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my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 8:14:36 AM   
fairdom23


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I am going to have the chance to experiment with anal play with my vanilla girl some time this week. she is wanting to take it very slow, which is a good thing. we are presently at the fingering stage, however i know she desires to try more.
I have read up on the do's and donts of first time anal. however i just want to make sure i am doing things the right way so as to leave a positive impresson of anal play with my girl.
should i look into the small or even medium butt plugs or a standard dildo to try on her before anal sex?
Im thinking i will at the very least get a small plug so she can have that in durring intercourse, which will defenatly heighten her desire to try anal.
i plan on going very slow, use lots of lube, and listen to her every step of the way.
any other advice that can be offered is always appreciated.
thanks
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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 8:24:23 AM   
Lordandmaster


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My advice is to fuck her in the ass.

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 9:03:56 AM   
slaverosebeauty


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From: Cali
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I love anal {insert glassy eyed look here}; my advice, go slow, oral is a GREAT way to get her to relax, finger her as you do this, you can use a small plug on her to help relax the uscles, have her wear it for as long as she can during the day. Slowly move to the medium plug, if it hurts, then stop or slow down, the BEST kinda lube to use is Eros, it works well and a little goes a long way, that doesn't mean to be stingy with the lube though. The muscles need to relax or its gonna hurt like hell; take this like anything else in a relationship, a chance to grow together and to share something exciting together.

BEST advice for anal..
*Go slow
*Use a good lube, Eros is the BEST I have found
*Relax - both of you
*Do NOT rush it
*Let her push back on you when you do finally go for anal sex
*Enjoy

She will either love it, hate it or she can learn to enjoy it. I use to HATE it with a passion {a few horrible experiences}, I had a great partner who turned me into anal obsessed, years later, I am STILL obsessed and its a great experience.

Good luck.

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 11:19:51 AM   
HornyToadsMI


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Anal beads are great too...and sometimes using a pocket rocket on the clit can help with relaxing....nothing is worse than everyone being nervous!  (A shot of tequila helps me!!!)  But i would highly recommend the small plug!

I need a cold shower now......



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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 2:22:07 PM   
SunNMoon


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Ok I'm an odd one, I didn't do the butt plug build up before my first time. I had no problems at all, and I’ve always loved it.  My tips are pretty much the same as above, lots and lots of lube on everything. Make sure that it's a non-spermicidal lube (otherwise it might burn), also use a lube that works for her. I can only use KY without having issues. Go slow, listen to her, and try different positions, different angles some work better then others. If there is pain stop, it shouldn't be painful. Plus if it hurts she's not going to want to do it again. Lube. Foreplay just get her to relaxed and excited for it. Oh and did I mention lube on everything, on you, on her, in her etc.

I’ve had no problems, the only times I’ve had any minor ones was not enough lube.

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 2:48:38 PM   
eveningtwilight


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Haven't read any replies, hope I don't duplicate. Here are my tips, in no particular order. :P

1) Don't pull it all the way out just to force it back open again. OUCH! Save that for maybe the 5th time you have anal sex.  Keep it in once it's in.

2) Start with small/short thrusts (remember, while NOT pulling it all the way out).

3) Distract her fears with a relaxing back rub or hair play or something while you're doing it. It'll be easy for her to tense up, but staying relaxed is cruicial for it to leave a good impression.

4) If you do pull out all the way and start to head back in, don't let yourself slip and touch her other side...so not cool. Get directions and know where you're going before going there. :P

5) Right before penetration, I prefer constant pressure at the opening. I hate it when it gets pulled back and then slammed back into the area. Constant pressure that slowly intensifies until the final "break through"...that is much easier to take. Re-hitting the area to penetrate actually causes muscles to tighten up and that makes it all the harder and more painful to recieve.

6) This tip is strickly a personal preference, but you may want to have a 'clean-up' plan thought out before you start. For some reason I feel bad when I see him clean up after anal...I feel like I've soiled him somehow. I really like it when he walks away like a man and quickly cleans up when I'm not looking. I also love it when he hands me something wet and kinda soapy (like a towlette) right after, so I can clean up before getting up and walking around.

7) Um...if you haven't had much experience with this before, just keep in mind that some (many) lubricates cause INSANE levels of gas that can last for up to 24 hours. She may be mortified that after 10 minutes of anal she has to run to the bathroom and fart for another 10 min. My suggestion is that you get some lubricant names that are more kind. They exist, I just can't think of one.

8) Oh, and for her first time or two, you may want to keep it pretty short. Everyone is different of course, so see how she feels when you're there, but my first time I thought I was going to rip after about 5 minutes.

9) Try penetration at different angles if it's not goign in smoothly. If you are curled up behind laying on your side, you may have to try going in horizontally instead of shooting straight up. Or, it may be the other way around (sorry, it's been a while)...but there is a key angle...so if one angle causes her to tighten up, try a different angle.



Enjoy!

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 2:53:57 PM   
ennaozzie


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I am curiuos why you seemed suprised that your girl wants to try anal.  Anal is practiced outside the BDSM and D/s lifestyles, sound like you know how to go about it anyway.

If its what you wanted to do i think that is great, that you get to do what you like to do.

As to the build up of things i guess some do it that way and most likly a better way to go about it, but first time for me none of that was done first did not bother me but i would suggest lube. 

All the best to you

beanie

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 2:55:08 PM   
KuffedKitten


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I still remember my first anal expericne and though it something that I was very scared and nervous about but thankfully I had a partner who was willing to take to slowly and because of this it was one of the best experiences in my life and now cannot get enough..*sighs dreamily thinking about it*

Oh right anyhow as mentioned above taking it slow is essential. Though I did not have anything to "warm" me up with the experience , alot of patience , lube and communication was key. I have found in my experiences that receiveing oral before or fingering has greatly relaxed my body in readiness for anal. With time and patience I think it will work out wonderful for you both. Though if it does not go perfectly well the first time don't give up ! My first time had me addicted from the start but sometimes these things do take time and don't give up. Good luck!

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 3:12:19 PM   
juliaoceania


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I would recommend a lot of clitoral stimuli before and during anal penetration.

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 3:12:34 PM   
fairdom23


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i would be real interested in knowing the best lube for anal so as to not cause gas issues and whatnot.

slaverosebeauty recomended eros, and i will be picking some of that up unless there is something better out there

as ot being supprised by her interest in anal, i was not really expecting it as i had asked her if she would ever try it and i got a profound no as a reply.
thanks

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 3:43:33 PM   
vield


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Lots of good advice here, so you both should have fun.

You will get a lot more gas issues from energetic pumping in and out than most people will get from most lubes. One good tip is to put a towel under her and use lots of a lube she likes.

If you use a condom on each plug or vibrator you use anally, it will simplify the clean up.

If you are NOT using a condom on your cock, be aware that a good load of come can act like a small enema.

Some claim they do enemas for cleansing for anal sex, but my observation is that they do them because they enjoy giving or getting them. Adding liquids to the back side is likely add to the messiness, I have found.

KY or Liquid Silk or Astro-Glide or any of many good lubes will work. Vasoline works if condoms are not going to be used. If you saw "Last Tango in Paris" you see a use for butter.

Flavored lubes usually do not give as much protection as regular ones. They get sticky and may dry.

I say go slow and use lots of lube. Pour more lube down your cock if things seem to get dry.

Many folks like long foreplay before moving to anal penetration. many like vaginal fucking 1st too. Of course you can go from pussy to ass, but never go directly from ass to pussy. That can give many women a bad infection.

Lots of men and women of many diverse groups enjoy giving and/or getting anal sex. Enjoy!

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 3:50:14 PM   
colouredin


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I have found thw worse thing is in vanilla relationships when men attempt anal with no warning, suddenly flip you over and bobs your uncle, it meant that it took me ages to even consider it perperly. I found using plugs alone helped me, learned what felt comfy without the stress or pressure of anyone else, i think i would have been far more nervous if i hadnt had that.

And lube make sure it IS NOT any of these newfangled ones, heat or tingle, the first experiance of anal is going to be intense enough without weird tingly heat things going on

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 4:13:04 PM   
slaverosebeauty


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Eros is the best stuff, it only takes a little. I put one drop on my fingers and it easily covered a decent part of my hand, I had to wash it off {wiping ti with a cloth doesn't work very well}, so it will stick aroudn through the friction and though extended play. Its also good with condoms and toys, no issues. I found one that was good as well, and close to Eros, but, I can't remember the name of it. My local adult store turned me onto Eros years ago, I have  BIG bottle that I use to refill my little one; I won't use anything else now. My bottles have lasted a long time.

Remember, its better to have a bit too much than not enough, OUCH. I should note, I am VERY allergic to most stuff, an I have nver had an issue with Eros, ever, this from a person who gets allergic reaction to stuff thgat says 'hypo-allergenic.'

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 4:22:13 PM   
domiguy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

My advice is to fuck her in the ass.


You fuck them all in the ass....I'm along on this one with ennaozzie:

quote:

ennaozzie
I am curiuos why you seemed suprised that your girl wants to try anal.  Anal is practiced outside the BDSM and D/s lifestyles, sound like you know how to go about it anyway.

If its what you wanted to do i think that is great, that you get to do what you like to do.

As to the build up of things i guess some do it that way and most likly a better way to go about it, but first time for me none of that was done first did not bother me but i would suggest lube. 

All the best to you

beanie


Some of the kinkiest, freakiest women I have had the pleasure to defile have come from "vanilla" and are just waiting to meet the wrong guy to ruin there notion of sexuality forever....Lucky gals.




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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 4:24:39 PM   
Aileen68


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Get her slightly drunk, start fooling around with her, then fuck her in the ass.
That's how I did it the first time.
Worked for me.

edited to add...lube was spit and it worked just fine.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 6/4/2007 4:29:40 PM >

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 4:34:14 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
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all the advice is great.....just one more thought...i know i experimented a good bit alone with anal before ever expressing the desire to try it with a man....you may want to ask her if she has done this-she may know exactly how she wants it...
 
just watch out-it is addictive and to many (my self included), absolutely eye rollin knee knockin passin out wonderful...
 
you could create a monster......snort
 
good luck and enjoy

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 4:46:57 PM   
Lordandmaster


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No, I don't.  Some are too tight, you know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

My advice is to fuck her in the ass.


You fuck them all in the ass.

(in reply to domiguy)
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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 4:57:50 PM   
zumala


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My first anal experience was only a few weeks ago.  I knew that my husband really wanted my ass, so I lubed up a medium-sized butt plug and worked it in while I had all the time in the world.  He was at work. I put on underwear and jeans to keep the plug in place while I made dinner (about an hour).  After dinner, I told him what I'd been up to and we fucked shortly there after.  It wasn't bad.  We're thinking we may try it again soon.  The lube used was called 'Maximus' and it's expensive but good.
 
zuma

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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 5:08:44 PM   
ChgoFacilitator


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

No, I don't.  Some are too tight, you know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

My advice is to fuck her in the ass.


You fuck them all in the ass.

Is it true that a frog's ass is watertight?

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: my vanilla girl is expressing interest in anal!!! - 6/4/2007 5:11:52 PM   
domiguy


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Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

No, I don't.  Some are too tight, you know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

My advice is to fuck her in the ass.


You fuck them all in the ass.



I always knew you were a softy.....This is where some good aim and a running start might come in handy.....If they cry...They cry.

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