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How to beg? - 6/11/2007 5:13:58 AM   
hotwater07


Posts: 65
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		I didn't want to hijack the other thread about begging, so here goes:

There's a few of you who said that begging can be difficult or awkward and you don't feel like you're very good at it, and I feel the same way.  Often when I have been asked to beg I find myself thinking "How many times can I say 'please' and is that really effective?  What else can I say?"  And yes, it feels awkward and I think - I need to ask the people on the boards HOW to do it.

 So, what advice does anyone have on how to go about begging?  Besides the sincere desire to achieve something (orgasm, more or less pain, etc.), what words and phrases help convey one's feelings?  What is it about begging that is such a turn on (or not) for the Dom/me?

Also, during a conversation I had some time ago, my friend and I discussed begging and I would like an opinion on what he said:

" when you want something from Me,.......
 you will not only humiliate yourself by begging,
but you will offer something to Me in return.......
something.......interesting.......
not ordinary, and certainly not something
that I could take by force if I chose........
something you would willingly do.......
 that would be painful........
 or humiliating.........
 or submissive in the extreme."

The particular phrase that continues to come to mind is "not ordinary, and certainly not something that I could take by force if I chose".  Maybe it's because I'm still very new to this, but I still can't figure out what something like that would be.  Am I reading too much into this?

Thanks!
K

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 5:20:04 AM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		The only time I say "please please please" is when I'm on the verge of orgasm and can't get anything else out. The proper phrase Sir taught me is "Please may I cum" and most of the time by the time I'm begging all I can manage is "please...pls....pls..." and if he says "please what?" I can get out "cum...PLEASE!"

However, when begging for something else my keys are this
1) Say what I want
2) Show how desperately I want it. Don't worry about looking pathetic. Remember that he has final say, and that only the strength of my begging might please him enough to grant it, and that even then he may say no. Let my desperation come out.
3) Do not try to bargain with him. Don't say "if you do this I will do X"
4) When I am done, I am done. Wait for his decision, don't decide to come back later and beg more because I feel I did a poor job. Do a good job and then stop.
Most of the time begging happens when I'm doing ritual worship as of his cock or feet, and is something like this.
"Master, please may I taste your cock? Girl loves the taste of your cock, the smooth texture, the satin skin, the musky scent, please master, please may girl taste your cock? Please?" Normally my breath gets ragged as I am recounting the reasons I want to taste his cock, and that emotion shines through.

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to hotwater07)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 5:57:18 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		That was a very powerful post, Elorin, and your four keys to begging struck my mind as very much what I expect when I tell Fox to beg.

As Fox says, what could he possibly offer me when he begs since I all ready own him. All he can really do is show how much he wants something and accept my answer.

My heart and groin go all mushy though with the right type of begging.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Elorin)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 6:20:34 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		For me, it's about putting myself in the proper headspace. It is difficult to do if we have just been joking, or if we haven't been in Master/slave mode.

Perhaps by "something I can take by force if I need to" he means for the girl to put her heart in it, to go to the nth degree to show him how much she is willing to debase herself for him. I try to keep in mind that this is something Master enjoys and so I put as much effort as possible into it.

How to do it will depend on your individuality. Practice when he's not around. Practice until it sounds convincing and then practice until you feel it. You would be hard-pressed to do well much of anything you haven't done often, so practice is the only answer. It will sound stilted and it will feel stilted at first, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you are with it, the more words you can think of besides "please" the easier it will be and the better it will be. Have fun.


_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 6:50:18 AM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The turn on for a Dominant is that they have the power to grant your request - or not.
The turn off is when it becomes whining or topping from the bottom.
To know what will please your Dominant, you have to know how His mind ticks.
I am pleased by things that are inventive and humorous - a sub who can ask me for something with a glint in his eye, playing with words, or with a clever argument will win me over. But I am not your Dominant. Best look at how His mind ticks to know how to petition Him.
:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to slaveish)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 8:38:16 AM   
batteredballs46


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Begging to cum is a powerful fantasy for me.

(in reply to LadyHeart)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 12:41:08 PM   
MasterMagnus321


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart

The turn on for a Dominant is that they have the power to grant your request - or not.
The turn off is when it becomes whining or topping from the bottom.


Absolutely correct- the attraction is having the power to grant requests, to hold the key to creating or eliminating certain reality dynamics... and, of course, the finer subtilties of completely pure and thorough TPE.

_____________________________

Nothing lasts, and yet nothing passes, either.
And nothing passes just because nothing lasts.
-Philip Roth

~MASTERMAGNUS

(in reply to LadyHeart)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 12:48:19 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Sorry, that you will offer something you wouldn't normally offer in exchange for this seems to be a veiled attempt to break limits. Hell, I've heard of doms putting a femsub on orgasm denial long term until she had a bi experience on video and sent it to him. And she wasn't bi.

Someone setting me up like that would get me to not want whatever it was to begin with.

In terms of begging, the times he wants it done are times when I'm not verbal. If I really want something, then I am not able to think of pretty phrases. If I am able to be highly verbal and articulate then I don't want anything that badly.

I do know that the verbal/nonverbal dichotomy is pretty common. The best way around it I know is for him to tell me what he wants me to say. Because if in a nonverbal mode I'm forced to become verbal either I panic because I can't or my headspace and arousal levels fall drastically.

(in reply to MasterMagnus321)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 1:58:22 PM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		Begging is difficult for me as well, it doesn't come naturally and actually I think it's due to paranoia that I'm going to screw up somehow, it's embarressing, humiliating and that's what kind of creates the paranoia.

I dont know if it will ever become easy so to speak, if it doesn't come naturally there may always be an "issue" I dont think begging is one of those things that can really be trained because in my perception of it the experience has to come from within, if it doesn't then well it doesn't seem realistic and if it doesn't seem realistic to you then it probably wont be to your Dom either.


(in reply to hotwater07)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 6:08:45 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		The thing you really have to know about begging is that He, (or She) is not inclined to give you what you want, and the only thing you have to change His mind is your words.
Joseff

(in reply to hotwater07)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 7:44:29 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		This is very interesting to me. I just read this and the other begging thread, and then I asked my Sir what he felt about begging. Seems that begging turns him on! Well, if that is the case then I got to learn how to do it and do it right!!

I do beg to come, and I beg for things that are silly when we are playing. He doesn't micromanage me, and I'm a bit obsessed about being the good gurl at all times. So, we have decided to play around with begging and see how we can make it fit into our lives. Could be fun, and of course I love nothing more than pleasing and turning him on.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Joseff)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 8:12:38 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Good luck my littlepita, begging is hot, I can't imagine too many Dominants
that would not enjoy it from their little snuggle bunny.
Here is message board on humilation...

Fetish Lore :: View Forum - Humiliation

I had this article and I lost it and I spent some time looking for it!!
Learning to beg...........
A male slave seeks to offer complete submission without seeming to be a pest. - Still Striving to Learn How to Beg
good luck!
 go forth and beg!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/11/2007 8:25:05 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 10:27:35 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		heh heh - yeah begging feels awkward - downright humiliating if you ask me ~grin~. Chairman loves me to beg and since He loves it i do all i can to accommodate His desires. Now for simple requests (non-erotic) i simply say Master please may i. But for more erotic things i've learned to use my whole body to beg whether it's His pleasure or mine - hmmmm - now exactly how do i separate the two.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to hotwater07)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 11:29:11 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		slavemaia, I totally understand begging is not everyones kink.
But for those of us that enjoy it---it is so damn hot.
To each their own.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to slavemaia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How to beg? - 6/11/2007 11:54:03 PM   
KuffedKitten


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		I myself have been forcing myself to work on this as I often feel my words do not completely entail my deepest feelings when begging. I often feel that the words that come out of my mouth sound awkward or odd..as if it is another language of sorts. I have found as with other things in my life , practicing in front of a mirror or in a position that forces me to spit the words out has helped some. For years I had issues with looking in the mirror due to my non beautiful looks..as I saw it. Day by day I forced myself to look in the mirror and tell myself I was beautiful..and day by day it raised my self confidence and self esteem slowly. My same philosophy applies here..I am so unsure of myself right now , but with each phrase..with each word I hear echoing in my mind and the room..I become more confident in my ability to beg properly. Though I am unowned , I strive to work on my weaknesses daily so that when the day comes that I am lucky enough to fine the One , I will be able to give the best of myself as I continue to learn and grow each day. Some wonderful suggestions here have also helped me. Thanks to A/all.

--kuffed

(in reply to slavemaia)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/12/2007 10:45:03 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KuffedKitten

I myself have been forcing myself to work on this as I often feel my words do not completely entail my deepest feelings when begging. I often feel that the words that come out of my mouth sound awkward or odd..as if it is another language of sorts.

--kuffed



I completely understand where your coming from Kuffed, it's a natural thought process that your dealing with and over time you will be able to become more confident in not only begging but in many other acts and expressions in and out of the lifestyle. 

Over the years this lifestyle has taught me about myself, Those who I have served have taught me alot about myself but as I said before, your fears can only be subdued by yourself, and your wanting to change and be a better sub or slave to the one who you serve if not today one day in the future is a good thing, just think about that when trying to find the words (assuming that isn't what's screwing you up of course).

< Message edited by meticulousgirl -- 6/12/2007 10:53:54 AM >

(in reply to KuffedKitten)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/12/2007 11:37:28 AM   
LadyMaraSedai


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline 		" when you want something from Me,.......
 you will not only humiliate yourself by begging,
but you will offer something to Me in return.......
something.......interesting.......
not ordinary, and certainly not something
that I could take by force if I chose........
something you would willingly do.......
 that would be painful........
 or humiliating.........
 or submissive in the extreme."

That, my dear, is a lovely quote.  I believe I'll borrow it!

(in reply to meticulousgirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How to beg? - 6/12/2007 10:00:52 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
To me, begging and groveling at my Master's feet is a very sweet, comfortable, and comforting way for me to show my Master how much i respect, admire, and look up to Him.  It is a very special way that i have of showing my Master how much i honor and revere Him.  If i were to go begging from strangers, in an act of desperation, then it would make me feel awkward, uncomfortable, humiliated, degraded, etc.  But, since i only beg to my Master, i feel very humble, honest, devoted, and sexy.  Begging, and especially grovelling, to my Master gives me a very sexy feeling.   When i beg to my Master, i always lay face down at His feet.  Just being in that position causes me to become very sexually aroused.  i lay my face on top of my Master's feet.  i kiss His feet and toes.  i wrap my arms around His legs.  Eventually, i do look up at His eyes.  Sometimes i say nothing and He will look down at me and He might ask what it is that i am begging for.  i say, "Please, Master, may i ______________." When i beg, it is always for the privilege of doing something for my Master.  For example, i beg for the privilege to suck my Master's cock.  That is an honor for me and something that i love to do.  i beg for the privilege to give my Master a bath and massage.  i beg my Master for a chance to feel His whip on my skin or to be slapped in the face.  Of course, these are things that i enjoy but, i beg for them in order to please my Master and to honor Him. If i simply want something for myself, such as to have a Diet Coke when W/we are out at the grocery store, i will just ask my Master very politely but, i don't beg for it.  If He allows it, then great but, if He decides to say no, then i accept His answer and i don't plead with Him or put any burden of disappointment on Him.  That would be very selfish and disrespectful of me, because i have entrusted Him with the power of decision-making over my life.  i trust His decisions over the small, as well as large, decisions and i don't balk at His decisions or argue with Him or whine or pout about them.  He cares about me and makes decisions that take my well-being into consideration. Begging to my Master is a beautiful thing.  i get a very good feeling from being able to beg to Him.  He is the only one i beg to and, He loves it. slave joyOwned property of Master David

(in reply to hotwater07)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/12/2007 10:05:29 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batteredballs46

Begging to cum is a powerful fantasy for me.


It is fun.

What is fun for me is when I have her all hot and bothered and ready to cum, and she begs, for me to simply say "no" and going back to working to get her off.

There is something so profoundly gorgeous about her reaction.

Love and disappointment and desire and panic and sexual ardor all mixed in to one.

It is all good.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to batteredballs46)
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RE: How to beg? - 6/12/2007 10:27:38 PM   
KuffedKitten


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy




To me, begging and groveling at my Master's feet is a very sweet, comfortable, and comforting way for me to show my Master how much i respect, admire, and look up to Him.  It is a very special way that i have of showing my Master how much i honor and revere Him.  If i were to go begging from strangers, in an act of desperation, then it would make me feel awkward, uncomfortable, humiliated, degraded, etc.  But, since i only beg to my Master, i feel very humble, honest, devoted, and sexy.  Begging, and especially grovelling, to my Master gives me a very sexy feeling.   When i beg to my Master, i always lay face down at His feet.  Just being in that position causes me to become very sexually aroused.  i lay my face on top of my Master's feet.  i kiss His feet and toes.  i wrap my arms around His legs.  Eventually, i do look up at His eyes.  Sometimes i say nothing and He will look down at me and He might ask what it is that i am begging for.  i say, "Please, Master, may i ______________." When i beg, it is always for the privilege of doing something for my Master.  For example, i beg for the privilege to suck my Master's cock.  That is an honor for me and something that i love to do.  i beg for the privilege to give my Master a bath and massage.  i beg my Master for a chance to feel His whip on my skin or to be slapped in the face.  Of course, these are things that i enjoy but, i beg for them in order to please my Master and to honor Him. If i simply want something for myself, such as to have a Diet Coke when W/we are out at the grocery store, i will just ask my Master very politely but, i don't beg for it.  If He allows it, then great but, if He decides to say no, then i accept His answer and i don't plead with Him or put any burden of disappointment on Him.  That would be very selfish and disrespectful of me, because i have entrusted Him with the power of decision-making over my life.  i trust His decisions over the small, as well as large, decisions and i don't balk at His decisions or argue with Him or whine or pout about them.  He cares about me and makes decisions that take my well-being into consideration. Begging to my Master is a beautiful thing.  i get a very good feeling from being able to beg to Him.  He is the only one i beg to and, He loves it. slave joyOwned property of Master David


This is what this girl hopes to feel one day. Thank you for sharing such insight with not only myself but everyone as the mere thought of such things is very comforting to me as well. It is soemthing that I do sincerely look forward to doing and feeling when the time does come in this one's life.

--kuffed

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
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