What NOT to say to your Dominant/Master/Owner:
Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry
the vein above His right eye throbs.
{hmmmm; are you sure??}
"Quit it!," "Ouch, damnit!," "i'm hiding that toy when You go to work tomorrow,"
and cursing a blue streak are not safe words.
{nuts.. no wonder they didn't work}
"Oh my god, where did You get those, they are gorgeous!!!,"
is not considered boot worship.
{to my bestfriend they are... lol}
"Ya want fries with that?," "Want me to drink it for You too?," are not appropriate remarks when Master gives you an elaborate drink order.
{note.. write it down and make His initial that you have it correct..
that prevents any mistakes, and leaves Him liable.. }
Flipping your Dominant off while your hands are cuffed behind your back is a bad idea. Owners have ways of knowing these things.
{He has eyes everywhere, besides, their is probably a mirror behind you}
Putting lube, goop, Superglue, ink or any other substance that will sully the hands of Master on His toys while setting up for a session is not a good idea.
{why not??}
Kicking that toy you hate far under the bed is futile. Master will only secure your wristcuffs to your anklecuffs and make you crawl for it... repeatedly.
{damn.. hide the cuffs with it}
"Bite me," is never an intelligent response to a command.
{how about as a temptation?}
Doing your Beavis and Butthead imitation of "Fire, fire, fire, fire!,"
during Master's lecture on fireplay safety is considered rude.
{be nice, fire is dangrious.. so is Beavis and Butthead, which is considered torture and anyone subjecting a submissive or slave to such things,
should be reported for cruilty - beavis and butthead that is}
Responding with "Yes, All Wise, All Knowing Grand Imperial Weenie," is not appropriate when Master asks you if you are comfortable during a bondage scene.
{hmmmmmmmm; are you sure?}
Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while Master practices his Japanese rope work on you will try His patience, quickly.
{do medical play if you want that}
Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out while your
Dominant is discussing your punishment is not wise.
{or rolling your eyes.. BAD move}
There is no such thing as slave immunity, free slave day, or the pms defense.
{pms defence worked for a few murderess.. can we take a vote..
those sound like good days to me.. slave_union says they are valid}
The slave jury might not convict you,
but the Dom judge will override the verdict. Count on it.
{damn.. can't we overthrow the Dom Judge??.. slave_union says its legal}
Pretending Master's collection of buttplugs are toys and singing the
"Weebles wobble but they won't fall down," song is not a good idea.
{what are "weebles??}
Repeatedly blowing out each candle Master lights
during wax play will get you punished.
{make a wish...}
Checking Master's head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same, or worse.
{darn.. you mean it's NOT there??}
"I know You are but what am I?," is not the appropriate response when called a 'raunchy little whore' during humiliation play.
{then what is??.. how about 'Butthead'}
Using the spreader bars, paddles or canes for the fireplace is not a good plan.
{why not? right size and length.}
"Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me,"
is an unacceptable remark when Master's flogger slips.
{neither is laughing uncontrolably}
When Master pulls out His bullwhip and says He wants to play,
He doesn't mean hide-and-seek...He will find you eventually.
{no He wont.. cant find me}
Calling Merry Maids when you are ordered to spruce the place up
is not what your dominant had in mind.
{ok.. how about moving??}
"Faster, faster, we need a new Master," is NOT the song to sing during a session.
{hmmmmm}
"Oh, and You think I am?," is an unacceptable response to
hearing your Dominant say He is not pleased.
{look for a good hiding place.. in another state or timezone}
During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious imitation of Igor and hunch over, moaning "Yes, Master," when ordered to fetch something.
{do the Hunchback of Notre Dam instead.}
Adding "Sir," or "Master," to "Fuck that plan!," will not save you.
{damn.. now what am i suppose to say??}
Singing the chorus of "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better," under your breath during a session is considered foolhardy.
{OUCH!!!!]
Arguing whether "Master might not be right, but Master is never wrong," is Zen or Buddhist philosophy will only get you rewarded with kneeling in the corner on a bed of Legos "to help you consider the question in quiet contemplation."
{hide the legos.. and Lincoln Logs}
Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation scene to crack your Owner up only lasts for so long. Then you will pay BIG.
{hummm sing "This is the Song that Doesn't end" instead}
Asking "Is that as HARD as You can hit??," is considered a cry for help amongst submissive suicide prevention worker.
{Help!! damn, can't find the number... where is it when you need it. }
