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Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 11:24:15 AM

minxmaze

Posts: 14
Joined: 4/24/2004
Status: offline

Education/manners/decorum/rules. A lot has been written in these areas, what to do in this, how they acting when, could you belive that they did that at all. The one thing I see a lot of are the simple rules of being human to one another being confused big time in this realm. A lot of people are grammar gestapos, they are the types that will type(scan ) a page of the dictionary to push there points at us shames to the written word "BAD" uneducated witting slobs. Yet you will hear these people tell you I grade and weed out this way I don't want a certain type, well on the same hand I as the bad speller do the same to weed out those that do such as I have found the educated humans I chat with know the keyboard enough to know what I ment to grade me as a human and not my lack of noun power. Now this argument I picked as it is the one that comes again and again, but is not the point of this post. It is just to show how both sides use the same way to weed out. But what this lack of education/dyslexia/handicap is about to me is not a base to put into the category of mannerisms or decorum yet so many do. How many times have I heard a good bottom type has the house clean, I want to slap the meow off that cat so bad grrr, being a good bottom type has nothing to do with it, being a good hostess/lady/man of the house is the area this falls into.For as a house to be a home the one in it must show their pride or lack there of in it. The rules of being human to one another, showing the proper decorum of your rule not as top type or bottom but as host or guest, as human, seems to have falling the way of a proper thank-you note. And now you add the lifestyle to it and it has all gotten jumbled. Why is it no one talks on the rules of being human in the roles that has before making it into a whole bdsm thing of your lacking as a _____ I am still in shock over being told picking up trash and cleaning with scrub brushes in areas adjoining my front lawn was just plain losing my mind as you just don't do that sort of thing. Never heard of cleaning being labeled that sort of thing before. Rules for being just human really should be not only talked on more but really more people should learn that being a guest has rules just as being a hostess has rules, then you add the whole bdsm flavors of rules but why is it so many just jumble it all to that bottom or top rules when it has nothing to do with it and all to do with just being a type of human be it from shows pride in all or one that does not?

Post #: 1

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 11:57:48 AM

playdom4me

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

Um......okaaaay.....so am I allowed to ask what the he** are scrub brushes doing in a post about "rules"?! LOL sorry, just a sassy sub.....

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Post #: 2

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 1:46:59 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

Your post is, kind of, all over the place and I don't think I understand the question...or if there was one. I did see the question mark, though...so, could you clarify a little.

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"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to minxmaze)

Post #: 3

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 1:52:32 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Um, us grammar gestapos..and I admit to being one..wonder what in the hell you are talking about? Sorry, but your post makes no sense..at least not to me. I don't know that we "push there (sic) points" at you for any other reason than clarity. At least that's what I do. If I can read a post, I don't comment on misspellings or improper grammar. However, when I can't understand what the poster means, then I pretty much have to.

(in reply to minxmaze)

Post #: 4

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 2:01:46 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
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This made NO sense to me either.

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Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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Post #: 5

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 2:12:17 PM

szobras

Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

If I am reading your question correctly; the "rules", that people live by as humans are stated, shared, debated, analyzed, understood, and misunderstood. Unless it's "off topic",the topic being BDSM and related relationships dynamics, will be within the context. It's all still here though.

(in reply to minxmaze)

Post #: 6

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 2:52:49 PM

ennaozzie

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline

Well said, basic manners never mind what lifestyle you tend to learn towards or are full on ito, has nothing to do with been just a good person with manners.

beanie

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(in reply to playdom4me)

Post #: 7

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 2:59:22 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

The only culture I know that scrub the pavement outside their homes are the Dutch. I've never seen it done in any other parts of Europe. I have little knowledge of Asia or Africa so it may be done other places.

Otherwise I don't really understand the point of your post. I will correct grammar or spelling if the person is being deliberately hostile or condescending. It's a way to take the wind out of their sails. But in general, you must be clear and not ambiguous in a text medium because there are no other cues to help give clarity to meanings. In r/l there is body language, vocal intonations, gestures and posture to help us read between the lines.

Online all we have are words. If you don't make sense, do expect someone to call you on it. None of us here are real experienced mind readers.

Your post wanders all over the place. Is there a point to it? Because we honestly cannot figure out what it is.

(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 8

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 3:59:35 PM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline

I believe the OP's point (and question) is that she has gotten the impression that what should be normal every day manners and behavior, no more no less, has taken on the trappings of BDSM. And she'd like to know why. For example, why would you judge a sub's performance on whether or not the dishes are done. They should be done anyway, by someone in the household, just for the sake of basic hygiene. So why does a sub who keeps up with the dishes get praised and one who maybe lets the Dom do it once in awhile get put down (presumably only by others outside the relationship)?

Well...my answer is that it depends on what the people in the relationship have agreed to. Some dynamics have the sub always doing the household chores. Others, especially where both work outside the home, have them taking turns or the chores divided more equitably. But some might look down on this as un-subly of the sub to allow their Dom to do such things. Then again, some might look down on anyone for anything that isnt the same as what they do.

Really noone has the right to judge except the people in the relationship.

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(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 9

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 4:05:32 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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Wow! I didn't get that at all. In fact, I didn't get any of it. Thanks for clarifying.

(in reply to mythi)

Post #: 10

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 4:08:14 PM

LadyPaige

Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Very good job of interpreting. I think.

(in reply to mythi)

Post #: 11

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 4:44:53 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

"I believe the OP's point (and question) is that she has gotten the impression that what should be normal every day manners and behavior, no more no less, has taken on the trappings of BDSM. And she'd like to know why. For example, why would you judge a sub's performance on whether or not the dishes are done. They should be done anyway, by someone in the household, just for the sake of basic hygiene. So why does a sub who keeps up with the dishes get praised and one who maybe lets the Dom do it once in awhile get put down (presumably only by others outside the relationship)?"

well if that's what the OP means....

I say it's not anyone's business who does what chore in my home or why they do said chore. I dare someone from the outside to presume to know what's best for my household and/or scrutinize the choices I make in chores or well anything.

Unless of course I've thrown it out there for debate.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to LadyPaige)

Post #: 12

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 4:55:40 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Dear minxmaze,

Judging the judges is never an easy thing, it usually brings judgement.

Though if we are honest with ourselves, we have all donned the robe,
and that is not necessarily a bad thing. As we journey through life,
there or here, we must judge for ourselves those issues which will
affect us. If we are to be responsible for ourselves and the decisions
we make, we certainly will judge accordingly. Sometimes our cause
and effect is understood for it's application, other times it meets
with rebuke and dismissal, judgement judging judgement, gavels
slamming with wild abandon, that one may be louder than the rest.
that the jury will find for one over the other, that the executioner
will render the sentence which ends the judgement of the judges.

(if you think they were confused before minxmaze, look at them now)

i understand your displeasure with definition of just what makes one
what. i personally don't care much for the "you do this, because
you're this" application, which tries to segregate us into nice little
understandable groups. i have never cared much for the image
and ideology which puts me in a bottle with listed ingredients,
regardless of my similarity to brand x. i am unique, you are unique,
we all possess those things about us which makes us unique. And
though it is good at times to let off a little steam when you feel them
putting you under their thumb of judgement and definition, living for
your own happiness is the best way to assure a speedy acquittal.

In this life dear minxmaze, know that you will judge and be judged,
sometimes for purposeful and redeeming meaning and sometimes not.
Be who you are minxmaze, a beautiful person i'm sure, and by the
way, you missed a spot. (i can relate, one can eat off the floors in
my house, but that's cause i'm a submissive you know, and we ALL
keep a sparkling home) The judges said so.

Born to serve, chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to minxmaze)

Post #: 13

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 5:54:08 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Even the CM translator can't do her magic here, but if Mythi is right, I'd say that I agree that people tend to see what they want to see and when they "get into this" they suddenly want to convert everything into being a "Ds type thing" which becomes a mess when you try and say "subs do X" and "doms do Y' and even further "subs SHOULD do X and NOT Y and doms SHOULD do Y and NOT X"

But such is life, you deal, move on, find joy where you can and amusement everywhere else.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 14

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 7:29:40 PM

minxmaze

Posts: 14
Joined: 4/24/2004
Status: offline

Well what can I say, let me try this way.
There are different flavors of rules and what applies to different areas, having a clean house was nothing to do with being a "good" top or bottom but too many people say it does, all it is, is being a good home keeper ie making a house you live in a home.
Same goes for spelling or lack of being judged as a worth it type of bottom to talk to or too snobby to relate too.
What I am getting at is basic being human to being a flavor of bdsm, why?
Well I can see why now, but there is a difference between decorum as a host and guest to being served by.
Why do people just make basic good manners into some bdsm rules to say what you are or are not?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 15

RE: Flavors/types/rules oh my - 5/27/2007 9:18:47 PM

TigressFL

Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mythi

I believe the OP's point (and question) is that she has gotten the impression that what should be normal every day manners and behavior, no more no less, has taken on the trappings of BDSM. And she'd like to know why. For example, why would you judge a sub's performance on whether or not the dishes are done. They should be done anyway, by someone in the household, just for the sake of basic hygiene. So why does a sub who keeps up with the dishes get praised and one who maybe lets the Dom do it once in awhile get put down (presumably only by others outside the relationship)?

If you are correct and that is indeed what the Op was asking then here are my thoughts..

I am not impressed by a sub or slave that does any duty that he or she would do in his or her own daily life as an adult. That is NOT at all what it is about in my relationships as there is less that a sub or slave could do for me that I could not do myself. What it is about for me is that they do everything when I say and how I say. If I prefer that the dishwasher be loaded a specific way or the laundry be done 2 loads everyday then they toss their personal way out the window and do it MY way. In addition, the manner in which they complete their tasks matters in the sense that they are detail oriented and completed what they are given without fail, without excuses and without a negative attitude. He or she cannot decide what they want to put off for another time unless I give that option. Someone that can handle and most importantly thrive with that type of authority over them on a daily basis is what they get their "good boy" or "good girl" or other kudos for as that is the difficult aspect.

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Live your own truth, Life is short

(in reply to mythi)

Post #: 16

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