|
pamela700 -> RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? (5/27/2007 6:30:51 PM)
|
we are into both, and have found people on here, also on alt.com and aff.com and craigslist.
the most important thing for us has been to find those who are interested in both, and really talking to them about it. we've been most successful meeting other folks at plain old swing parties who then admit to being into bdsm. we make it easy to bring up the topic, because it's fairly normal to do the 'how did you guys meet' question when meeting new folks, and my partner and i met at a bdsm club. people that know the name of the club kind of get it, and we then take it from there.
as far as what some people here posted about it getting out of hand for one dom to control the situation...it all depends on the scene. it helps if you've all had some experience in both 'scenes' beforehand. if anyone needs absolute control over everyone, it should be somewhat arranged in advance. we've had very successful small gatherings with 4 or 5 couples (or the equivalent), where people agree who will top whom, who will be acting more like 'assistants' (helping with binding, positioning, running for a drink of water etc.). we've also had a lot of fun getting to know people this way, where everyone brings their favorite bdsm toys and after dinner we start taking them out, discussing their relative merits, and then almost invariably someone volunteers to use it on someone else who is interested. and when the bdsm play has people so far over the edge they can't take it anymore, the sex stuff begins.
in my experience, it's best when it's not overly controlled. if the dominant folk in the room are respectful of each other, not interested in a pissing contest, everyone can learn and play and have a good time.
regarding the whole swing-don't touch if not asked thing, you'll probably have better luck with that stuff at smaller or more private parties, be they swing or what we like to call 'crossover' (both swing and bdsm involved).
i'd stress again that the best results will be had by screening the people you meet carefully, getting to know them a bit, and making sure everyone's head is in the right place. inexperienced players often have to deal with jealousy and other competitive issues that don't lead to a fun time.
good luck in your search! if you guys ever head out towards the new york city area, we'd love to invite you!
---pam
|
|
|
|
