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Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 7:10:56 AM   
PleaseTieMeDown


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings all,

I have been thinking...

Im 27, and have been on the Internet for ~9yrs now.

I only know about BDSM due to porn on the Internet... and over time have discovered its something im very much interested in.
I never seeked to find kinky porn, i just viewed it "by accident" while viewing other porn which then sparked my interest.

So, im wondering how many other people on here were introduced via the Internet?
Im also wondering if the scene will increase in numbers due to others being introduced to it as i was.

Your thoughts?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 7:14:17 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PleaseTieMeDown
So, im wondering how many other people on here were introduced via the Internet?

I'd say a huge majority of them since 1995
quote:


Im also wondering if the scene will increase in numbers due to others being introduced to it as i was.

I don't think that's even a question anymore- it's pretty confirmed and obvious that it has. 

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1026495/mpage_1/key_internet/tm.htm#1026513
has the internet enhanced or damaged the concept of bdsm?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_355861/mpage_1/key_internet/tm.htm#355867
has the internet killed the true values of bdsm?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_175705/mpage_1/key_internet/tm.htm#175705
Positives and Negatives of bdsm in cyberspace

http://www.collarchat.com/m_152016/mpage_1/key_internet/tm.htm#152016
Online bdsm, help or hindrance?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 7:20:52 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		well sort of....i was introduced to it first in the london club scene, but when i got back to the states i found it again on the internet, and thats when i started to really understand the mental aspects...there was so much to read, and i devoured most everything i got my hands on....i was really glad for such a great resource.

i think it has effected the old leather scene a lot, but i think its a good thing, better toys, more public spaces, more general acceptance of it....i dont see any negatives...but i am sure some one will come along and point them out shorty.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 7:48:58 AM   
angelicslaveMDF


Posts: 43
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		i am now 32...and have been in online chat rooms for 10 years myself...i "stumbled" onto a BDSM chat room...i had heard of it before...and i was curious so i stayed in that room for like 3 years...watching...and talking and learning...i was married at the time...and got out of it...and then seperated and left Him...and went on my way...and met a friend through a vanilla dating site...and He showed me here...and i have been here over a year...and have found a Master whom i love...and think that a lot of people find these sites accidently and people will come on here to find out what its about...it depends on who they run into...and their personality as to how they will adjust the lifestyle to their own life


_____________________________

*thats my opinion and Master says i am entitled to it.*
angelicslaveMDF

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 8:11:18 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Unfortunately, my experience was a little different.

In my time, I was introduced to BDSM by carvings drawn into the walls of a cave in the south of France.  Very rudimentary by today's standards, but hot for its time.

The Internet.  A vast, wondrous thing.  But is it really appropriate as an end-all-be-all one-stop-shopping point for WIITWD?  Unfortunately, no.  You can see pictures and you can see prose and you can put two and two together and come up with 471 or some such odd number.

I'm not much for the modern munch (yes, I predate those as well), but in the end I would have to say that a lot of what helped me get to what I have become is at least seeing (in person) other people doing it (and doing it, and doing it), and they and/or others talking about it.  The psychological and physical and emotional ramifications of what they do, the how-to's of what they do.  From there, I at least realized that two and two are four and that I could go about my business alone or with the occasional group or 3-some and know that I had learned what the Lifestyle is supposed to be about.  And eventually give wisdom to others.

Because you know, even the scratching on the cave walls, hot or not, do not tell you how to get inside someone's head responsibly.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
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RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 9:09:54 AM   
PleaseTieMeDown


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		Of course, im not saying that the Internet is any subsitute for R/L experience.
Ive been on the net (and BBS's before the net) long enough to know to take any info with a few tonnes of salt.

I guess im more interested in how many other people now know about BDSM via accidental exposure on the Internet.

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 9:20:34 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I have never intentionally viewed any internet porn and if it pops up I close it.  I have never rented a porn video.  I've never seen a whole porn movie all the way through. 

Considering my current level of kinkiness without porn; I wonder how damn kinky I would be today had I done those things? *S*

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 9:37:23 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		For some years I chatted online, entirely innocently and mostly about cats! Then I got introduced to cybersex by a vet as a sideline to talking about cats one day. Being in a rocky relationship, I got hooked, lined and sinkered into a new outlet for my sexual energies, and rapidly sought out other chatrooms. One day, a fellow in America suggested I dominate him in cyber. I was a bit nonplussed ... but used my creative imagination and had a go. He was impressed and said I was a "natural". After a couple more times, I decided I needed to learn more, so given my scientific background, research was the next natural step and I devoured whatever I found. I can remember how shocked I was at some things I read about and saw in pictures back then ;-)

One day, My little "sub" was being bratty and I was getting frustrated with him. Somehow a dare arose that if I was to call him on the phone ... he just might settle down and be more obedient. So ... I dialled. I don't mind admitting I was shaking ... so I put on My very best stern teacher voice and spoke strictly to him. WOW ... the effect was amazing. Had a wonderful little phone session, then a bit of debriefing. The absolute awe in his voice when he said "my God! You can control me from half way around the world" sent a tingle down My spine then, as the memory of it still does. It was as if I had come home ... this was Me, this felt so right. And yet, even from those early days as Mistress Jay, I knew there was a part of me that desperately wanted to be on the receiving end too. I'd never heard the term switch ... I just knew I wanted to do both, to be both. One of my former cat chat friends turned out to be very kinky and directed me to a wild chatroom called Barely Legal! Included were some serious bdsmers (and a whole lot less serious ones), plus a very kinky set of others! And there I cut My teeth as MJay and learned a lot on the way.

I can remember My further amazement on discovering that this wasn't all web and cyber fantasy ... real people lived real lives 24/7 like this! That sure piqued My curiosity, even though My first thought was "well, I don't think I could/would do that". But then over time I began to think "But why not? Could I? Would I?" And gradually I did. And here I am, some 7 or so years later, living it full time with Master and actively seeking a full time sub/slave. And happy, very very happy.

I am fascinated by the premise behind the movie "Sliding Doors" even though I'm not sure they did it full justice. One chance encounter ... one chance request ... one chance admission ... and My whole life changed and took a new path. I don't regret it one bit even though it's not all been smooth sailing and I've had plenty of heartbreak and stress along the way. But sometimes I wonder ... if it hadn't happened ... would I have found this some other way? What other me would I have been by now? Who knows!

Yes the internet definitely led Me to bdsm!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 9:40:42 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I'm waiting for the inevitable Old Guard bullshit about how the world was so much better before the internet and now it's just populated by pricks with no honor and insta-gratify subs.  And then next we'll learn about how the old houses made sure that no one ever adopted titles they hadn't been authorized to use.

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 9:43:17 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PleaseTieMeDown
So, im wondering how many other people on here were introduced via the Internet?
Im also wondering if the scene will increase in numbers due to others being introduced to it as i was.

Your thoughts?


Welcome to the boards and to this crazy community.
 
I discovered M/s and bdsm when I was very young {under age 13}, I found a magazine, Gensis, and a magazine, with stories and a few bondage pics under my friend's dad's bed {he had been kicked out and we were packing his stuff up}, I looked at them, put them in my backpack and THAT started me on things, when I got older I read the "Sleeping Beauty Triology," did a BUNCH of reasearch, I was only introduced to the BDSM M/s world online about 6 or 7 years go, before that, it was ALL books and r/t.
 
As for the increasing number of people 'entering' I think we have a gaggle of wannabes, trolls, morons and certain lines that were once very appareant, have been slowly disppearing. It disgusts me because I am one for tradition and for having very set boundaries on certain things, and with things getting so 'wishy washy' its almost negates what some of us know and how M/s was years ago. It was about being REAL, having honour, respect, knowledge, intimacy, etc.
 
The internet is a great TOOL, its not how to live, its not a way to say, 'wow, I like this stuff, so now I am into xyz' just because you found some porn or a website. You get 'into it' when you do it in r/t and you have first hand knowledge of it, not online or chatroom or porn knowledge. Being introduced to something online if fine, its what do you DO with what you found that seperates the wannabes from those who are {for lack of a better term} "real."
 
Do you seek out others OFFLINE?
Do you READ books on what you found?
Do you ONLY look for porn or for pictures?
Have you done ANY research as to what you think you might enjoy?
Is this ALL online for you?
Lots of things define a wannabe verses a 'real' lifestlyer.
 
My best friend likes some aspects of M/s and of bdsm, is she a lifestyler? Nope, not at all. She reads my blogs on occassion, she goes through some of my books, we talk a lot; yet, she is vanilla with some kink interests; she knows MORE about bdsm and M/s than most people I have found on some sites.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 10:48:26 AM   
sunfleur


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline 		Yes i also tripped over bdsm via the internet about 10 years ago.  I was scared and curious at the same time.  Thankfully, a chat room i came across had some very sweet subs who guided me to sites with good reading on the subject.  i've been hooked ever since, and was more than pleased when the time came for me to step out from behind the screen, and into a real life dungeon.  :)

sunfleur

ps.  i've met in person and am still friends to this day with those kind subs.

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 1:01:07 PM   
LadyPaige


Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I first learned about the lifestyle; the terms and the protocal from the internet, but I'd had experiences long before the internet came along.  I just didn't have a venue to explore further.  I'm so happy for the internet as it gave me a means to find others with like interests... not just others, but whole groups!

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 1:36:05 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		The internet has helped me to learn a lot about the BDSM scene.
I love reading the profiles, stories and the message boards.
I take everything with a grain of salt, as I do with just about anything
I find on the internet.
So for me, it is totally wonderful and a source of information and education.

(in reply to LadyPaige)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 2:55:16 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PleaseTieMeDown

Greetings all,

I have been thinking...

Im 27, and have been on the Internet for ~9yrs now.

I only know about BDSM due to porn on the Internet... and over time have discovered its something im very much interested in.
I never seeked to find kinky porn, i just viewed it "by accident" while viewing other porn which then sparked my interest.

So, im wondering how many other people on here were introduced via the Internet?
Im also wondering if the scene will increase in numbers due to others being introduced to it as i was.

Your thoughts?



I guess you'd have to start by defining "the scene".  While the "online scene" has literally exploded in tremendous numbers, the real time scene has not.  I find that telling, and the story it tells is not "good" (an exceptionally relative term).
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 2:59:41 PM   
mythi


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline 		I'm afraid my kink predates the internet as well, and even predates getting on BBS's in the mid-80's.  But the internet can be a wonderful resource to learn more and find like-minded people beyond the few that might be in most of our backyards, regardless of WIITYouD.  It's certainly filled that role for me, but I already knew what I was looking for.

_____________________________

“The truth doesn’t change based on our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor

(in reply to VeryMercurial)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 4:03:46 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear PleaseTieMeDown, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I was exposed the the lifestyle before the personal computer and the Internet.  Back then it was 'word of mouth' and variety of paper ads with coded messages and debauchery ads on pornographic magazines and swinger's magazines.
 
In my mind's eyes it was a bit better for all of us in the lifestyle, when being discrete was a virtue that everybody admired.  It was a smaller group without the networking that is available today with the Internet and before the Internet the BBS boards.
 
And, though there are those who have to make snide remarks about those who went through a process of submission--not just weekend warrior submission; grew into mastering and domination; in my mind's eyes they learned more than what lectures, presentations and written books on relationships, life and self growth accomplish now days.  I prefer to see those having relationships that are beyond one or two years talk on relationships, how to find slaves and or Masters, etc.  I must express my disappoinment in some of these 'experts.'  Especially, the ones I've known for years, seen enter the scene and know their history is not as they portray it to the larger communities.  I miss those times where mandatory protocols on growing into the roles was met with excitement knowing that at the end--they would learn first hand and not be influenced by stories, myths or self promoting gossip.
 
The plus that the Internet has given the larger community is grand but, one cannot ignore the gross negatives that come with it.  Each person must weigh the values and also not besmirch those who have come from a different era in the lifestyle; which too frequently happens on the forums and in community circles.  It is my caution today for those in the Internet era--one day you will find yourself complaining about the newer generation and lament on what was.  It is a pattern of society, that our markers, standards and values will be vastly different from those who come behind us.
 
I agree that "Old Guard" is over used and at times used to decieve and mislead others, to which their evil intentions are to 'best' another Dominant and or slave, the conversation or win the debate.  However, there are those who can enjoy the philosophy, the methods and standards of what was.  Those who wish to return to said standards should not be discouraged by peer pressure.  It would not be seen as harmful to see people more polite, show some compassion and be discrete with information.
 
It may be indeed a truth, that the majority enter into the lifestyle, BDSM and or The Scene; came to it through innocent curiousity and or sexual quests.  As time and experience shows, it isn't 'all' about sex--it is all about me/us (in a general sense.)
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 
 

(in reply to PleaseTieMeDown)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 7:05:21 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		LordandMaster,

Well, you certainly aren't going to get that old gaurd BS from me! I'm 45, and can remember the days of having to do near annonymous meetings in seedy, smoky bars. Usually meeting people that I'd only contacted via a local contact paper, and maybe one or two phone converstations... scary!

On top of that, the level of information and support commonly available online was non-existent when I forst got started in the early 1980's. God, how the dangers of those early meetings could have been lessened had I known about saftey calls, public meeting protocols, and other techniques to keep from hending up as a Hannibal Lecktor entree!

Yeah, the O.G. will bitch, sure. But which era am I glad to be in now? This one. Solidly.


(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 7:29:07 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I am not so sure.  You may bitch all you want about the days of Old Guard, but there were certain advantages.  A stronger sense of communtiy.  Those who wanted to invest themselves showed up, it relieved those who are serious in the lifestyle to fantasy players.  Not anyone who is everyone could slap "Master" on their name, and be accepted as a legitimate master of their craft.
 
I realize that it is wrong, but I have less and less respect for those who have online only interest, those who have used the net as their primary outlet, and those who are fantasy driven.  Of course, there is the 1 in 100 who are serious about persuing the lifestyle, but spending the energy on the other 99% becomes rather taxing.  For heaven's sake, if you are truely interested in BDSM, do something of your own research!  Read a book, go to a munch, start talking with people in your local area!  Do not leave it up to those of Us with r/t experience to hold your hand, guide you through the lifestyle, and give you what it has taken Us years to accumulate!
 
I admit to coming in rather backwards into the whole scene, by some standards.  I had My first slave before I ever had a screen name or joined a BDSM site.  Am I worse for the wear of it?  No!  I would take My r/t experience over those who have found these forums earlier than I did any day!  Do I consider Myself an elitest?  Perhaps, in some ways, but it helps to ensure that I have quality, rather than internet quantity, of submissives at My feet.

(in reply to bipolarber)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 7:34:47 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		And we have a winner!

Juuuuuuuust one question, by the way.  You say "accepted as a legitimate master of their craft."  "Accepted" BY WHOM?  The most pathetic cowardly undominant thing I can possibly imagine is to rely on other people's opinions for one's own self-image.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I am not so sure.  You may bitch all you want about the days of Old Guard, but there were certain advantages.  A stronger sense of communtiy.  Those who wanted to invest themselves showed up, it relieved those who are serious in the lifestyle to fantasy players.  Not anyone who is everyone could slap "Master" on their name, and be accepted as a legitimate master of their craft.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Effect of the Internet on the BDSM scene... - 6/27/2007 7:37:15 PM   
RaynaSub


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		LadyPact, many people discovered this lifestyle, because of the internet.
Many people come to these boards with limited experience.
I am not sure how you can separate or prevent people with little or no real
experience from coming here.
I don't read every post, or answer every question because I don't want to.
But, this is a free and public forum and every one can come here despite their level
of experience or interest.
If you don't like it here you of course could find somewhere else to go.
People don't need a certain level of experience to come here, and it doesn't matter if
they ever go to any functions or ever get any real time experience.
I don't spend my life worrying about what other people have or do.
I just feel like everyone has a right to be here, unless they are violating the rules of collarme.
No one is forcing anyone to come here and no one can control who comes here.

< Message edited by RaynaSub -- 6/27/2007 7:38:28 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 20
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