my neck of the woods.

i wont move to tim buck too- and a guy that has a good job aint going to move here. so it is mute.

i give up. tho- i welcome-enjoy and savor the great friendships i have found online!!!

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/9/2007 4:04:39 PM

CuriousLord

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

Do you think that same-sex meetings are safer than the risks one takes when heterosexuals meet for the first time? Why or why not?

I feel same-sex meetings are much safer, particularly lesbian meetings. So safe, infact, I believe I will start hosting them in the front room.

And, no. I do not think sexual orrientation is a major factor in safety (outside of the whole STD thing).

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/9/2007 4:08:23 PM

pahunkboy

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ill never forget a message from my best friend. "Roger. a man just died in my bed."

no wallet - no ID. yes- they were having sex.

EXPLAIN that to the police, teh DA, teh family, the neighbors!

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/10/2007 1:48:24 AM

Vendaval

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No, because anyone can fall victim to having drugs in their drink, being tied up, robbed, raped, etc.

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/10/2007 5:09:35 AM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

No, because anyone can fall victim to having drugs in their drink, being tied up, robbed, raped, etc.

excellent point. drugging ild guess is wayy up. the local colleges had that date rape drug circulating...

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RE: Same-sex first meetings safer? - 7/10/2007 5:24:34 AM

SugarMyChurro

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You should all be afraid and not leave your homes until you hear the "all clear" siren.

BTW, the use of date rape drugs is hugely exaggerated - mainly, it's just people claiming it because they were drunk or otherwise out of control. There's lots of pressure for women to not be drunken sluts, but it happens anyway.

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