Ruffled Feathers

Ruffled Feathers (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid

Message

DiurnalVampire -> Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 12:37:49 PM)
OK, This is just venting. I just got back in from lunch with Kitten. He is applying to schools and looking to go back to finish his degree. I am helping him as much as I can, but the appication process is not something that can really be helped with. We bumped into a friend of his, long term aquaintenece it seems, who started school when he did the first time and is about ready to graduate. Being polite, we asked her if shed ike to join us while we finished up. After a few questions about me, who I was and what I was to him, she started chatting about plans after graduation. Then she laughed at him, covered her mouth oh so coyly, and said "Oh, thats right, you fucked that up already didnt you." She giggled and asked "So, are you actually going to bother trying to go back to school or are you done wasting your parents money on it." I was good, realy I was, I kept my mouth shut. He has been taking the few rejections he had gottne really badly, and this was obviously not helping. When we got the check, and he paid (she paid her own, he got that much of my hint at least and didnt offer to put it up for her) we were walking out and she came wit us. As nasty as she had been at the table, she had the gall to kiss him goodbye. Again, I dealt. But, as we wlaked back to the car, she was parked next to us. In between the cars, she grabbed his crotch and said "trust me, I'll be more fun" I know I shouldnt have overreacted. And I didnt throw the first punch. She did, when I stepped inbetween them. He knows now how protective I can be, and how territorial. She knows not to mess with me or him again. Now, maybe I am crazy, but how on EARTH can someone think that is appropriate behavior? What did she honestly think was going to happen if she pulled something like that in front of me? She hadnt seen him for months, spent lunch making him feel like hell, and then pulls this? Things like this make me wonder about people. I am trying to smooth the fur now. He is upset, and I have a lot of damage control to do with him. I have spent so much time telling him that going back is important and respectable, and she al but undid his self confidence in one sitting. ARGH /end rant. DV

cjenny -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 12:42:20 PM)
I'm sorry that happened. Sometimes people are just not understandable. I'm especially sorry that she made those verbal digs to him, that was just plain mean. I wish I had better words to say to you but all I can say is that I'm sorry such a crappy thing happened to both of you.

slaveboyforyou -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 12:48:53 PM)
I don't think you overreacted. I'd whip some guy's ass if he grabbed my significant other's privates in front of me too. You did the right thing by ignoring her little snarky comments, but her grabbing him like that is stepping over the line. I quit school the first time I went too, and didn't go back until I was 27. It's a pain in the ass going back when you are older, but it's worth it. I got the same kind of comments from people I knew. I did fuck around a lot and didn't take school seriously the first time, so I just laughed off those kinds of comments.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 12:53:11 PM)
Exactly what happened other than you stepped in between them? Which seems completely appropriate to me at that point. I would hope that one bad incident like that wouldn't undo EVERYTHING he's had built up. Just take some time later to review the points you've already made, explain how the ho was just playing on his insecurities and where his focus really needs to be now.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 12:54:57 PM)
He didnt leave becasue he wanted to. He left becasue he wasseverle depressed and unable to function. And obviously, according to him, she knew it. I dont feel BAD about what I did. I feel aweful that I didnt tell her to shove off from the get go rather than allowing him to go through this. It took me weeks to get him to feel good about himself and his education. I was even going to help him study if he stays local, since I was an A student and I want to give him a great change to graduate with honors and prove everyone wrong. With any luck, I can dig this out. Problem is, everyone seems to think ike she does. No one thinks he wil take it seriously, but me. As for her, i am almost hoping she does start with me if she sees me again. When I stepped between them, she shoved me. All I did was knock her down, if she starts a real fight, I can defend myself and she WILL learn. I hate when people make themselves feel better by trying to belittle others. Humiliation is a hard limit for Kitten, his emotional state is too fragile. Grrr

lighthearted -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 1:01:37 PM)
ulitmately, it's what you and he think that's the most important. clearly this person is a toxic waste dump, and really has no place in anyone's life. her attempts at controlling and humiliating him show just how pathetic she is. that's a bummer, I'm sorry it happened to both he and you.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 1:06:21 PM)
quote: Now, maybe I am crazy, but how on EARTH can someone think that is appropriate behavior? What did she honestly think was going to happen if she pulled something like that in front of me? She hadnt seen him for months, spent lunch making him feel like hell, and then pulls this? DV, Where you were wrong was letting her see she affected you negatively. It gives her the ability to relate her version of the story to others who may know Kitten including a reference to how she upset you. Then again, she did touch your man. In a similar situation with beth I may have asked if the person was done with that hand since it was about to be removed and relocated in whatever one of their orifices I chose. quote: Things like this make me wonder about people. Don't wonder about people - assume they are shallow, self centered, insecure, and can't be trusted. Enjoy and surround yourself with those that prove to be the surprising exceptions. You can't let people bother you, especially those that don't require regular interaction. Their only victory comes from you allowing them to effect you, your day, your emotions, or how you feel. Remember, the best "revenge" is a good life. Unless, like me, you are Sicilian and "know people"; in which case the best revenge takes on a 'religious' connotation and often comes to me as an epiphany.

calamitysandra -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 1:28:32 PM)
I can not really add something importand to the things the persons before me have said, but, as inconsequential it is from a stranger on the net, I think it is courageous of your man to go back and face his demons. It shows a lot of character, and that sets him apart from lowlifes like that woman. I wish him much success.

szobras -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 1:28:38 PM)
Some people are kind, compassionate, and supportive. Some people are just plain SOB's. It would seem by your OP that kitten is quite vulnerable to how people may conduct themselves with inappropriate behavior. I know if I had taken words as gold with every comment of belttling me during my chosen path, I would not have succeeded in my personal goals. Humilitaion may be a hard limit, though the rest of the world does not have that consentual agreement with him. We all get a dose in life. Perhaps it may serve to discuss personal limits of what is acceptable behavior by other's for him. Were it me, I would have removed ourselves from the situation at her first disrespectful comment.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 1:28:56 PM)
Actually, Merc, she didnt see me react negatively until she touched him. I was going to let it all go and just address it back at home with him privately... but she touched him. As far as I know, Kitten says the friends they have in common are about as worthless as she is. Maybe theres a chance that if she relates the story, they'll avoid him? One can hope. He is back at work, and seems to be taking everything in stride. He called me to tell me everything was ok, and that there might be a god side to this. Granted, the crap she said is in his head, but he is more reeling that I stood up for him. At his size, hes always been left to his own devices, even when he was picked on. No one has every defended himself. She might have done me a service, as backhanded as it was.

popeye1250 -> RE: Ruffled Feathers (6/21/2007 2:23:24 PM)
I don't know how she can be so smug. Wait till she gets her degree, I'm sure Starbucks will have an opening for her. They love "Psy" majors! I hope the manager has a Master's degree and really makes her work her ass off.

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.015625