It is getting really difficult finding the right one

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It is getting really difficult finding the right one - 5/24/2007 8:45:03 PM

luvpats

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

SWM, 48, switch (pure switch 50/50), inexperienced, never married, no children, never been in love, never had a serious relationship. I will tell you that it is getting really difficult to find the right one. It is getting even difficult to find a partner of any kind especially a true switch. Most women I meet just receive. Does a true switch really exist??

Even the profiles I read on this site all the women tend to be submissive even though they say they will switch. Seems like they are only switching to please their partner rather than enjoying it themselves.

Are some individuals just born to be single forever? Or is there someone for everyone?? OK women tell me I am a red flag thru and thru. OK so I haven't been married or even been in love. That is because I have not found her yet and I am beginning to think I never will.

Best wishes to all of you.

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RE: It is getting really difficult finding the right one - 5/25/2007 12:10:23 AM

ennaozzie

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline

True switch, true Dom, True subbie I hear that so often when there are so many variances, you are looking for you by the sound of it.

But I hope you do find someone that truly likes to be a switch, but we are all different just as you are different to many, I think its bloody lucky we are different, would it not be boring if we where all the same?

How about getting to know people as friends with no intention for anything else to start with they may no someone that is a switch like you having the same problem.

In the mean time you get to enjoy others company, I found that when I was not looking was the time when someone appeared, and that person either appeared out of the blue or was right in front of me the whole time.

You can never expect to find someone that is your perfect ideal that is not going to happen but if you open yourself up more you meet someone and realise although they are different than what you expected you have received more than you expected.

Ok some will think I am talking drivel but I truly believe what I have said.

Good luck to you in what you look for, and hope this finds you well.

beanie

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to luvpats)

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RE: It is getting really difficult finding the right one - 5/25/2007 5:25:26 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

To get a feel for what you're looking for, i read your profile. Frankly, it did not sound like the profile of a "true" switch ( and please forgive me for using the word true, however, the OP did use it and so it seemed to fit here). You're profile sounded more like a Dominant with sadistic as well as masochistic needs.

Let me explain why i feel you are Dom. You are very specific in what type of scene you prefer, included the percentage of the spanking that must be done by hand. A switch who is bottoming would normally give the control to the switch who is doing the topping. You do not seem willing to do that, and so my feeling is that you are a Dom....not a switch at all. Or...possibly...you are looking for a person who can bottom and top with you without the power exchange that a D/s or M/s relationship would have.

Also, you are very specific about the person with whom you wish to get involved. I'm sure there is someone, somewhere who might match your criteria. I'm also sure that the chances of you finding that very illusive person who matches your very specific criteria will be very very low.

You admit you are inexperienced which i'm assuming means that you are new to BDSM, D/s, M/s, etc. If i were a sub seeking a Dom or switch partner i would wonder why, in 30 years of possible vanilla dating, you have never ever found anyone to become emotionally involved with. My guess would be that:
#1. You have been too narrow in what you seek and refused to become involved with someone you did not instantly know was perfect....in other words...not willing to discover the good points of the other person that you might enjoy or,
#2. You aren't really willing to open up and share yourself with another. Relationships are give and take things and require compromise.

Please forgive me if i'm saying things you may not wish to hear. You did ask if it was really so difficult to find the right person, and i'm giving you my answer as a woman and a sub.

(in reply to luvpats)

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