The Meeting

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Dominic2007 -> The Meeting (7/4/2007 10:53:42 AM)
So, had lots of online chats and lots of telephone chats with my sub. Got as deep as its going to go over the phone and were both liking it. Now looking to meet. Were both very normal people so neutral ground a must but I’m up for ideas as to where - I mean over lunch is the obvious choice but I’m sure more original ideas are out there. Any ideas? Also keen to hear 1st meeting experiences (both sub and Dom pls)- how easy was the D/s thing to slip into in conversation? (We are both complete newbies in real life sense but it works well on the phone so its very exploratory for us both.) Whole thing rather scary but really exciting! D X

Cloudz -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 10:59:04 AM)
First meetings at a lunch spot are fine. You want to pick a place or a time that is not hugely croweded with people listening to the conversation at the table next to them. There are many, many possibilities for a first meet. The zoo, a park, a museum, window shopping in a quaint village, or sitting with a coffee beside a lake. It is helpful sometimes, to not be sitting face to face gazing into one another's eyes, so walking can ease the tension somewhat. I would suggest an activity that both of you enjoy and trying to meet simply as people, and go from there. When you are in a relaxed setting, the conversation will easily turn to mutual interests...of all kinds:) Hope this helps!

Dominic2007 -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 11:10:13 AM)
Very Much - great answer thx

Cloudz -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 11:35:16 AM)
Your very welcome - good luck and let us know how it goes!

slaveish -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 11:47:51 AM)
I met M at his house surrounded by his family, friends, UM's, my UM's, pets. The only thing missing was a couple of circus clowns and a porn star or two. I don't recommend that. But it certainly was original.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 12:16:02 PM)
Some first meetings were awesomely intense with play and sex commencing almost immediately. Some were just greetings, meeting at a party, shaking hands and chatting awhile.

teamnoir -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 2:46:45 PM)
I like parks. They're common, accessible, have other people around so they aren't too isolated, but not so close that you can't talk about intimate topics as would be the case in a crowded lunch room.

Mystique567 -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 3:12:07 PM)
I've had a couple first meetings, all in public and all went pretty well

SimplyMichael -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 3:30:03 PM)
Remember that what is hot on the phone is not in person. Meaning, you reached a level of intimacy and power exchange on the phone that will NOT exist in real life on your first meeting. That isn't the same as saying it won't get intimate and hot right away but be open to the possibility that there will be a bit of "starting over". As for where, depends on your thoughts on where she is at. I have met them in cafes as well as face down and naked. I have had ones in cafes go badly and ones where her first feel of me was my cock in her mouth go well. You never no till later. As for slipping in D/s, remember on the phone more is often better, in person, less is often more. Make her beg for it as in "I am very egalitarian and we just met so I wouldn't presume to order for you...unless you would enjoy that" Make her ask for your dominance first... Anyway, good luck! Let us know how it goes.

slaveish -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 7:59:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Remember that what is hot on the phone is not in person. Meaning, you reached a level of intimacy and power exchange on the phone that will NOT exist in real life on your first meeting. That isn't the same as saying it won't get intimate and hot right away but be open to the possibility that there will be a bit of "starting over". Great point, Michael.

ready4srvce4all -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 8:11:04 PM)
Our first meeting was technically at the airport when Mistress picked me up, and we shared long passionate kisses right there in the airport. We had the time in the car of course, and then to Her house. I met the entire family, including Her mother in law. As far as BDSM, in the chats/emails/phone calls we actually did very little discussion of any of it. I had no expectations of any "play" either when I arrived. But if you are fairly close by (I lived near Pittsburgh, Mistress near Chicago) I would go with the park recommendations. The walking eases some tension, you aren't staring at each other, you can easily work in physical contact that is subtle yet non threatening. Good luck to you, I wish you well.

pashun8flame -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 8:23:22 PM)
i've always tried to make a first meeting someplace public. however, when my first meeting with Master took place, he was a gentleman. Master came to pick me up at my parent's place, He came in and met my parents, then he took me out to dinner at quiet restaurant that seemed very romantic to me.

Slavetrainer2007 -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 9:08:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Remember that what is hot on the phone is not in person. Meaning, you reached a level of intimacy and power exchange on the phone that will NOT exist in real life on your first meeting. That isn't the same as saying it won't get intimate and hot right away but be open to the possibility that there will be a bit of "starting over". As for where, depends on your thoughts on where she is at. I have met them in cafes as well as face down and naked. I have had ones in cafes go badly and ones where her first feel of me was my cock in her mouth go well. You never no till later. As for slipping in D/s, remember on the phone more is often better, in person, less is often more. Make her beg for it as in "I am very egalitarian and we just met so I wouldn't presume to order for you...unless you would enjoy that" Make her ask for your dominance first... Anyway, good luck! Let us know how it goes. These always go well if you leave a big enough tip.

slaverosebeauty -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 9:37:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dominic2007 ...Now looking to meet. Were both very normal people so neutral ground a must but I’m up for ideas as to where - I mean over lunch is the obvious choice but I’m sure more original ideas are out there. Any ideas? MJ an I met at Starbucks after being friends for over 3 yrs; it was very public, low key and relaxed, things progressed from there, to lunch, then to walking around the mall, then later to dinner.. and well... breakfast. Our only expectations were to meet a good friend; after 3 yrs it was time, lol. You could always go and play pool or minigolf, something like that. I am a bit of a traditionalist, so Starbucks that sorta thing is always my preferance, its low key an if I don't along with the person, I can always people watch. quote: Also keen to hear 1st meeting experiences (both sub and Dom pls)- how easy was the D/s thing to slip into in conversation? (We are both complete newbies in real life sense but it works well on the phone so its very exploratory for us both.) MJ an I are both public/private people if that makes any sence. I am a bite more 'public' when online and He keeps a lower profile, in public we are normal people, we can talk about anything, M/s stuff slips into our normal conversation, when we had lunch and dinner, we did take into account who was around, yet, we kept to ourselves for the most part so we could talk. Between MJ an I, we have decades of experience in M/s and in bdsm, yet, for us, being friends for this long and being able to talk about M/s with eachother easily is a great asset, it makes things easier and less intimidating. We talk about vanilla stuff as easily as we do about M/s stuff. Consequently, when MJ an I met, a few people I had worked with before showed up where we had lunch; no big deal, they didn't hear us talking, if they did, oh well. Don't force the M/s talk stuff, it will happen, just keep in mind who is within earshot unless you are both 'out.'

MagiksSlave -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 10:24:33 PM)
Well Master and my first meeting was a bit unconventional, he came to my house to pick me up. he met my Dad my aunt my uncle my older brother (who just happend to stop by) my 2 younger sisters and my dogs ( my mom wasnt home) We then walked to the Dunken Donuts 2 blocks from my house had some coffee and went for a walk. We walked around my block like for a few hourse just talking about everything and anything, it was late at night so no one was around so talking about things wasnt so much of an issue but I felt more then safe as we where out side of houses of people that I knew and not so far from my own house that if something where to go wrong they wouldnt be able to hear my screams LOL So while there werent people nesiseraly outside with us they where close enough that if I needed to shout for help someone would be there to help within secents... Fortunetly Master is one of the most desent men I have ever met, and a few hours Later Master walked me to my front door gave me a big hug saw me inside the safety my house where my family was waiting to hear how things went and went on his way. Magik's slave

LadyHeart -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 10:40:18 PM)
I'm not keen on meeting in cafes. The last time I tried it, the man at the table behind me must have caught a hint of the conversation (or maybe he was just plain nosey) and he leaned back so far in his chair to try and overhear some more than he was nearly sitting in my lap. The prospect wasn't much of a match - I might have been better off with the stranger in the chair behind, lol. :)) LH

jocelyn -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 10:43:10 PM)
Master and I met fairly soon after beginning conversation. Both he and I aren't youngsters, so we were both frank about the first few meetings being straightforward interviews. As a matter of fact, he had a "boilerplate" set of initial questions he sent me after I responded to him on collarme. We proceeded from there. "Where" doesn't matter, and it's probable that "what" doesn't either, just that you're both comfortable and can get to know each other with as few distractions as possible. We gave ourselves the gift of time and it took three full meetings (one for coffee, one long walk on nearby "city" streets, and one interview at my apartment with my daughter close by before I visited Master in his home. One last thing - Master is a security freak and fully expected me to be one, too. After he'd decided to meet, he gave me his full name so I could do what he termed, "my due diligence" in researching a bit of his background and, at the very least, his internet presence. Good luck to both of you! jocelyn

MagiksSlave -> RE: The Meeting (7/4/2007 11:08:03 PM)
Oh yeah and Master and I met after less then 2 weeks of online and phone talk, he wasnt into waisting time online, me I could speak to someone for months or years online without ever meeting unless the other pushed to meet Im rather shy and scared of meeting new people aspecialy from online So meeting Master so soon was a bit odd for me. Im glad though becuase if it was up to me will still would not have met and Now it is nearly a year since that first meeting. Magik's slave

MaamJay -> RE: The Meeting (7/5/2007 1:34:40 AM)
If you pick a cafe, know it well enough to know how far the tables are apart! The further is better of course. Start with regular vanilla getting to know you chat ... about the menu, the weather, whatever! Once you've both settled a bit, 10-15 mins is typical in My experience, then you can gradually slip in some reference to the phone conversations you've had and then you'll be away. I have to admit I'm not mad on walking around a park as I find that distracts Me from the conversation, but sitting on a park bench would work for Me. Keep it simple and good luck! Maam Jay aka violet[A]

MissOchistic -> RE: The Meeting (7/5/2007 2:45:12 AM)
I flew to another country on another continent to meet him, leaving no way to get home for at least a week, at night with very few other people about except a crazy girl I'd never met, and proceed back to his mostly empty barracks building where no one would have heard me scream, with no secondary option for a place to stay, and then get pretty drunk. It went fantastically and the week was a blast. What is complete idiocy for some just works for others.

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