Sinergy
Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
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Hello DeviantlyD,
You have my sympathies for having to deal with the HNGs and other riff-raff which infect cyberspace.
I love sex. I love BDSM. I love ordering food for my submissive. I love having my partner shove me into the closet and do me. I like taking her shopping. I like having intellectual discussions in situations where she is discussing something she knows far more than I, or I am discussing something she is learning from, or perhaps arguing over something we both feel we know everything about. The fact that such discussions generally end with closet time or face down on the floor is an added bonus.
The reason I dont do cyber, dont do internet relationships, am losing my willingness to do long distance relationships, is because I need that intellectual and spiritual connection with my partner. This transcends my need to get my jollies off. My co-workers at the self defense job consider me the most frequently hit on male instructor. The last time we discussed it, several months ago, they told me they admired my restraint. I responded it was not really restraint, it is that I can never overcome the teacher thing as well as the fact that despite my knowing all sorts of things about them, they know nothing about me. If there is no mental connection, there is no physical connection for me.
What I found worked for me in the past was that I stopped viewing the internet, munches, or bdsm venues as the sole venue for finding people to be in relationships with. The woman I was with for almost 6 years was one of the most submissive people I have ever met, and yet considered The Lifestyle to be peopled with deviants and freaks, but flew moth-like around the freaky zone in the bedroom.. I was with another woman for a while who enjoyed having dinner ordered for her and being spanked, but knew nothing about the lifestyle.
I would suggest that you start looking around off-line. The one you are looking for might be right around the corner and not even know why they like to hold a woman's arms over her head while they do her roughly. Or if you identify with the other side, perhaps they wont even know they love to be spanked.
Think of it as a work in progress.
Good luck!
Sinergy
_____________________________
"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"
"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle
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RE: Kink, Sex and Romance - 
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