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My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because we ... - 5/16/2007 8:38:01 PM

FelinePersuasion

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I am taking my bf's dog for a week, and Sparky is hurt and is acting all displaced, I have not shown favortisim at all, in fact if anything, he's clearly favored because he's coming in with me and she's not allowed to.

How do I keep him from feeling her visit has shoved him off his favored status, and he's been replaced? The night she came he was all excited like who are you I can't wait to meet you , why can;t I come meet you, and then today he's all like sad and pouty, and unsure, and he's avoiding her.

Edited to add I have kissed him and coddled him, and this morning he laid in my bed between my knee's while I read my text book, and I've fed him human food, which he looooooooooves* yes I know not good for him but he's 17 and healthy as can be so I don't buy it"

He's still acting all hurt and as if I have shoved him aside.

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 5/16/2007 8:42:06 PM >

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/16/2007 8:42:36 PM

Sinergy

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Who is the Alpha in the relationship?

It really is not much different than a D/s relationship. The dog derives it's sense of standing in the world by the way the Alpha treats it. You are not showing the new dog favoritism. Your dog will get over it. Mollycoddling it's feelings turns it in to the Alpha, and will give you a dog that continually acts up and does what it can to make your life miserable.

Sinergy

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/16/2007 8:44:45 PM

HutchGarahl

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It's natural. Try doing things together with them. Walking, go for a swim, play ball, feed them together, watch tv.....whatever. Just letting him see and know he's still your baby.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/16/2007 8:56:09 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Hutch I was playing ball with him and Ginger was like he's running, so ok I'll run too, and sparky got the wrong idea I guess, because he droped the ball and left.

Food is a touchy issue, she thinks his dish is hers too, we noticed today she kept trying to run him off his dish, he's go to his she'd run him off, he's like ok, if I can't have this dish what about that one* hers* and she'd run him off her dish. We've seperated their food, hers was by the back door and his was by the garage door, aproximatly a foot away or more, and we've moved hers clear across the yard now so hopefully she will stop .

I can always play ball with him where she won't make him think she's going to take it.

I feel bad for both dogs, Ginger has lost her mommie, is in a strange place, is kept outside, when she's used to being inside, she cries when I go in, but I can't stay every moment, I do go outside frequently though to let her know she's not been abandoned.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/16/2007 9:23:38 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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If he is used to being the alpha dog and this other dog is moving in on his territory that could be your problem. Feed the dogs a separate times and in separate places. Give the other dog his toys and not your dog's. The dogs are playing whose alpha.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/16/2007 10:44:56 PM

FelinePersuasion

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I bought Ginger some brand new tennis balls, so she wouldn't need to chase my babies, she had no interest in them lol. so they went to sparky.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/17/2007 4:22:03 AM

HutchGarahl

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Poor guy. He's definately got a jealousy issue. Too bad ya can't tell him the other dog is only there temporarily and he understand. Her trying to overrun Sparky on the food dish is a dominance issue. Seems she may feel she needs to make him know she's there and not going to let him override her. Ok so...feeding at seperate times is a good idea, but make sure she's fed where he's not able to go near her while she eats. If she's that strong on her powertrip with food, ya don't want fights to occur. Fortunately a week doesn't last long, though Sarky may feel it's taking forever.

Best I can tell ya hun, is just continue to show him he's your baby, your not replacing him and i'm sure a couple days after the other is gone, he's be ack to his normal Sparkly self.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/17/2007 9:21:38 AM

FelinePersuasion

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I'm just glad she don't bark when she runs him off, she just walks over and her pychical presence there is enough to run him off. I hope we have stopped that. He's taken to hanging out in the front yard now to keep away from her.

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Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/17/2007 12:20:44 PM

Arpig

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This is a dog we are talking about right? acting pouty? please give me a break, its a dog, he will be fine if just left to his own devices

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/17/2007 1:46:40 PM

HutchGarahl

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Yes, it's a dog....you obviously have no clue. Animals experience feelings as well as humans.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/17/2007 2:48:36 PM

LaTigresse

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I love animals, I adore dogs but the fact remains, they are NOT humans. They do not have the cognitive brain ability to reason. They only pick up their cues from humans. (my human is happy I am happy, my human is stressed I am stressed)

You are allowing bad behaviour with both dogs because of your concerns. Dogs need discipline and structure much more than they need mollycoddled, especially when there are changes in their environment.

Quit placing your fears and concerns on the dogs and give them what they need. They will be better for it.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/17/2007 2:54:56 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Tigress, it's true, he is unhappy she's here. I am not putting anything on him, he avoids her, he stays close to me and my dad, if he's with me and she comes by he'll get up and leave lol. He's not like this normally. But he'll see things will be back to normal in no time. She is supposed to leave next thursday.

We've corrected the food concerns.

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Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/17/2007 11:37:43 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I love animals, I adore dogs but the fact remains, they are NOT humans. They do not have the cognitive brain ability to reason. They only pick up their cues from humans. (my human is happy I am happy, my human is stressed I am stressed)

You are allowing bad behaviour with both dogs because of your concerns. Dogs need discipline and structure much more than they need mollycoddled, especially when there are changes in their environment.

Quit placing your fears and concerns on the dogs and give them what they need. They will be better for it.

I disagree, LaTigresse, but your post does make certain points.

The dog needs to be dealt with as a dog, not as a anthropomorphized animal. A dog is a pack animal. The dog looks up to the alpha and does what the alpha wants the dog to do or faces death or expulsion from the pack.

Or the dog takes control of the pack and becomes the Alpha.

If your dog is having an issue with it's place, it is having difficulty with figuring out whether it is the alpha or somebody else is. Time to teach it stupid pet tricks to remind it who buys it Kibbles and takes it in to be neutered.

Sinergy

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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
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"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/18/2007 5:00:12 AM

BreatheinToMe

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I would agree that feeding the dogs separately is a must. But I choose to have them eating at the same time,(but different rooms, door closed) hence no one is left wondering when the heck they will be eating! lol I am assuming you have feeding times, not just a bowl sitting out all day.

When my dog was visiting another dog's residence, I thought she would rip out the throat of the other, but in reality, she got micro managed by the other "Domme Dog" he he.....to the point of barking and pulling around with her jaws. No danger or injuries, just....let's call it "correction". But I observed this behavior, no interaction. The "pack" even if only two will learn their place in pecking order and become interactive. Encourgement with praise, scratches and rubs are positive, even better with both parties present.

But be careful not to stop petting one, because the other came over and wanted some attention. Pet them both at the same time.

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/18/2007 5:47:21 AM

spankmepink11

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This reminds me of my recent trip to visit my mother in TN. I brought my 85-90 lb Lab/Rott mix to her home which is inhabited by her two, much loved cats. My mom gave the dog the run of the house...( which was amazing in itself, she has never liked other peoples children let alone pets!)
The resulting interaction was pretty interesting. We encouraged the dog to respect the privacy of moms room...since thats the cats main hang out, and in the early mornings, i would keep the dog downstairs with me so that they could have their little morning ritual undisturbed. She has a walk out basement so he and i could come and go for our early morning walks without disturbing them. When the cats ventured out, my dog would get all excited...and try and get into "play mode" The male cat...(the definite Alpha of thier little pack) would walk around...all dignified...head up...and tail in the air...as if to say....you are here...and i tolerate you...but do not forget this is MY home.
Even though he had his own dish....he periodically ate from theirs...and drank a lot of their water....they didn't mind in the least.
Of course animals do not think cognitively as humans...but, we as humans interpret their instinctual reactions. Since we are humans, we can only present that in human fashion.
My main concern through out the visit was to not make the cats feel displaced or usurped, invaded. The reason i know they did not, was because they didn't change their routine much...if at all. Also, they still showed me affection...and let me pet them. They've forgiven me all these years for bringing my 3 rambunctious sons to their home, and now apparently...they forgive me for brining this big goofy beast into their midst as well.

It was interesting that the female took the alpha role in feeding, i have friends who have a male pitt bull, and a female pitt terrier. The female is definitely the alpha in regards to the "pack" especially in terms of feeding, but the male is a staunch home defender ,and aggressive with outsiders .

In future if you pet sit again, i think trying hard not to disrupt your own pets routine ,too much, will help alot.

< Message edited by spankmepink11 -- 5/18/2007 5:51:18 AM >

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RE: My dog is feeling replaced and pushed aside because... - 5/18/2007 10:43:04 PM

FelinePersuasion

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He is free fed, breathinToMe, I fill his dish each time it's empty and he's allowed to chomp at will during the day, it works, He doesn't over eat either, I know some dogs do over eat if you free feed. I tried petting them both today at once, it worked as long as Sparky could be to the side of me Earlier this afternoon I tried to call him to me, but he refused to come because ginger was also in the vicinity of me. I did get him to come a few times to bring me his ball, but mostly he ignored my attempts to call him.

Spank me, his routin is to hang out in the yard, going here going there, and laying out in the sun, but he don't want to be in the yard now she's in the yard, He'll go up front, to lay down which is ok cause he's allowed up there, But in the evenings when she's gone to bed, he don't understand she's not out there, so he's reluctant to go out there:P

quote:

ORIGINAL: BreatheinToMe

I am assuming you have feeding times, not just a bowl sitting out all day.

But be careful not to stop petting one, because the other came over and wanted some attention. Pet them both at the same time.

quote:

In future if you pet sit again, i think trying hard not to disrupt your own pets routine ,too much, will help alot

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to BreatheinToMe)

Post #: 16

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