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onestandingstill -> RE: Fisting advise please (5/16/2007 6:59:16 AM)
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Usually for someone who's not had kids you have to be very very very turned on and stimulated to orgasm several times before he should begin fisting.
Maybe you guys are being a little too goal oriented and you've torn yourself trying to just force things faster than you body could keep up with it.
The cramps you're having definitely would lead me to believe the tears or scratches (did he use a glove??) more than likely are definitely deeper than just your opening /perineum area.
Once you heal I'd recommend you getting as relaxed as possible and way into the mood before you try again.
Do something like have him give you a massage (if he does that sort of stuff), or a nice bubble bath.
If you opt for the bath masturbate yourself to orgasm while in there as that makes the tissues inside much more elastic.
Then fool around as you like oral, manual, toys or penetration with him again to an orgasm.
Once you're pussy's good and wet and quivery then have him don a latex glove, lube you about 5X as much as he heaver has before even squirting about 2-3 tablespoons in your twat as deep as he can without sticking the tube in you. What I've done is have him put a couple of big dollops of lube on his finger and stuff it inside as far as he can a few times. The filling your hole full of lube can be part of the manual stimulation he does to get you all horny hot and bothered.
Then he should gradually go from 2, to 3, to 4 fingers then really stimulate the heck out of you to the point of orgasm. Once you're so quivery and hot you're about to come have him make his hand into the shape he would if he was pretending it was a sock puppet and allow you to force your pussy over his hand.
The part that pulls me is the thumb knuckle.
I'll get him right to the knuckle while he's playing with my clit and push my twat onto his hand at a rate where it indeed stings much like if you put your fingers in your cheeks and stretched your mouth lips tight.
If the stinging goes much beyond stretching your lips you're in danger of tearing.
Over all I'd recommend you not being so goal oriented and thinking you have to make it fit THIS time.
As you keep trying this the skin will stretch and more than likely you'll get there one day.
Enjoy the interaction and trying and training your pussy.
Don't look at it like you failed if his hand does not go all the way in.
I agree no matter how you're feeling you should go to the Doctor as cramps the next day after not even getting all the way in there concerns me that something's amiss.
Yes, it will be horribly embarrassing, but it's necessary for you to be a good steward of your vaginal health.
I'd go, feeling better or not, just to be sure I didn't do any damage, or if I did do damage how long before that will heal enough to be penetrated without exacerbating the condition.
You have to remember to temper your humiliation with the notion there's nothing you'll tell him he's not heard before.
In addition to that to discuss these sorts of things when it's not crisis mode necessarily helps you.
You, in your coming out to him, should say you and your guy really get into rough sex and if you came to him with say a bruised butt or something, where you stated they were consensual marks would he fill out the potential abuse form and turn it into social services.
If he says he knows you well enough he'd not think you were being abused then you have a place to ask all sorts of things. You'd also not have to coordinate going to see him with not having any marks.
It would open a experts door of knowledge to you that would benefit you immensely.
Due to patient confidentiality he'd not tell your secret to anyone.
Compromising his opinion of you is way worth the risk of having a Doctor in your court when you have questions or concerns.
Good luck to you and I hope your pussy feels better soon,
suzanne
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