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Defining moment - 6/10/2007 8:53:59 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I think most people believe that we develop and evolve throughout our lives, but there are also defining moments, that accelerate the process. Have you ever experienced one? If so, what was it?

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots
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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 8:57:10 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		The birth of my first child.  Wow.  I was not prepared to love so much and so deeply and so quickly.  And then again, with the second child.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 8:58:11 AM   
OrangeJulius


Posts: 122
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Status: offline 		Death of a friend or family member. Bonus points if you were there when it happened!

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 9:06:30 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Too many, this actually is how I tend to grow most.  A sort of smack on the head realization, and then all the processing that comes from that.

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 9:13:22 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Beyond having kids, the other moment was facing the possibility of cancer and undergoing surgery.  I have changed so much since that happened.  Things have become more important, other things much less important.  I have a calm in my life that I've never had before.  I think I was scared and then grateful and it somehow meshed into appreciation for what I have, at this moment.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 9:14:56 AM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline 		Graduating High School after the death of my mother and two years after my father died

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 9:20:15 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OrangeJulius

Death of a friend or family member. Bonus points if you were there when it happened!


i was holding my moms hand when she took her last breath, and it was the saddest/happiest/most spiritual moment i have ever experienced.  she had been in home hospice and nearly comatose for several days, and i "sensed" something and went to her bedside.  she opened her eyes and looked up and called my dads name.

i said mom you can go with him if you want to.....she smiled the sweetest smile, closed her eyes, and went.  weeks of watching her breathe-wondering if that was the last breath, and when it did happen i had no doubt.

something inside me changed that day-i still have questions about the life after death thing, but i have no doubt that something made her at peace as she crossed that river.  i wouldnt trade that moment with her for anything, and maybe some day i will figure out why it meant so much to me.

i have tears now and a smile at the memory-hope i didnt ruin the thread for anyone.

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 9:30:31 AM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrangeJulius

Death of a friend or family member. Bonus points if you were there when it happened!


i was holding my moms hand when she took her last breath, and it was the saddest/happiest/most spiritual moment i have ever experienced.  she had been in home hospice and nearly comatose for several days, and i "sensed" something and went to her bedside.  she opened her eyes and looked up and called my dads name.

i said mom you can go with him if you want to.....she smiled the sweetest smile, closed her eyes, and went.  weeks of watching her breathe-wondering if that was the last breath, and when it did happen i had no doubt.

something inside me changed that day-i still have questions about the life after death thing, but i have no doubt that something made her at peace as she crossed that river.  i wouldnt trade that moment with her for anything, and maybe some day i will figure out why it meant so much to me.

i have tears now and a smile at the memory-hope i didnt ruin the thread for anyone.


You didn't ruin anything. That's the point of the thread. *smiles*
 
So, we're seeing a trend; death, or fear of death, as a catalyst. I have to agree....

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 9:40:04 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Other defining moments for me: reading Harlan Ellison's "The Deathbird" made me question religion and God. Finding out I have diabetes caused me to refocus on God, and my health. Losing so much to Hurricane rita made me look at what I didn't lose, and what was important.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 9:57:59 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		There have been multiple defining moments for me. As those before me have said, the birth of my children, the death of a loved one. My experience surviving violent sexual assault. My past bout with Lyme disease and my recent surgeries have been extremely life changing. I would also add my breakup with my ex. My mother's illness and need for my care. My parent's aging in general. The news of my impending "Grandma" status.

As LA said....too many really to mention and they are also the source of the most profound personal growth.

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 10:08:54 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		after thinking about it i guess i can honestly say-the things that define me the most are the things, that at the time they happened, i thought would destroy me.

many times since losing my parents, when faced with something difficult to do, i have thought "i survived buryiung my dad/mom" and i can surely survive this also.

when my ex left, after being together for 20 years-i spent a month thinking i would surely not be able to survive it.......then i did the afore mentioned i survived pep talk to me and i came out stronger than ever.

sigh....so much thinking for a sunday morning......

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 10:39:25 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Like so many of the others defining moments have been many. 
Some like childbirth you could see coming and somewhat prepair for, but it has been the unexpected ones that created the largest changes.  The last one that took me by surprise I suppose in hind site I should have seen coming, but becoming ~homeless~ even if for a short period of time was quite an eye opener. 
It has been thing like that, that make me reevaluate the choices I've made and look ahead at how to proceed in a better way. 


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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 10:51:16 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		ahhh the fear of not having a home.....sometimes it overtakes me and i hope you are back on your feet and wish you well.

that is one of the things mom passing defined for me-even though i have a large extended family, i feel like an orphan somedays because there is no "home" to know is there to run to....no one who will love me just because they do except my son........

best of luck to you Quivver...........

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 10:53:24 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		As far as a "non personal' experience I would have to say reading "Johnny Got His Gun." As relevant today as when it was written in 1939.



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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 11:00:54 AM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		        There have been several.  I guess the most significant was when I was down with chemical pneumonia (tried siphoning a tank of diesel while under the influence).  Those were some sleepless nights in a lot of pain, while living alone in a camper.  I emerged with a very different outlook on my life.  The changes have stuck.

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If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 11:05:35 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Meeting my husband.  He gave to me what no one else ever had;  Unconditional love no matter what I was feeling, doing or saying.  I have grown more with him in the last 5 years than I have in the last 33.

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 11:17:07 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		For me I think it was in U.S. Navy Boot Camp in Great Lakes, Illinois in Sept of 1971.
We were in the chow line and they had these pictures on the wall of guys sitting on the ground behind barbed wire and guys with guns standing over them with captions like;  "If taken prisoner I will give name, rank and serial number only."
"If taken prisoner I will make every effort to escape and help my shipmates to escape."
I remember thinking to myself; "Man, these motherfuckers are SERIOUS!" lolol

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 12:21:09 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
I have a lot of defining moments.

After doing the self defense stuff that I did for 5 years, I became ill and woke up from a coma partially paralyzed.

My HMO cut me off from physical therapy after 5 sessions.  I said fuck you to the lot of them and rehabilitated myself.  Three years later I earned my third degree black belt, and put on the mock assailant armor again.

I learned in this that that statement "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" is true.  Further, I learned a new appreciation for my persistence and doggedness in the face of adversity.

There is a line from the movie The Legend of Bagger Vance that says it all to me.

"Grow up Hardy.  His dad can sit around on his dignity because he declared bankruptcy and did not pay back everybody he owed money to.  Your father stared adversity in the face and beat it back with a broom."


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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 1:24:22 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		When my oldest was in trouble...going down a REALLY bad road....i didnt realize how badly i was fucking up....i was more focused on her being "happy" and being her friend...and having her NOT be mad at me...well this parenting style was killing her...so i "woke up"...and  saw that she needed a parent...she was going to have many friends in her life..but only ONE Mother...and i damn well needed to start acting the part....it was tough...but THAT defining moment changed her life and mine for the better...she has even thanked me since....(she is 25 now) she remembers when i "saw the light" and she hated me for months...but i stuck with it and to her credit she is a wonderful mother and daughter ......i am proud of my oldest daughter she is a good woman....

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*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

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RE: Defining moment - 6/10/2007 1:31:30 PM   
verynicebecky


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/29/2007
Status: offline 		i would have to say it was 25 yrs ago this month, when my dad took me to the bus station to take me off to army basic training. he looked me in the eye and said, "Sis, i cant help u anymore." there have bee many, many times in my life since then when i have wanted to give up and quit something, then i think back to that one day at the bus station, and those few words my dad said, and i manage to keep on going.

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Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be..."when i'm gone," 3 doors down

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