i let myself go in my fantasies and started to imagine what it is i was missing. i didn't just want to have "normal" sex with the man in my dreams...i wanted him to own me. i wanted to be the flesh he needed to extinguish his ravenous desires. i wanted him to hold me down and gaze gently in my eyes while he shared me with his pack. he would absorb my cries and moans into him then reflect his appreciation caressing my face. when we were alone he would fasten me down by my throat and lovingly give me exquisite pain and treat me with pleasure unimaginable. i would be afraid of him and lower my head to him when he spoke. i am his only one and he is my only owner. he would understand i had more to me than my physical body. he would sit and drink wine while talking to me. i would be important to him and thought of highly. he would be my protector and tormentor and i would feel safe with him.
now with this.....i wonder of what i am becoming. i wonder if i should just keep this a dream and not bring it to the surface. i am ashamed and afraid of these thoughts. what am i looking for.......
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