expertise - who is worth listening to? (Full Version)

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LadyEllen -> expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 6:15:24 AM)

This is a spin off from Mistoferin's thread "claiming experience and giving advice".

Whilst none of us is expert at everything, I reckon that each of us has expertise in at least one area that might be accounted superior, however small and specialised that expertise might be. We have gained it through personal interest, experience, education, whatever.

So, what is it for you would you say? And is there anyone else here whose expertise in a certain field you regard as worthwhile listening to?

For me for instance, LadyHugs is the heroine of all things slappy and stingy. And my expertise lies in all things transgender (in the widest possible sense).

Over to you. But please, be nice!

E



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 6:24:22 AM)

I am a jack of all trades and a MASTER of a few...I will offer advice if I feel the view from my side of the coin is valid,after all with 45 years in this lifestyle you would think I have been around the block once or twice...bounty



earthycouple -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 6:27:08 AM)

My expertise is in rope.  I love rope, inescapable bondage, shibari, suspension.  I am very good at what I do, I've been doing it for years now, I've learned from some of the best and it's my biggest passion within the realm of everything not vanilla.  But I have other tricks under my corest too...*S*




domiguy -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 6:28:16 AM)

I would listen to what both of  you would have to offer if I had a question that you could shed light on.

Edited to add...LadyEllen and BOUNTYHUNTER.



LadyEllen -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 6:30:40 AM)

Its occurred to me since I posted the OP that some might not feel comfortable with claiming expertise in a certain area, even though they have it. I hope this wont put people off from posting, as I'd really like to know who has expertise in areas where frankly, I'm clueless - rope work being a prime example!

E



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 6:39:20 AM)

I am always shedding light into all the dark twisted corners smile..bounty



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 6:41:36 AM)

While I am very experienced in s and m.I really love interrogation and humiliation and expert on forcing lacation..bounty



thetammyjo -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 6:42:42 AM)

I would never claim any type of expertise status not even in ancient history, not even when I'm 120 years old and have tenured for decades and decades.

I have experience with me, with mine, with friends, with local, statewide, and national comunities, and a lot of formal and informal learning and teaching. I can and am an opinionated bitch but if I ever claim to be an expert someone send me a big old "SLAP" in email please.



MyMastersOwn -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 6:48:30 AM)

Expert...comes from experience.... unforntunately it doesn't always click with some. So it's best to listen to that inner voice. It's helped me in the past...and not listening to it has caused me problems.

No offense to bounty... 45 years in the lifestyle doesn't mean being an expert...and I like how you said  Jack of all trades... Master of a few. Shows this one you're not trying to Master of all. And can admit to that. Where others still try to come across as Master of all trades. When I read a profile and some ones a Expert in all.... I see major red flag. Nice to see some out here are willing to be honest about something. 



subconcious -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:00:10 AM)

wow



MadRabbit -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:02:11 AM)

This is a difficult thread to reply to...

Should I say "I have limited experience and knowledge in behavioral training and modification, M/S authority exchange relationships, and the structure/rules/proctocols associated with them." when basically all I am doing is claiming something that very few people here can validate outside of simply reading my posts constantly? (I'm like a ninja trolling for chicks)

Should I make a list of all the people, in my opinion, are awesome with the chance that I might leave someone out who's advice I do value or consequently suggest the people I dont list are fake and not worth listening to?

Should I simply make a list of all the people who I regularly ignore because they are full of shit and bring this thread into a flame war and pissing contest?

Or should I just simply say "Like all information on the Internet, I read what is presented, take it with a grain of salt and make a judgement call as to whether its applicable to my life or not."

If the fourth option is the only one that is really plausible, then one might wonder why even have this thread to begin with.



meticulousgirl -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:02:41 AM)

LadyEllen,

It is my belief that everyone here shares at least one common interest.  I think everyone has something to bring to the table so to speak and with that said there is no reason why we should say "oh dont listen to that person they dont know what they are talking about" or "who are you to say bla bla bla when you've only been in this lifestyle for xxxx days, months, years."  In my opinion that's just not right.

I have learned in four years to value others opinions and even though i may value the opinions that are brought my way it doesn't mean that I have to take everyone of them in hand and use them.  There are some people on this site and others who are brillant in their idioligies and honestly there have been times when they have told someone to do something and it has backfired on whoevers relationship.  No one's suggestion will work everytime because every person and every relationship is different.  So to answer your question I dont think we should not listen to someone over another because of how long they have been in the lifestyle.  A newbie might have experience in a certain issue that someone who has been in the lifestyle 20 years doesn't have.  Would I want to get my info from someone who has never even been through what "I'm" going through at that point in time when I'm looking for answers...no because more than likely it would turn out to be some fantasy related opinion rather than the truth of the matter. 

I think we should take the opinions of others and choose what practices and opinions we take on wisely making sure that whatever it is would actually be a benefit to our own situation.

Nough said and I doubt that I was actually clear enough but hey, I tried.

~Meticulous~



octavia -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:06:01 AM)

Im an expert at being a noob. 

I know nothing, yet I argue. 
I have tried nothing, yet I "know". 
I know no one, yet I continually speak the fuck up and say crap that I later will regret. 

Maybe in a year or two I can graduate to "know it all" status.

[:D]
Weeeeeeeeeee!



Archer -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:08:54 AM)

I much prefer to use the word Competent rather than Expert.
I am Competent at a fair number of SM skills, and have a basic competency at a variety of relationship skills.

But they don't offer Competent on the list for CM.



jaunty1 -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:10:33 AM)

Quite personally, I would not follow ( to the letter ) the advice of anyone that I had not met in RL. I may listen to a suggestion and then follow up with some research of my own, but not advice ( and yes, to me, they are different )
 
The only expertise that I listen to comes from myself. ( though I do admit that there are some things that melissa is more knowledgeable in and I readily follow her suggestions on those things ).
 
Live well
 
Alex



meticulousgirl -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:13:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Its occurred to me since I posted the OP that some might not feel comfortable with claiming expertise in a certain area, even though they have it. I hope this wont put people off from posting, as I'd really like to know who has expertise in areas where frankly, I'm clueless - rope work being a prime example!

E



I might be good at doing certain things (mainly in domestic issues, accounting, clerical work, and in the real estate realm) but I dont think I would actually ever call myself an expert at anything.  I have learned numerous areas of both the everyday life in society and in the bdsm world but i really dont consider myself to be an expert at any one area.

I enjoy experiencing new things on a frequent basis, if I dont, I get bored and then come on here to get rid of the negative energy and start self reflecting because if I dont I wont be able to keep my mouth shut and I'll end up being punnished and not in a way that's "fun". 

Maybe I'm an expert as self reflecting as a slave haha, I'm finding myself doing that more than anything now I think and yeah I'm doing a pretty good job of it.



meticulousgirl -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:14:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

I much prefer to use the word Competent rather than Expert.
I am Competent at a fair number of SM skills, and have a basic competency at a variety of relationship skills.

But they don't offer Competent on the list for CM.


Exactly Archer, I couldn't agree with you more.



MadRabbit -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:15:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Its occurred to me since I posted the OP that some might not feel comfortable with claiming expertise in a certain area, even though they have it.
E


I would be more worried about the people comfortable to claim experstise in a certain area, even though they dont have it.



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:26:38 AM)

I enjoy this site...some of the advice is good and some...well...lol.....i feel like we are all still learning and its cool that we have a venue so we can learn together..... and teach each other..instead of debating the use of the word expert.



LadyEllen -> RE: expertise - who is worth listening to? (6/7/2007 7:37:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Its occurred to me since I posted the OP that some might not feel comfortable with claiming expertise in a certain area, even though they have it.
E


I would be more worried about the people comfortable to claim experstise in a certain area, even though they dont have it.


I understand what youre saying MR, but dont you find that one can often tell whats genuine from whats not? Consistency, examples, detail and so on denote genuine to me - its not possible to fake in depth knowledge without being discovered I think. I reckon that if I should post some advice about ropework that it would be obvious that I didnt know what I was talking about.

E



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