RE: Internal ~~ External bonding

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RE: Internal ~~ External bonding - 5/26/2007 10:06:20 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
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Curious,
I could not disagree with you more. In an internet only relationship, you don't get to know someone well, you don't get to know someone at all. You get to know a fantasy and that is about it.

As LA said, so very often one thinks a level of intimacy has been achieved, but it turns out to be an illusion when you do meet in person.

To know someone, you have to be able to interact face to face. Sure you will get an initial and general idea whether you would like to meet someone by internet discussion, that's a necessary prerequisite. But if you want to really know if you are compatible, meet as soon as the two of your are comfortable doing so.

And, certainly try to find someone in your own area. Nothing good comes from connecting with someone half a world away. You either meet and find you have spent a lot of money on travel for nothing, or you find the person of your dreams, who lives a half a world away!

Namaste, Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

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RE: Internal ~~ External bonding - 5/26/2007 10:16:16 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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I completely disagree. At best, you get to know a lot about how the other person acts when he or she is chatting at a keyboard. You don't get to know the whole person.

Edited to add: Whoa, SirD beat me to it!

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

If you're single and willing, and haven't already, I'd suggest starting an Internet relationship with someone from across the world and without means to physically see you for a while.

You really get to know someone well and come to understand dynamics of emotions that are usually overlooked with such an experience. If you spend hours together a day- hours of talking (hopefully you click that well)- you really get to know a lot about the other person, and yourself.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 5/26/2007 10:17:16 AM >

(in reply to CuriousLord)

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RE: Internal ~~ External bonding - 5/26/2007 10:17:23 AM

MistressAva2

Posts: 4
Joined: 5/8/2007
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I don't really define things theway that you do, but I understand what you are coming from. Many people forget, or do not understand that dominant and submissive are adjectives, not nouns. I'm not talking about a semantics issue here, but what we are reall saying is a dominant MAN/WOMAN, or submissive MAN/WOMAN. If you put all your focus on the adjective rather than noun, then that is the only part of the person you will know, and that's just not enough to make a 24/7 relationship work. If you are casual play partners, and only interested in that one aspect, then fine. Unfortunately, people frequently connect adjectice to adjective and some very intense feelings can result. When life forces the connection to noun to noun, they realize that they don't even know the other person. If they have already made a commitment, then things can very complicated, or even ugly.

My advice is, that if you are only looking for play, then you are ok keeping the focus on the adjective. if you are looking for a more encompassing relationship, then move the focus off just bdsm in the beginning. Go on vanilla dates, get to know each other as people. If the other person doesn't want to do that, then find someone else, no matter how intense the bdsm might be.
-Ava

(in reply to shyinini)

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