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RE: How fast is too fast - 6/22/2007 5:07:32 PM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
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Hello octavia. Follow your heart. Trust your instincts. Go slow, to see, hear and feel "every little thing" (the "biggies" are obvious!).

When you feel "good and well" with one person (feel safe, respected and joyful) I guess you can "change gears" to your liking?...After that? I don't have to tell you, do I? Nature? RL.

PS: just in case, "when" it feels right you simply "defer" the best way you know how (that is always the best way, "your" way). Your dom should take it from there. First thing you know, you "submit" and "follow" with a big smile on your face. It is not a case of speed as much as going through the stages. Some stages slow, some fast. You will know.

Edited: Sorry Stephann, wrong button. Replying to octavia

< Message edited by robertolapiedra -- 6/22/2007 5:14:20 PM >

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RE: How fast is too fast - 6/22/2007 5:19:38 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Go with your gut. If he won't honor you and slow down, he's probably not a match for you, in the end.

Master Fire

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RE: How fast is too fast - 6/22/2007 5:27:46 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: octavia
My problem now is, my only real point of reference for dating is wayyyyyyy back when i was a kid really. The rules and guidelines that served me well then, really aren't applicable anymore.

Are you so sure that they aren't applicable anymore? They are an EXCELLENT place to start! We are often given the impression that the BDSM lifestyle operates within a different sets of parameters to the vanilla world. NO, it doesn't! All the usual relationship criteria apply. You said you were also asking for guidelines within the vanilla world of dating, and the same goes! Just because we get bombarded with images that tell us that life is speeding up and we "should" be this that or the other to be "happy" it doesn't make it true. Slow down, smell the coffee, and be yourself. Start with those old points of reference and work from there.

:))
LH

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